lizardbeth

I'm so lost. I've wasted my resources, they're tired of hearing about my problems. I don't blame them....I'm sick of it, too. I've drank away the majority of my adult life. I think about every major event that's occurred in my life and I can tell you what I was drinking at the time....my problem has become more than my own problem. My significant other, whom I have 2 children with, is an addict as well. In the past 6 months, he has become an entirely different person. He degrades me, talks negatively about me and to me. He says my drinking is "our" issue. However, when it comes down to it, he is my ultimate enabler. We have different demons, but he had expressed that my drinking is the number one issue. So, while I attempt recovery, I am coddled until he wants his next fix, and before you know it, he is picking me up whiskey so he can venture out and do whatever he pleases. Then I am left alone with my children, catching a minimal buzz, enough in his mind to pacify things...until the next day. Then he belittles me, calls me a drunk, tells me he doesn't want to be with me. And the cycle continues. The guilt that I have about my drinking is enormous. The degradation that I face from him trumps everything I feel. I drink because of him. Or so I hope. I have no where to turn at this point. I have plenty of friends, but I'm cognizant enough to realize that I can't come to them with my problems anymore. I just need a safe place to vent. I love this group because of that. Just as an afterthought, there is no doubt that I have a problem with alcohol. I might even be bold enough to announce that I know I am an alcoholic. I just need some ******* support.

C23

We are here for you. I for one couldnt imagine quitting drinking without the support of my wife. Understand how strong you are to recognize a problem and seek out help and a solution. You will have to make some pretty hard decisions, but know that you have a bunch of people here to support you. Good luck and keep us updated.

GroundhogDay

Lizardbeth, are you dependent on your significant other for financial support?

suicideseason

I feel yah. We got your back like a bra-strap.

WaveTossed

I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I think that you need to find a way to leave him. You can't change him. You can only change yourself. I would check out a local social work or mental health/addiction agency in your community to find out how you can get help. You are not alone.

Delilah1

is it possible for you and your children to stay with family or friends for a bit?

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back to SR. That sounds very difficult. Can you take steps to gain some independence for you and your children. Being in an abusive relationship is not good

Dee74

Hi lizardbeth

I'm sorry for what brings you here, but this is a great safe place for support and understanding.

As long as your current situation is not dangerous, I really think you need to focus on your recovery for now - get sober, stay that way, and then you can look at the rest of your life?

D

chrcarlson

AA is a good place to talk about your problems so is this board.

loulou1981

Sounds like ur having a tough time, the main question is, do u want to get sober????
If the answer is yes, do u feel u can do it whilst in a relationship with another addict. I'm not sure i could.
How old r ur children? Do u have anywhere u could go or is leaving not an option?x

PurpleKnight

Hey Lizardbeth, SR is in your corner, lean on us and post when you need to!!

least

I would suggest using this site more. Post before you drink. There's a lot of support here. Take advantage of it.

Soberwolf

lean on us

SoberinSyracuse

My thoughts are with you. Can you get away just for a short while, just to sort things out and figure out your path forward?

FreeOwl

Welcome.

I'm not sure I heard you say 'I want sobriety and am ready to do whatever it takes'.

It sounds like you're up against a lot, but if you're ready to make that statement and choose it with all you've got - then your life can and will change for the better.

Anna

I am so very, very sorry that you are living with verbal and emotional abuse. To be honest, I think getting out of your living situation would be the best thing you can do. You do not have to live in such a situation. I don't know if you're in the US but, if so:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support (US)

If not, let me know and I will quickly send you Domestic Abuse information for other countries.

MariahGayle

Glad you are here Beth, making the decision to cut alcohol from your life is one you will never regret! Take it one day at a time & be kind to yourself

Fly N Buy

SR is great - glad you're posting. I find a lot of support both here and in the rooms.......

keep coming back!