SusanE

I'm not even on the Crazy Train anymore; I'm way off the rails. My husband is messing with my head in a major way and now I'm drinking way too much, and barely eating. Last summer he was at a conference something with a skank happened. What? I don't know because his story keeps changing. He adds details but now takes them back, saying he only made them up to get me off his back. I do have an appointment with my doctor in about 10 days but this is hell. I am changing in a bit. I see that drinking only makes things worse, not better. However, know that a huge part of my life, and future, was me and my husband, laughing it around Tiki bars.

least

I hope you can get the support you need, here and elsewhere, to get sober for good. Nothing good will come of drinking.

biminiblue

The only way to sort through the problems in your marriage and your life is as a sober person.

I hope you make that decision.

sva777

I don't know of what is going to happen between you and your husband but one thing is a fact. Nothing good can come if your still drinking.

Help yourself first, stop drinking and then work the problems surrounding you.

FreeOwl

Problems...

Drinking solves none of them and magnifies all of them.

Choose sobriety. Your life will improve drastically.

Nic233

I agree with all the above- I think the drinking will have to go so that you can sort your marriage issues out. No point even trying to figure out the truth through the haze of alcohol - good luck X

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan for recovery

Thumpalumpacus

Fix yourself first.

SoberinSyracuse

Separate the two problems: drinking and a cheating husband. You can't do anything about your husband (at least not yet) but you can reclaim your health and mental acuity if you quit drinking.

Make quitting drinking your priority, and make a plan for how to resist urges to drink.

You can work on the marriage later after you're sober and strong in your own right. You can't make any headway while you're drinking.

Delilah1

I agree with everyone above. Focus on fixing you, then you can make decisions regarding your marriage with a clear head.

Fabat50

I agree with all the previous guys.

Also, you may want to rethink Tiki Bars being a part of your future until you have got on top of things.

Good luck

SusanE

Thanks, but my consumption seems to keep him alive. Look, it's not just the one indicent, that, if as he has described it, is no big problem, it's other things. He also took up with something else he's also confessed to liking. He brought it into our home into a very dishonest way. I don't want to make him out to be some horrible guy, and I'm no angel, but dang. I have some serious thinking to do.

Dee74

what does this mean Susan?

D

SusanE

It means it keeps me from killing him. Simple as that.

SusanE

I hate him, Dee. Look over my old posts. Have never lied here.

Dee74

I've read all your posts Susan - sometimes I may mix up who said what, but I read them all

Killing yourself to stop you from killing someone else sounds kind of futile Susan.
Have you considered getting out of that situation?

D

SusanE

Interesting point, Dee. I don't know why I said my husband's thing happened last summer - it was 9 1/2 years ago. I post on a site called surviving infidelity. One of their main suggestions is to avoid alcohol.What he did was wrong but it's the constant lying is what's destroying me.

Dropsie

I am worried about you.

That is a very long time to hold a grudge.

If you can't forgive him, which I understand, then you need to find another solution because it is clearly tearing you up. And drinking is NOT the answer.

SusanE

Dropsie, I didn't make myself clear. It happened 9 1/2 years ago and he gave me the G-rated version the next day. Then December 21, 2015, he blurted the truer version. The original version was so mild, it had me giggling. The more recent version, not so much. I'm still not sure what to think. However, I know that destroying myself with alcohol, will not change history. Working on that.