MikeM

My posts yesterday were quite embarrassing. So much so that I'm a little scared to post this.

But I have to.

Yesterday I reached a level of being so drunk that I had no idea what I writing anymore. Some things might actually have been delusional. I suspect they were, I can't quite remember a lot of it. But I was in between awake and asleep while being very drunk.

To all the people responding, thank you. I really appreciate all the time and effort all you put into helping me.

Now, day 1 again. I'm hungover and am going to bed again in a moment to sleep it off. Apart from the hangover I'm doing fine though. Now it's time to never have a hangover ever again. They're horrible...

Again, thanks a lot. And sorry for the weird posts.

Coldfusion

We're rootin' for you, Mike!

Upward2Enlightenment

Just don't give up mike.

You may want to bookmark your posts so the next time you think about drinking you can reread them.

CarrieBradshaw

If your posts were the most regretful thing you did while drunk, consider yourself blessed! I'm on day 1 as well. It has been a LONG day. Hang in there! I agree that we are rooting for you!

Carlotta

Have you made a plan yet Mike? Maybe consider getting some F2F support so you have a real time support system?
Obviously, whatever you are doing is either not enough or not the right approach for you. Maybe it's time to switch directions and see what you can do so you don't end up with the same results (getting drunk).
In the interim, why don't you join us at the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5760830

Anna

I'm glad to see you're back, Mike.

least

I hope this is your last day one.

Odelle

Mike, you hold the key to release yourself from the bondage of the hellish nightmare of alcohol. The further you distance yourself from its grip, the more freedom you will have to experience the true joys of life that are currently masked by addiction. Go ahead, open the door and step outside, one day at a time quickly becomes weeks, then months, and on into years.

We are all unique in our own ways, but for whatever reason, we have all been given the burden of alcoholism/addiction to overcome. And that, my friend, is the common bond we share and why so many people here have come together to offer you support.

Please read the responses to yesterday's post, you will find a lot of useful information to help you succeed.

Ariesagain

When you're feeling a little better, you might want to go back and read your posts because they really didn't sound delusional, they sounded like the pure voice of addiction. It's like in The Exorcist where the demon's voice comes out of the little girl...the mask was off.

Maybe the more we all learn what the voices of our addicted selves sound like, the easier it is to tell them to shut up?

Jsbodhi

Glad you're back.
Don't feel bad, I'm a moron when I'm drunk- I'm a social person so I usually end up sending weird texts, phone calls etc.

Xoxo

MariahGayle

You can do this Mike!!

Sean30

I can relate Mike and I'm so glad you're back brother. I'm on day one too. I'm here for you mate

ZeldaFan

I'm not giving up on ya Mike! I know you can do this! You just have to find a plan that works for you. Lots of good advice in this thread as well as the other. Take it all in and find something that works for you. The key is to never give up. I know you want sobriety so very badly and it can be yours. You just have to want it enough to do whatever it takes. Only you will truly know what that is and I hope you find it. You deserve a life free of alcohol and all the troubles it brings.

Hevyn

We're with you, Mike - and we're not giving up on you. It's not fun anymore - in fact, it's dangerous - time to get free.

Shantilove

No need to be embarrassed Mike! We are here for you and we understand all too well the struggle. I've sent some bizarre messages in that half awake half asleep drunk phase.
The reason you are hanging around even when your drinking is because you really do want to be sober. And you can be sober. You have so many people in your corner rooting for you, you just need to want it as much for yourself as we want it for you. We believe in you. Just take it one day at a time

Soberween

Nah, your post weren't embarrassing. You actually gave some pretty good insight from the dark side and discouraged anyone who might be thinking of drinking to not do it and that it is all a lie and isn't worth it. That was actually a pretty unselfish thing to do. So glad you are back. You will figure it out. Early sobriety is really tough.

teatreeoil007

Try not to be embarrassed ... I don't see that you wrote anything obscene or anything like that... You're being honest and that's good !

Dee74

Glad to see you back on track Mike.

No need to feel embarrassed Mike...it's wasted energy - energy better used to make a new foolproof iron clad plan.

There's no reason why you can't embrace sobriety as a permanent way of life.

I think that should be your focus now

D

MikeM

Thanks for the nice and encouraging replies guys! This is day 2 and I still feel a bit hungover. I got even more drunk than usual this last time and now I'm paying the price. And it's just too dangerous. Good thing I don't leave the house when drunk. But still, it's dangerous in many ways.

I'll go back and read my posts. Honestly, I'm dreading it... To read back all that stuff. But I'm serious about being sober and that is part of it.

I've started up a plan. I've called my brother for help. He lives very close by and will check up on me daily. And I just walk over to him or call him when I need help.

It's a start. The second part is to identify my triggers and find a way to accept them and move on, instead of giving in. Last time started with a switch flipping in my head, making me want to drink. Now that I've been through a binge again, I can see that it is much easier to not drink while still sober than to quit when I've had a few in you.

So, there will be triggers. It will be difficult. But one of the things that popped into my head while lying in bed, thinking this through was... Btw, this is not meant to be offensive, it's just literally what I thought and it helped a lot with my attitude. I was lying there, thinking about it all and the thought that popped into my head was: "Grow a pair."

So, going for it again. I'm not sure if I can post much today. I'm very tired and might go back to bed.

Meraviglioso

Hey Mike, one thing I learned about triggers is that they are everywhere. If I wanted to drink, a trigger was always there. It is a good idea to think about the big stuff that really does get you going. For example I had to back out of being overly involved with a lawsuit I am involved in and just let the lawyers call me if there was anything critical they needed from me. But in the end, I could have been "triggered" by the slightest change of the breeze.
I'd start adding to that plan because frankly, speaking only from experience, it's not enough.
You can do this.