Meeting Questions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 72
Meeting Questions
Hi everyone. I will try to keep this short but I have a lot of questions.
I'm considering going to a meeting. I have not drank in 6 days and I'd like it to stay that way. But would I be accepted at AA if I am not sure I am an alcoholic? Will I find people there like me that are unsure but would like to stop drinking regardless? I do not suffer withdrawals, I don't drink daily, I've never had a DWI etc. i want to give up drinking because of what happens to me when I do drink and lose control.
Do I have to talk and introduce myself etc? Will people judge me for not having the same experiences or reasons they do for being there? Will people think I'm overreacting and should not be there? Do meetings generally have a lot of people or just a few? I have been to Alanon before and there were only a few people in attendance.
Any input would be appreciated!
I'm considering going to a meeting. I have not drank in 6 days and I'd like it to stay that way. But would I be accepted at AA if I am not sure I am an alcoholic? Will I find people there like me that are unsure but would like to stop drinking regardless? I do not suffer withdrawals, I don't drink daily, I've never had a DWI etc. i want to give up drinking because of what happens to me when I do drink and lose control.
Do I have to talk and introduce myself etc? Will people judge me for not having the same experiences or reasons they do for being there? Will people think I'm overreacting and should not be there? Do meetings generally have a lot of people or just a few? I have been to Alanon before and there were only a few people in attendance.
Any input would be appreciated!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Columbia, Maryland
Posts: 93
I am an alcoholic and an addict. At the first AA meeting that I went to, I said, "I think that I might have a drinking problem." They accepted me with open arms. They told me, "if you think that you have a drinking problem, then you most likely have one." They told me, "keep coming back." Don't worry if your experience isn't the same as others. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Utah
Posts: 214
Pretty much what they said. Unless its a super small meeting, theyll ask you to introduce yourself get a newcomer chip. Nothing mayjor. You can share or not its totally on you. And Im sure you will relate to people.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 579
But would I be accepted at AA if I am not sure I am an alcoholic? Yes, many people feel that way at first. All that is required is a desire to stop drinking.
Will I find people there like me that are unsure but would like to stop drinking regardless? Yes. I told an old Marine with 16 years sober I could stop drinking after one or two. He offered me $5 to buy my first drink and pointed me to a bar. That's what I call helpful
Do I have to talk and introduce myself etc? No. If you Speaker Meeting only the Speaker talks. Look or call the AA groups for a Speaker Meeting. If you go to a closed meeting just say "I'm visiting" they will move on. Open meetings usually you don't have to say anything but some smaller ones you might say "I'm visiting" they will move on.
Will people judge me for not having the same experiences or reasons they do for being there? No, but if you listen you will hear some of your experiences or reasons for being there. I guarantee it. I never drank a quart a day or everyday for that matter.
Will people think I'm overreacting and should not be there? No, they will be friendly and helpful if you have any questions. You can ask questions after the meeting if you hear or see someone you like/respect.
Do meetings generally have a lot of people or just a few? Depends on the meeting. Usually Friday night or Speaker meeting have more people. It's full up just after New Year then tapers-I wonder why?
Best Wishes
Will I find people there like me that are unsure but would like to stop drinking regardless? Yes. I told an old Marine with 16 years sober I could stop drinking after one or two. He offered me $5 to buy my first drink and pointed me to a bar. That's what I call helpful
Do I have to talk and introduce myself etc? No. If you Speaker Meeting only the Speaker talks. Look or call the AA groups for a Speaker Meeting. If you go to a closed meeting just say "I'm visiting" they will move on. Open meetings usually you don't have to say anything but some smaller ones you might say "I'm visiting" they will move on.
Will people judge me for not having the same experiences or reasons they do for being there? No, but if you listen you will hear some of your experiences or reasons for being there. I guarantee it. I never drank a quart a day or everyday for that matter.
Will people think I'm overreacting and should not be there? No, they will be friendly and helpful if you have any questions. You can ask questions after the meeting if you hear or see someone you like/respect.
