eyeshake

Hi All,

I could use some advice from someone with some years under their belt. I have 3 weeks tomorrow, which is the longest I've gone in years. I've found that a lot of minuscule things are really getting under my skin, angering me actually.

For example, I live with 3 other guys that I've known for years. Since stopping drinking at the beginning of the month, I find their presence to be upsetting. So much so, that I'm afraid to leave my room when I'm home for fear of having to acknowledge them. It's getting to a point where I won't go into the kitchen to eat because they may be in the living room that I have to walk through to get there.

One of my roommates has been dating our upstairs neighbor, which also bothers me because she's over every single night. She and her roommates are having a pot luck tonight, and my roommate invited me upstairs. There's nothing I would rather not do right now than hang out with a bunch of strangers drinking alcohol.

I can't help but feel my roommate is disappointed in me and is chalking my behavior up to me being anti-social. Little does he realize how terrified I am in early sobriety. I feel best when I'm alone, and I never used to feel like that.

I'm angry that I feel this way. All I can think about is how I want to move out and find a place where I can live by myself with my books, instruments and LPs.

Did any of you with long-term sobriety feel this way in your first few months? Not drinking isn't difficult; it's being around other people that is.

Anna

Congratulations on 3 weeks of sobriety. That's great.

At that point in my recovery, I was really focused on staying on track and doing whatever it took to do so. I wasn't able to be around people drinking alcohol for many months. I tried. It didn't work for me, so it was a choice. But, I didn't isolate. I started walking in the early evening to get myself out of the house and one of the many benefits was to reconnect with my neighborhood and neighbors. I had been isolating when I drank and I felt like I was re-emerging.

Would you consider talking to your roommate and explaining that you are nervous about being around alcohol? The bottom line is to be true to yourself and if saying 'No' is part of that path, then that's the way to go.

I think you will go through lots of ups and downs emotionally and you will be able to deal with them. Understandably, being around a bunch of people drinking right now is not what you want to do. But, isolating on a long-term basis is not the best choice either. Hopefully you can find a balance that will work for you.

least

I hope you can find the strength within yourself to stay sober, no matter what. Your circumstances are less than ideal, but if you want sobriety bad enough, you can achieve it.

doggonecarl

Congrats on three weeks.

Yes, I think most of us in early sobriety were touchy. You think it's bad with roommates, try it with a wife.

Emotions are going to be on a roller coaster these early days. Hang in there. You said you've known these guys for years. Long enough to tell them you've quit and why you are acting the way you are? They may support you, they might not, but at least they will know why you are acting the way you are.

Soberwolf

Congrats on 3 weeks

Dharma33

Hi eyeshake-

Well, I don't have years of sobriety, but I do remember that early time.

....And what Carl said

My dear husband drove me bananas and I let him hear about it too- poor guy didn't quite know if he should run, hug me, or wear a suit of armor. Ha! But, it does get better- I promise.

Give it some more time. I agree with Anna, if you can get out for a walk, go to a coffee shop with your headphones on- something to distract you that feels ok at the time may help. I stayed far away from any situations that involved drinking and I protect my sobriety like my life depends on it, because it does.

Congrats on 3 weeks; you are doing great!