stevepearce

20 days. So far it's easy not to drink, but not easy to he happy. But I've learned that this thing is going to take some time, something I wasn't aware of before Christmas. My AV is relatively quiet and I read a great line that helps me with it - "You have to bear in mind that the little bugger is a devil in sheep's clothing not the girl scout selling cookies that it sometimes seems to be."
It's all very confusing mentally but I think I'm getting myself into a place where I can honestly see that I can not drink sensibly and I can never drink again. I need to look after myself first from this point on.
I do get confused and there is some conflict in my mind about the 'I will not drink today' and the 'I'll never drink again' mindsets ?
Anyway, I will not drink today AND I never want to drink again.
Thank you guys for all your support.

venuscat

I'm so glad the AV is relatively quiet for you Steve; that's a blessing.
You're doing really well....20 days is amazing!

I really like your 'it ain't no girl scout' analogy....my AV is the Tasmanian devil you see in the cartoons, a whirling dervish that gobbles everything in its wake.

For some of us, the notion of never drinking again is difficult, hence one day at a time. Because all I need to focus on is not picking up a drink today. I can do that.

stevepearce

Thanks venucat. Yes I guess I will not drink today is good enough and then maybe at some point I will never drink again will happen.

PurpleKnight

Sounds like a great perspective Steve, great job on 20 Days!!

stevepearce

Thanks Purpleknight.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 20 Steve

stevepearce

Thanks Soberwolf.

OpenTuning

Well done on 20 days. Fantastic.

In terms of mindsets, I liked the idea that whatever way you put it, saying you've quit forever, or one day at a time, all you can actually do in practice is to not drink right now. As long as you've said to yourself "I don't drink" and you don't drink right now, you'll never drink again. Because it's always now.

Where the trouble starts, I think, is when you've deliberately left a door open that you can drink again at some point in the future. Where instead of saying to yourself "I don't drink" you're really thinking "I'm taking a break from drinking". Because inevitably, I think, you'll eventually decide "well, since I'm allowing myself to drink again some day, I might as well do that now".

least

Congrats on 20 days sober!

JohnQPublic

That's great!!! I wish you the best. I really like how you said sober today and never WANT to drink again. That's the way I know that's how I want to live feel but really try to focus on each day, sometimes hour. Very happy for you. John

stevepearce

Thanks guys. I've just woken up and these comments have helped set me up for another day of not drinking.

stevepearce

Oh, and I DONT DRINK ! '

mecanix

For me there was great relief in never drinking again , quite a difficult decision ..

then my mind played the "what if " any calamity , illness or problem , game .

I deal with and live my life one day at a time , i believe it's served up in day sized chunks because thats what this body and brain can deal with . I try not to project too far into the future and neither dwell in the past .

keep on , m

Dropsie

SP,

Great job -- 20 days is great.

I find the never again part the most difficult and the most liberating at the same time if you see what I mean.

Good luck on the next 20/200/2000/20000....

stevepearce

Thanks mecanix, dropsie.

blueberry2015

Congrats on 20 days thats amazing! Alas sobriety is a tad confusing at first, your adopting the right attitude by living in the day, helps loads. Keep sober, your doing great!

stevepearce

Thx blueberry.