Do meetings generally have a lot of people or just a few? Depends on the meeting. Usually Friday night or Speaker meeting have more people. It's full up just after New Year then tapers-I wonder why?
Best Wishes
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I think when it comes to any form of support, just like here on SR, there are going to be people at different places in their journey as well as different stages of alcoholism, it's the nature of addiction.
There's a whole range of people here on SR, and in real life face to face support it will probably be similar.
I'd say go for it, what's the worst that can happen, you may be surprised!!
There's a whole range of people here on SR, and in real life face to face support it will probably be similar.
I'd say go for it, what's the worst that can happen, you may be surprised!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
You would in my experience be welcomed with open arms, you don't need to label yourself to attend meetings or even join a group, if alcohol made your life unmanageable and you want help, that is where AA comes in as well as many other resources.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
When you go listen for the similarities that you have with what people say and not the differences. Sometimes they may be subtle but there are similarities. The worst thing you could do is go in there and listen and say "I didn't do this or that and nothing that bad so I may not really have a problem". I can remember thinking that since I didn't have bad physical withdrawals that maybe I wasn't that bad.
You won't have to say anything or even pick up a desire chip if you don't want to. A desire chip means you want to try sobriety. Some groups give them and some don't.
If you do go and find the first meeting you go to doesn't click I would suggest going to at least a couple of more different meetings. Around here they vary on the crowd and quality.
Everyone there at some point has been in your shoes. The only thing they want is to see anyone who has had issues with alcohol get better.
Best wishes.
You won't have to say anything or even pick up a desire chip if you don't want to. A desire chip means you want to try sobriety. Some groups give them and some don't.
If you do go and find the first meeting you go to doesn't click I would suggest going to at least a couple of more different meetings. Around here they vary on the crowd and quality.
Everyone there at some point has been in your shoes. The only thing they want is to see anyone who has had issues with alcohol get better.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 324
In AA, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. You do not have to say a word if you do not want to. Usually they ask if there are any newcomers who would like to introduce themselves. If you do not want to, don't. There are no rules beyond the one.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 600
[QUOTE=HopePeace;5739854] First, congrats on not drinking for 6 days. :-) You most certainly would be accepted at AA because the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Usually folks who figure out they're not alcoholics but are hard drinkers will quit AA because they don't need it. But if you go to meetings and identify and figure out that yes you are an alcoholic, then you'll probably stay.
True, many people in AA have had DWIs, drink daily, or suffer withdrawals. But not everyone. Some had high bottoms or are high functioning alcoholics. If you can't stop, or stay stopped, if you have physical cravings once alcohol is in your body for more, if you have a mental obsession to drink, then you are probably an alcoholic. Note that these things don't have to occur all the time. I know one long timer who told me he controlled his drinking for years.
No. You can just say "Pass". You don't even have to say your name. No one will judge you. Everyone has different experiences, although some have similar ones. What it all comes down to, is if you want to stop with every cell of your being, you can't stop, and you can't figure out why you can't stop, and no human being can help you stop, then you're probably an alcoholic. Everyone will have this, but the stories/experiences may differ.
No one will ever think you're overreacting, and if they do, then they are still very spiritually sick.
Some meetings are small. Some are large. I've been to meetings with just 6 people and I've been to meetings with 80 people. It shouldn't matter. You're there to get well.
You may want to try to find a Beginner's meeting.
If you've been to Alanon before, then you'll see that AA meetings run similarly.
Don't worry. Find the courage to walk through that door. You'll likely figure out quickly if you belong or not after a few meetings.
I'm considering going to a meeting. I have not drank in 6 days and I'd like it to stay that way. But would I be accepted at AA if I am not sure I am an alcoholic? Will I find people there like me that are unsure but would like to stop drinking regardless? I do not suffer withdrawals, I don't drink daily, I've never had a DWI etc. i want to give up drinking because of what happens to me when I do drink and lose control.
