Should I seek to live with someone to avoid relapse?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 33
Should I seek to live with someone to avoid relapse?
Hey there,
I'm back....Again... Just got out of hospital. Another near miss !
Anyways, I find if I am living alone my chances of relapse are HIGH.
When I was living with my former fiance it was great as she could control my addiction.
Though, we're no longer together and I'm struggling atm to maintain my sobriety.
I really do think it would make a massive difference if I lived with someone who understood / cared.
I'm interstate as my university is not anywhere family or friends.
Do you think I could find a flatmate who could help out? Anywhere I should look?
Thanks a lot,
Nick
Note: I understand a flatmate is not the cure for addiction
I am seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist, I am part a 12 step program - but, I know personally what would help a lot right now.
I'm back....Again... Just got out of hospital. Another near miss !
Anyways, I find if I am living alone my chances of relapse are HIGH.
When I was living with my former fiance it was great as she could control my addiction.
Though, we're no longer together and I'm struggling atm to maintain my sobriety.
I really do think it would make a massive difference if I lived with someone who understood / cared.
I'm interstate as my university is not anywhere family or friends.
Do you think I could find a flatmate who could help out? Anywhere I should look?
Thanks a lot,
Nick
Note: I understand a flatmate is not the cure for addiction
I am seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist, I am part a 12 step program - but, I know personally what would help a lot right now. 
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,865
Have you considered a sober living facility? You would have to maintain sobriety in order to stay there and you would be with others doing the same thing. It might be good for several months or a year until you feel more confident being on your own.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by suki44883 
Have you considered a sober living facility? You would have to maintain sobriety in order to stay there and you would be with others doing the same thing. It might be good for several months or a year until you feel more confident being on your own.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 33
Originally Posted by suki44883
Have you considered a sober living facility? You would have to maintain sobriety in order to stay there and you would be with others doing the same thing. It might be good for several months or a year until you feel more confident being on your own.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
I think asking a flatmate to help you "control your addiction" might be too much pressure for anyone and ultimately doesn't help you build self-sufficiency. However, sober living facilities sound right on!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,756
A sober living house is a good idea. I live alone and when I quit drinking I had to monitor myself. I saw a counselor for about five years and made daily visits to this site. It's kept me sober for over six years now. I hope we can help you as well. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 28
ok....i started hanging out with my now ex (whom i lost to heroin) soon after she got out of the hospital from an overdose.....
months later, looking back on our relationship, it is apparent that she used me as a shoulder/cushion as someone she could depend on after getting out of the hospital. she even once told me that this was the case
we spent a lot of time together in her recovery.
now is the time to focus on yourself. it doesnt seem healthy to "seek to live with someone to avoid relapse." you have to seek yourself to avoid relapse.
i just know that from experience......she got so close to me that she felt so comfortable with me and knew i would accept her flaws and all that she eventually relapsed
STILL
i understand that connection and bonding with others is important. keep the ones you love in contact. good luck with the sober home if that is the choice you make. stay with love. best wishes!
months later, looking back on our relationship, it is apparent that she used me as a shoulder/cushion as someone she could depend on after getting out of the hospital. she even once told me that this was the case
we spent a lot of time together in her recovery.
now is the time to focus on yourself. it doesnt seem healthy to "seek to live with someone to avoid relapse." you have to seek yourself to avoid relapse.
i just know that from experience......she got so close to me that she felt so comfortable with me and knew i would accept her flaws and all that she eventually relapsed
STILL
i understand that connection and bonding with others is important. keep the ones you love in contact. good luck with the sober home if that is the choice you make. stay with love. best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Yeah it has to come from within us. There is a bar about 200 feet from my house but I do not go there anymore and I haven't since I've been sober.
Once I decided that I was not going to drink alcohol anymore it didn't matter if the bar was there or not .
I live with my guy and he actually still drinks. He's not an alcoholic. He's a normal drinker. This hasn't had an effect on my sobriety because like I said, I do not drink alcohol anymore.
Once I decided that I was not going to drink alcohol anymore it didn't matter if the bar was there or not .
I live with my guy and he actually still drinks. He's not an alcoholic. He's a normal drinker. This hasn't had an effect on my sobriety because like I said, I do not drink alcohol anymore.
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