How to reach out?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 103
How to reach out?
I first came to SR because of my ABF. Today I am here beacause of a very dear friend. I have found out that a friend of mine that goes back almost 17 years is in the hospital and dying. They give him a couple more days to live. His illness is alcohol related and he is only 52 years old. I cannot say I am shocked by this phone call or information. Of all the addicts and alcoholics in my life, and there are quite a few, he was the one I always knew that a phone call like this would come.
I want so desperately to call him and thank him for being in my life. He literally helped shape the person I am today. I have so many good memories with him, but I find myself paralyzed. I guess I am just looking for some encouragement. I am afraid I will break down and lose it over the phone. I dont want him to hear me cry.
I want so desperately to call him and thank him for being in my life. He literally helped shape the person I am today. I have so many good memories with him, but I find myself paralyzed. I guess I am just looking for some encouragement. I am afraid I will break down and lose it over the phone. I dont want him to hear me cry.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 222
Your words are very touching:
"thank him for being in my life. He literally helped shape the person I am today. I have so many good memories with him"
That's all you need to say. Even if you say it while crying, it's ok. And I'm sure he feels the same way about you. Take all of your courage and make the phone call or go see him. You won't regret it if you do. But you might regret it if you miss the opportunity to tell him how you feel. My thoughts are with you during such a difficult time.
"thank him for being in my life. He literally helped shape the person I am today. I have so many good memories with him"
That's all you need to say. Even if you say it while crying, it's ok. And I'm sure he feels the same way about you. Take all of your courage and make the phone call or go see him. You won't regret it if you do. But you might regret it if you miss the opportunity to tell him how you feel. My thoughts are with you during such a difficult time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 103
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. His condition is decreasing rapidly and he is too weak to talk, so a friend that is there with him read a message I sent. I am glad he heard what I needed to say, even if it wasn't from my lips. I am just so heartbroken. I cannot express how baffled I am, that alcoholism can take such a hold on someone, that when faced with death or giving up drinking, some choose death. He is loved by soooo many people too. It is just heartbreaking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Someone this important to your life and shaping you is dying. If it were me I would call and talk to him and tell him honestly about how you feel. Doing it through a third person may not mean a whole lot as he may feel like he is not worthy of being told directly from you. I really think it would mean more to a dying man for you to tell him yourself about how you feel. He is sick, he is dying. Yes, these types of contacts are hard and you may cry, but be courageous..that will be a good "step" for you in your own recovery; to be open, honest, direct. He's dying, I don't think crying in front of him is something to be ashamed of and it actually might good for you both. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it goes well.
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