True, many people in AA have had DWIs, drink daily, or suffer withdrawals. But not everyone. Some had high bottoms or are high functioning alcoholics. If you can't stop, or stay stopped, if you have physical cravings once alcohol is in your body for more, if you have a mental obsession to drink, then you are probably an alcoholic. Note that these things don't have to occur all the time. I know one long timer who told me he controlled his drinking for years.
Do I have to talk and introduce myself etc? Will people judge me for not having the same experiences or reasons they do for being there? Will people think I'm overreacting and should not be there? Do meetings generally have a lot of people or just a few? I have been to Alanon before and there were only a few people in attendance.
No one will ever think you're overreacting, and if they do, then they are still very spiritually sick.
Some meetings are small. Some are large. I've been to meetings with just 6 people and I've been to meetings with 80 people. It shouldn't matter. You're there to get well.
You may want to try to find a Beginner's meeting.
If you've been to Alanon before, then you'll see that AA meetings run similarly.
Don't worry. Find the courage to walk through that door. You'll likely figure out quickly if you belong or not after a few meetings.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
HopePeace,
yes, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
requirement for membership.
you do not need to be or want to be a member in order to attend a meeting. attending meetings and being a member of an AA group are actually different things.
as long as you go to an "open" meeting, you can just be anyone and exactly who you are without knowing or labeling or deciding about the "alcoholic" part.
as far as what others will think...yeah, some might think you're overreacting. or that you don't belong. or that you're in denial. or that you would look better if you dyed your hair green. or blue, if it's already green.
what i'm saying is: you have no control over what others may or may not think. what matters here is that you want to stop drinking and want the help that's available.
any people in AA who will judge you have a "program" available to them to work on that
just go. find out. go several times. and then YOU decide if you belong.
yes, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
requirement for membership.
you do not need to be or want to be a member in order to attend a meeting. attending meetings and being a member of an AA group are actually different things.
as long as you go to an "open" meeting, you can just be anyone and exactly who you are without knowing or labeling or deciding about the "alcoholic" part.
as far as what others will think...yeah, some might think you're overreacting. or that you don't belong. or that you're in denial. or that you would look better if you dyed your hair green. or blue, if it's already green.
what i'm saying is: you have no control over what others may or may not think. what matters here is that you want to stop drinking and want the help that's available.
any people in AA who will judge you have a "program" available to them to work on that
just go. find out. go several times. and then YOU decide if you belong.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 166
Dear Hope, as lots have already told you the only requirement is the desire to stop drinking. You don't have to share if you don't want to. Lots of people who are new in recovery just say they would like to listen today and I have never seen someone pressured to talk. There are big and small groups and all kind of specific groups in between. I bet if you really look you can find one that fits you just right. Plus you have this site, which is not all that different than an open meeting anyway. Best of luck. John
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
This is the AA preamble for meetings...
The Alcoholics Anonymous Preamble
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
As others have said, and as is stated in the preamble, 'the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking'.
I went along the first time wondering if I'd be turned away / told I wasn't a 'proper' alcoholic as I didn't drink every day, etc. etc. I wasn't turned away. I stayed. I listened. I related and learned from others' experience. I gained hope and strength from people in the fellowship who seemed happy and strong in their sobriety. I got a sponsor. I got some amazing sober friends. I worked the steps, and I am now happier than ever in my adult life (at 43), and am now 22 months sober.
This AA malarky really does change lives.
The Alcoholics Anonymous Preamble
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
As others have said, and as is stated in the preamble, 'the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking'.
I went along the first time wondering if I'd be turned away / told I wasn't a 'proper' alcoholic as I didn't drink every day, etc. etc. I wasn't turned away. I stayed. I listened. I related and learned from others' experience. I gained hope and strength from people in the fellowship who seemed happy and strong in their sobriety. I got a sponsor. I got some amazing sober friends. I worked the steps, and I am now happier than ever in my adult life (at 43), and am now 22 months sober.
This AA malarky really does change lives.
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