"detachment" question
imnotcrazyimjustalittleun well
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: nowhere
Posts: 9
"detachment" question
okay, so this may seem like a silly question but....
i am reading this acoa book and in a chapter called "recovery hints" it tells me that i have to learn how to "detach" from my mom and that the process could take 6 months to a year. for starters i don't know what action the book is suggesting i take. secondly....reading that sentence as i wrote it just now scares me to death. i don't know what it means to detach from my mom but it doesn't sound like something i want to do. my mom has been sober for about 5 years and she is my best friend. we were seperated for awhile when i was a kid...that's a rather long story... but i am sure it has increased my fear of being without my mother. i do however want to recover so can anybody give me some suggestions?
thanks guys
i am reading this acoa book and in a chapter called "recovery hints" it tells me that i have to learn how to "detach" from my mom and that the process could take 6 months to a year. for starters i don't know what action the book is suggesting i take. secondly....reading that sentence as i wrote it just now scares me to death. i don't know what it means to detach from my mom but it doesn't sound like something i want to do. my mom has been sober for about 5 years and she is my best friend. we were seperated for awhile when i was a kid...that's a rather long story... but i am sure it has increased my fear of being without my mother. i do however want to recover so can anybody give me some suggestions?
thanks guys
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
Hey ah,
Detachment isn't as scary as it sounds. It doesn't mean leave, or push away. Detachment for us anons is about learning to live and let live. When we begin recovery, we don't know what is and isn't our responsibility to change. Learning that helps us to detach from the things that others are responsible for. That is a process and it takes time.
Part of our struggle is that we desire to "fix" things for other people. In the process, we lose the ability to take care of ourself. Focussing on learning to care for and love ourself allows us to detach.
If the word scares you, you don't have to use it. Remember, "Take what you like and leave the rest." It may be something that you decide to take on later. No time limits on recovery. Move forward with the things that you can handle. Hugs, Magic
Detachment isn't as scary as it sounds. It doesn't mean leave, or push away. Detachment for us anons is about learning to live and let live. When we begin recovery, we don't know what is and isn't our responsibility to change. Learning that helps us to detach from the things that others are responsible for. That is a process and it takes time.
Part of our struggle is that we desire to "fix" things for other people. In the process, we lose the ability to take care of ourself. Focussing on learning to care for and love ourself allows us to detach.
If the word scares you, you don't have to use it. Remember, "Take what you like and leave the rest." It may be something that you decide to take on later. No time limits on recovery. Move forward with the things that you can handle. Hugs, Magic
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 81
My mom as been sober for about 4 or 5 years, too. I faced the challenge of detaching, also. Even when she stopped drinking, I found myself "unhealthly" attached. I would spend my free time doing things with her and for her and nothing for me. That made me angry. I love my mother but I began to realize that I needed to seperate my life from her's.
Not sure if this helps. I just thought I would share my experience.
Not sure if this helps. I just thought I would share my experience.
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