Quitting sober January!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 37
Quitting sober January!!
Need major encouragement right now. My mom and I pledged a "Banuary" this month - as far as she knows I just wanted a healthy detox and it is all in good fun. These last couple weeks, it has been so helpful knowing that I'm doing this for/with my mom (just focusing on this month has made my sober days/nights less daunting.)
Well, she just called me, laughing, to tell me she had broken her Banuary - it is my dad and aunt's birthday and they are out to dinner. She also admitted she planned on drinking this weekend and a charity auction. Oh, well, no big deal! -in her eyes. I do NOT blame her. To her, this was a fun game.
To me, this is killer. She broke her pledge, why not break mine? Just tonight, just a couple glasses of wine. I've been tired, too tired to work out today. Happiness from sobriety is wearing off.
Just a couple glasses. I'm really really considering it.
Well, she just called me, laughing, to tell me she had broken her Banuary - it is my dad and aunt's birthday and they are out to dinner. She also admitted she planned on drinking this weekend and a charity auction. Oh, well, no big deal! -in her eyes. I do NOT blame her. To her, this was a fun game.
To me, this is killer. She broke her pledge, why not break mine? Just tonight, just a couple glasses of wine. I've been tired, too tired to work out today. Happiness from sobriety is wearing off.
Just a couple glasses. I'm really really considering it.
She broke her pledge, why not break mine?
We all want to be that normal guy or girl...but we're just not.
Just a couple glasses. I'm really really considering it.
I took 'a night off' in 2004 to drink after being sober a little while...I was 'out' drinking for another 2 and a half years...non stop.
The stakes are a lot higher than one night and those mythical two glassses of wine.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
If the two of you had pledged not to leap to your deaths off a high bridge, and then she did, would you think it wise for you to do so as well?
No, you're no leming. You got this.
No, you're no leming. You got this.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Forgive me but for some reason I am reminded of that ole standby motherly advice "if so and so went and jumped off the bridge, would you?". I certainly understand how the combination of your ma's broken commitment and your excessive tiredness contributes to a bit of a "well what the hell"kinda feeling.
But why? Since you note a January commitment of no alcohol....why not keep it? Why not do yourself proud by keeping the promise to you, yourself. Good feelings abound when we keep our own word to ourselves...and others. Press on my friend...press on. Reassess whatever it is you are doing when you have kept your promise to yourself. This is YOUR word we are talking bout here...your ma needs to reconcile herself to her own.
But why? Since you note a January commitment of no alcohol....why not keep it? Why not do yourself proud by keeping the promise to you, yourself. Good feelings abound when we keep our own word to ourselves...and others. Press on my friend...press on. Reassess whatever it is you are doing when you have kept your promise to yourself. This is YOUR word we are talking bout here...your ma needs to reconcile herself to her own.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 166
I feel that your mothers pledge breaking is hard. Remember that we cannot let others actions be justification for what we do. Your mom can drink but if you don't want to you don't have to. It sounds a lot like a good AV using something to tempt you into drinking. Come back for support no matter what happens. Best of luck, John.
Good for you for choosing a natural high! It is not easy, I have made the mistake of thinking "Screw it, today has been stressful, what is the harm in having a few glasses of wine?" The problem for me is I then find myself thinking that every day.
Hope to see you on here later!:-)
Hope to see you on here later!:-)
Your Mom is doing her own thing and has no bearing on 'Your' goals, needs and wants.
You're doing great!
Seep - be proud of yourself for making the right decision. It's easy to cave, especially in the early days of quitting. We grow stronger every time we get over one of these hurdles.
This is the problem with sobriety pacts. when 1 has a drink the other thinks they 'deserve' one too
Maybe your mum doesn't have a problem, maybe she just fancied a drink and will be fine, maybe it doesn't really matter?
The only thing that matters is you and why you are getting sober. Your sobriety is not dependent on hers. Just concentrate on yourself. Well done for not giving in
Maybe your mum doesn't have a problem, maybe she just fancied a drink and will be fine, maybe it doesn't really matter?
The only thing that matters is you and why you are getting sober. Your sobriety is not dependent on hers. Just concentrate on yourself. Well done for not giving in
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