Wife really let me hav it tonite
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: BC
Posts: 68
Wife really let me hav it tonite
So she moved out last weekend were on a break or whatever until i get my together - not so much as a txt all week then she leaves me just dangling tonight - friday night...the absolute worry and dread and anxiety and any other flavour of negative feeling u wanna add that thos caused me was unparralleled - then finally i get a txt from her bro she was with him and is now going to her cousins place....i did not drink or smoke or anything, dumo wat else to say...hell of a stressful night
Last edited by Dee74; 01-23-2016 at 03:21 AM.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,424
I know you would have loved to have heard from you wife what - but it sounds like she's pretty serious about this break for you to get yourself together.
It's going to take more than a week or two to regain some trust bro - that's the bottom line.
what are you doing to get yourself together btw?
D
It's going to take more than a week or two to regain some trust bro - that's the bottom line.
what are you doing to get yourself together btw?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 01-23-2016 at 03:26 PM.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
My (ex-?)girlfriend is enforcing a break on me. I don't know if it's two weeks, two months, or two years. It hurts not knowing if and when she might want me back ... but I suppose too my pain is a pittance compared to how I've hurt her over the years.
The only thing we addicts can do is practice recovery whole-heartedly and be the best people we can be. She will take you back in if and when she sees fit, and you have no control over that. The only thing you can control is how you move forward.
The only thing we addicts can do is practice recovery whole-heartedly and be the best people we can be. She will take you back in if and when she sees fit, and you have no control over that. The only thing you can control is how you move forward.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Very sorry to hear that. I am a firm believer that marriages are sacred ground, and I hate to hear that anyone is having problems. I'm guessing your substance abuse is at the root of this "break"? I think people say that ultimately you have to get sober for yourself, but the potential of losing your spouse is a pretty good motivator too. It absolutely happened in my house, I can tell you that.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by thomas11 
I'm guessing your substance abuse is at the root of this "break"?
I still have a lot of feelings I have to process about it, myself.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by Anna
The best thing you can do is to stay sober.
I hope that you and your wife can communicate about the problems, but you need to stay sober.
I hope that you and your wife can communicate about the problems, but you need to stay sober.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
I'm going to give you some advice that a friend gave me when I was first trying to get clean. Get and stay sober for yourself. I can't express how important that is. If you get sober for her and not yourself, if things change, you will end up going back to your old ways.
In my case I was going to get sober for my ex-wife and kids. If I had I don't know where I would be right now, I do know that it would be a LOT worse than where I am. I won't go into detail but our divorce had to do with so much more than my using. My getting clean allowed me to see things that were right in front of my face. Just so you know, I divorced her.
As Dee said it will take time, and possibly some counseling, to get the trust back. Don't give up.
Best of luck.
In my case I was going to get sober for my ex-wife and kids. If I had I don't know where I would be right now, I do know that it would be a LOT worse than where I am. I won't go into detail but our divorce had to do with so much more than my using. My getting clean allowed me to see things that were right in front of my face. Just so you know, I divorced her.
As Dee said it will take time, and possibly some counseling, to get the trust back. Don't give up.
Best of luck.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Anna
The best thing you can do is to stay sober.
I hope that you and your wife can communicate about the problems, but you need to stay sober.
I hope that you and your wife can communicate about the problems, but you need to stay sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: BC
Posts: 68
thump thats wat seems to be happening to me too right as im starting my recovery attempt she seems to be pulling away from me and its tearing me apart - i also totally agree with the 'get sober for yourself' thing as i can see how a relapse would be imminent if it was done for a partner you end up losing anyway....it would be a guarantee infact. im not ready to lose her yet, i had an absolutely insane dream last night where i murdered her friend (i wont go into details it was unreal). maybe im suspicious/jealous and my subconscious is running away at night! lol
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Location: Dancing in the Light
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It may be that your wife is pulling away from you. That's not uncommon. The thing is no one likes change and your wife is probably wondering how you will change, how the marriage will change or will your sobriety threaten her? That's why you must focus on yourself at this point to maintain your sobriety. Of course, hopefully you two can discuss this issue, but again, focus on you.
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