Struggle wanting to stop
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Struggle wanting to stop
Hi. After the holidays I felt pretty wiped out. I wanted to quit. I even went to a mtg. I felt better and boom started drinking. Have been drinking daily. Not a lot. It's just something I look forward to. Friday night I had a few pints and didn't feel safe driving. I was gonna call am uber but my friend said I looked fine. I drove. Then more drinking. I am feeling done. I don't want to live like this. I miss feeling in control. I can't seem to maintain willingness. I'm afraid of going to program and having to start all over. I'm afraid that I'll quit AA again. I'm afraid I won't stop drinking.
Take a look through this link Pressmetilihurt.
Maybe making a recovery plan will help you work out what to do next?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Maybe making a recovery plan will help you work out what to do next?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
Hi, PMTIH. Dee is so right. I'm on my third attempt to give up alcohol completely. The first two times I relapsed, at first just a few but then it slid right back into the pit. Because I didn't have a plan. The folks on here who've been sober a long time all advocate a plan, so let's copy their proven methods!
AA's a great start, but you can still build it out from there with additional tools and resources to help you make it this time. :-)
AA's a great start, but you can still build it out from there with additional tools and resources to help you make it this time. :-)
Well, I guess you answered the question you asked in your last thread.
It seems you still are pretty ambivalent about quitting Pressme,
and without that focus, it is easy to slide back into drinking.
Daily drinking isn't a good sign--and the amounts will creep up over time.
Your body adapts, and you need more to get that daily buzz.
On which floor do you want to exit in terms of addiction?
The elevator reliably goes down in my experience. . .
It seems you still are pretty ambivalent about quitting Pressme,
and without that focus, it is easy to slide back into drinking.
Daily drinking isn't a good sign--and the amounts will creep up over time.
Your body adapts, and you need more to get that daily buzz.
On which floor do you want to exit in terms of addiction?
The elevator reliably goes down in my experience. . .
You said "I'm afraid that I'll quit AA again. I'm afraid I won't stop drinking. "
Maybe you are really afraid of the opposite, that if you start AA again you will stop drinking.
Personally, I want to quit and I don't want to quit. Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a "normal" thing for people who have a problem with substance abuse.
Seems like the thing that makes a difference is not in our thinking right now but in what behavior we choose right now. I've tried an awful lot of behaviors, most of them involving willpower leading to moderation which led right back to where I was before. This time, I'm choosing to get treatment that helps me in every way possible (therapy, medication, accountability) and stick with that. And perhaps I will throw a cherry on top. I've never been a fan of AA, but actually found myself looking for meetings in my area yesterday. SMART too, but those are fewer and further between.
Maybe you are really afraid of the opposite, that if you start AA again you will stop drinking.
Personally, I want to quit and I don't want to quit. Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a "normal" thing for people who have a problem with substance abuse.
Seems like the thing that makes a difference is not in our thinking right now but in what behavior we choose right now. I've tried an awful lot of behaviors, most of them involving willpower leading to moderation which led right back to where I was before. This time, I'm choosing to get treatment that helps me in every way possible (therapy, medication, accountability) and stick with that. And perhaps I will throw a cherry on top. I've never been a fan of AA, but actually found myself looking for meetings in my area yesterday. SMART too, but those are fewer and further between.
I agree with what everyone else has said, a plan is essential for sobriety. The great thing about it is that you can create one that specifically suits you. There's only one thing that all of them have (or should have) in common: Item 1: Don't drink. Ever.
Wishing you the best.
Wishing you the best.
I have stopped several times and found that I started drinking again when I wavered and thought "I can handle moderation." I never seemed to master that skill and went right back to daily drinking and that cycle of waking up thinking "I won't drink tonight." Which lasted until I got home from work. I know for myself I needed to say I'm done with drinking, and I haven't drank anything since NYE.
It definitely takes a plan, and is not always easy, but there are people on his site who prove it can be done. I only have 18 days, but plan on being one of them on five years.:-)
It definitely takes a plan, and is not always easy, but there are people on his site who prove it can be done. I only have 18 days, but plan on being one of them on five years.:-)
Going on my own strength didn't get me far, all the good intentions and will power always came up short when dealing with my addiction.
Get a plan together, change up your routines, your habits, daily support, some real action into your life, and make Sobriety happen, you can do this!!
Get a plan together, change up your routines, your habits, daily support, some real action into your life, and make Sobriety happen, you can do this!!
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