MikeM

So at this point I can tell you, I can't stop drinking once being buzzed.

And the advice I've been getting over and over again, and rightly so, is to put the beer down and quit.

To those people I have the following, perhaps peculiar questions. I'm writing them in present tense, but I know that for many of you, this is far behind you:

1, You're drinking and need to stop. What is the first thing that happens? What do you think and feel. How does this progress into not drinking?

2. See 1.

M

mav

1) resolve to never drink again.
2) don't drink
3) see (2)
4) in the event of difficulties, go to (1)

FreeOwl

Usually 1 led to

2) eventually stop when arrested, passed out or out of booze.

Which led to

3) repeated and worsening troubles

And eventually

4) choose sobriety and start living a much better life

MikeM

Thanks. But how do you feel, think and experience this?

MikeM

What is going on in your mind and feelings that makes you not drink? What do you feel? What do you think?

desertsong

I have a sheet of paper that lists all of the horrible stuff I've done while drinking/drunk. Actually, it's more than A sheet of paper ... it's several. I have a good "forgetter" and the further I get away from my last drink, the less vivid those bad times are. So I pull out my list and read it. It brings it all back again ... the misery, the despair, the hopelessness, the sickness, the shakes, dry heaves, foggy head, and the horrible risks I took with my life (and my son's). Kicks my butt into reality again.

Would I love a drink now and then? Absolutely. Am I willing to add to my list? Hell no. I have a choice and I choose to stay sober because I may not make it back again if I let myself go there "one more time."

least

I stopped drinking due in part to getting sick and tired of waking up hating myself. I knew if I continued to drink, I would continue to hate myself.

I was sick of being in prison so I let myself out.

Nic233

Mike for me- this time round I made a very drunken promise to my boys on the Friday night that inwould not drink from Monday which is what I stuck to. I had daily intentions of giving up before that which I threw out the window but this time partly because I'd promised my boys and partly because I made a plan..I kept going. The Monday saw me make a doctors appointment, ditch all alcohol and come straight on here. You can do this..maybe you need a plan X good luck

SobrieTee

Mike, you are looking for excuses to keep drinking. I am not judging because I did the same thing for many, many years. You have the resources - get yourself to a detox center. You posted about a fear of hospitals or institutions - detox isn't like rehab. You don't have to commit to staying, but they'll help you through withdrawal. I went to a crappy public detox center because that was all I could afford, and it was a blessing. I had no intention of doing any form of rehab or AA afterwards, but a few days sober changed my mind. You don't need to make some grand long term plan right this second. All you need to do TODAY is STOP DRINKING. The rest will follow more easily than you can imagine. Even if you ultimately choose not to do rehab, at least give yourself the opportunity to make that decision with a clear head. Right now you are not thinking clearly, but once you get a few days sober, with medical help, you can begin to form a more permanent plan.

To answer your question - my thought process was that I was going to die if I didn't stop drinking.

mav

It's different for everyone and everyone will have arrived in this position for different reasons and will have different reasons for wanting to stop, and so for that reason it's hard to answer your question in a generalised sense.

my experience was 15+ years of alcohol abuse, that gradually grew over time until a few beers, at least a bottle of wine per night, more on the weekends became the norm. I could count on two hands the number of alcohol free days I'd had in the past 5 years and that scared the **** out of me. A few failed attempts at quitting later and I've arrived at where I am now - 24 days sober and feeling fantastic.

So for me I got to a point where if I didn't make a change things were only going to go one way. But as I said people make the resolution at different times and in different scenarios.

A lot of people struggle with the first few days, or weeks of quitting. I don't. I find weeks 3-4 hard, but it's long term abstinence which I find hard.

For whatever reason brought you to SR, the best advice I can give you is:

1) if you've not yet accepted you're an alcoholic, try it and see what happens. The sooner you can accept it the better
2) try no to judge your situation or level of drinking against others, we're all different.
3) do some reading on recovery methods and find one that suits you and roll with it
4) but most importantly understand that the most important person in this equation is you. You may well need to quit for other people or job or a bunch of other things, but do not lie to yourself. If you don't have YOU on board with recovery, you will probably fail.

Hope that makes some sort of sense. If not, keep reading around SR... You're certain to find something that you can relate to.

MikeM

Not true, honestly. Thanks for your contribution though.

Coldfusion

When I felt that I couldn't quit drinking, I checked into an in-patient detox program. They did all the thinking for me.

MikeM

Thank you, This is close to what I'm getting, It's a very short and specific answer.

This goes for everyone who has quit successfully:

What do you feel and think when there's a drink in front of you?

Just that.

sugarbear1

That was my powerlessness.....I had to really want sobriety to stay stopped!

desertsong

I make sure there is never a drink in front of me.

Dee74

I think every drinker has moments of clarity.
It's those moments of clarity you need to co-opt in order to break the cycle.

Not being able to stop once buzzed is one thing...posting here after you're already buzzed is another I think.

D

ALinNS

First thing I did was stop, went to emerg as I knew I would been Valium to stay sober, came home and for the first week fought with the AV but stayed sober, then I contacted addictions services and saw a counselor that week, took my plan, he helped put everything else in place, came here that first week just to read, started back at my old AA group, started AA online, in short went to any length to stay sober and I did. I may only be six weeks but never think about drinking because I am sticking to my plan and my life is more important than getting drunk.

In short I wanted sobriety and when I am and was this determined to achieve something, I give in at nothing. I will never look back, overconfident? No my plan is what I live by and those I love and friends benefit, while this is very important to be, somewhat critical, I quit for Andrew and I promised myself I would never pick up again.

Coldfusion

How I feel about a drink depends on whether it is the first one or not. After the first drink, I am powerless to control myself. Once I start drinking, I need to be locked up away from alcohol under the care of a doctor in order to quit.

least

It wouldn't matter to me how many drinks were in front of me - I'm not interested in drinking. I'm a non drinker now and like it that way. My life is much simpler and happier sober.

strategery

For me, it started as...
1. Wow, I shouldn't have drank that much last night. I should probably quit.

2. For many years, I didn't do anything since I would quit "tomorrow". I thought I'd quit after 5 years of drinking, then it became 10 years of drinking since I thought for sure I'd outgrow it. At 15 years, I knew I had to quit since I was realized I wasn't going to outgrow it. It was something I had to take into my own hands. I also knew if I continued, it was a matter of time before health problems began to show up due to my drinking.

3. I found SR and started to hang around here. I realized if I didn't get serious about sobriety, I was heading down the same path.

4. The next thing I did was make a sobriety plan (not so much the day to day with how to keep sober, but how to make sure I stayed on the path of getting sober). If I didn't get sober off of SR, what were the next steps I was going to take after x period of time? My goal was to get sober for a month within 3 months of trying. If I couldn't get sober, I'd then try AA. If AA didn't work after 3 months and I still couldn't get sober, I'd do intensive outpatient. I even went up to inpatient treatment.

5. I had a couple of stumbles when I first got here. After the cravings went away (~2 weeks sobriety), I decided I could drink again. I drank again, but I had to do that battle all over again and never regretted drinking so much in my life since 2 weeks worth of intense cravings was not worth 1 night of drinking. It was exhausting. That last relapse was what really solidified my sobriety and I never wanted to have to do those early days again. I now have over 14 months.