KidsEverywhere

I've been posting here since October when I quit drinking for about five weeks, then drank a few times and now I have been drinking almost daily since the Christmas holidays. Christmas, New Years, traveling on business, etc have all been my excuses for drinking. I never get hammered, I drink 3-5 drinks a night, and get up fine the next day and I am not hungover, etc. But I think about that drink after work, at the airport, back at the hotel room, etc. compounding things is I had a physical In December and all of my numbers are better than ever. My liver AST is 17, alt is 21, Etc. I almost wish my physical came back bad to scare me into a
Change. Most of the reason I quit drinking in October was that I was concerned about what my drinking is doing to my health.
My dad is 77 and has drank all his life to the point my mom is tired of it.
It is an obsession of mine- stopping is something I'll have to commit to again.
What should I do? it isn't ruining my life or health, I'm not getting hammered, but a few drinks a night is a high priority and I want more productive things to be my priority.
Thoughts?

Dee74

I think the process is the same no matter where you are on the trajectory KE.

You make a decide for change...you commit to quitting and you follow that through with some dedicated action.

If you do what I did instead and wait until your drinking becomes unmanageable you're running the risk of losing all those things you love.

Have no doubt things will get worse.

You have a great opportunity now to get out of this not looking too bad - I;d take it

D

letitgo

I felt trapped like a slave. First a few beers a day. Then a 6 pack and so on. Then it was never a question about drinking everyday. I was going to drink. A cycle or habit. I would be hungover and unproductive everyday. Anxious to get my drinks in. I am happy to be drink free for 6 months. No obsession to drink. No remorse from abstaining. No worries i am killing my liver. I travel alot of business. 3 weeks a month. I go out with others and dd. I like drinking water vs alcohol.
Everyone has there own journey. When you are ready to quit you will. Its your life. You are shooting the craps. Good luck either way.

KidsEverywhere

Good grief that makes so much sense. I hear so much about how you have to hit bottom before making a change and that has been so scary to me because it seems like I'm a long way from rock bottom but I'm not doing what I know i should. I am hiding the drink from my wife.
Basically, it is like it is telling me: "go ahead and push your luck, idiot."

Dee74

Thats exactly it.

D

mecanix

Alcohol is a known carcinogen , alcohol will raise your blood pressure making more vulnerable to strokes and heart attacks.

The uk health service say now as of a few days ago there is no such thing as a safe amount of alcohol .

The world health organisation the W.H.O. has changed the status of alcohol , it is now a class 1 carcinogen alongside asbestos and tobacco .

Quit and stay quit i say ,

Bestwishes, m

SoberinSyracuse

Good morning (at least where I am)! Yeah, that about sums it up. You know where the drinking train is headed. Unstopped, it will make you ill, cost you everything, and eventually take your life.

I really don't believe it's true that one has to hit rock bottom. They just have to hit the point that they want it enough. For Phase 4 alcoholics, we usually have to be suffering BAD before we're ready. But other people, earlier in their progression (like you seem to be), absolutely CAN make an intelligent decision to get off the train. The recovery work is the same, but it hurts a little less.

So, I applaud you. Check out the threads about making recovery/sobriety plans. I have a good feeling that you can nip this in the bud! Please post back!

Hawkeye13

you are obsessing, and that, at its heart, is neither real moderation or freedom. . .

besides, you're just one slip-up away from being back to square one

I didn't have to lose my family, my job, or destroy my liver
to figure out I'd had enough.

I expect you will too sooner then later--too much work to moderate and hide anyway, isn't it?

Soberwolf

Rootin for you Kids

Delilah1

Hello,

Lots of great advice here already. I never hit rock bottom either, was just stuck in that cycle of having one too many glasses of wine, and then waking up feeling sluggish and not 100% the next day. Almost every morning I would think I won't drink tonight, however, after work I would come home and pour a glass of wine.

I have had stretches of sobriety since first joining SR, but at some point I kept convincing myself "you can have a glass of wine." This led to several glasses, and me back in that cycle.

I have 17 days today, and I am determined not to get myself caught back in the cycle again.

Keep reading and posting, there are lots of great people on here, and you will find a ton of support!

❤️Delilah

Obladi

I should have realized that hiding the drinking was my bottom. For a person who prides herself on being honest, this has been a major stressor in my life ever since that behavior began. Bottom/Rock-bottom: it's just a matter of degree and devastation. Had I been brutally honest with myself and taken this problem dead-serious, I would have found a way to be done with this nonsense five years ago.

This is what I wish for you because the road ahead is full of rocks and potholes and detours you'd be better off avoiding.

Good for you for recognizing something's not right and owning up to it!

D122y

Kids,

Great job on asking. We drunks love to talk about booze. I have found that normies get uncomfortable when the topic of booze comes up. Weird?

In my op...5 weeks clean...then having a few every day for a few months..... is a relapse....you are back in the hole.

The anxiety I felt at 5 weeks...~40 days...was just them beginning. My sober muscles were weak at 40 days.....

My brain needed the alcohl to quell the anxiety years of toxic poisoning had caused....my neurons were hyper aware...the world was a scary place.

Before I was educated on the brain damage booze causes...I would drink 3 to 8 a night...then stop for a few days...then start...then binge....sometimes for 8 hours...sometimes close to half liter...quarterly..or so

...pretty much a non stop roller coaster of brain altering episodes....for the drunken euphoria that lasts for about 20 minutes per drink. Then I felt bloated, tired, and weak etc etc.... It was fun for a long while...not any more...

Now, at over 8 months proud and protectively sober, the world has slowed down. I sleep deeply and restful..for the most part.... My eyes are clear. I wake up rested...usually (my work hours are odd)....but always confidently start my day.

The days of....what a tough day..I need a drink...or...wish i didnt have that last drink.....

.....are a distant memory.

I get cravings, they pass within a few seconds. They are strong but, so am I.

I am free today. On parole from my booze prison. Right?

You can have this...don't drink today...then never drink again.

Alcohol is poison. Don't believe the hype.

Thanks for posting. Great therapy for us all.

Dropsie

I can only second what others have said.

Now is so much better than later, and so much easier.

But you have to say never again, which is why so many people need to hit bottom before calling the game, but you can be smarter.

You got this, just have to take it.

PurpleKnight

I was at the "functioning" stage too before I quit, but my question is are you really living?

For me I was simply coasting on auto pilot, not reaching my potential, alcohol was putting a cap on it, and so in hindsight, was alcohol ruining my life? YES it was, as I wasn't being who I was suppose to be, not living up to who I was, my full potential as a family member, as a work colleague, as a friend!!

doggonecarl

You want to quit, but can't. That's a problem...more than what the mere few drinks a night would indicate, more than how good you feel in the morning. Maybe the same solution that helped many an alcoholic would help you too?

Dee74

Hows it going Kids?

D