Mimi2180

Hi there , I am new to this but would like to share my story and talks little bit about why I decided to join this websit. I have a problem...I got myself addicted to oxys n have not been able to get off of them due to the horrible withdrawals!!! The longest iv gone is 3 days n after that I end up buying more oxys with the intend of winning down but end up getting hooked on them again... I'm afraid to seek medical help from my dr because I don't think he is capable of prescribing me the right meds to help me with the withdrawals n then I think he would have to refer me to a specialist in which will be extremely expensive.. I wish I can turn time n never have gotten hooked on this stuff like I did.. I brought this to myself n now I don't know how to get out. I'm afraid to discuss this with my husband n my family for support because I feel ashamed of what they will think of me... I have enjoyed reading all of you alls posts n would love to hear your recommendations and or advice. I am 33 yrs old have 4 beautiful children live a normal life "so everyone thinks " but this is a really dark secret that I have been struggling with all by myself for a very long time n I don't want to reveal so I need help!! The minute I try to stop I start getting really weak, sweating up the a**e , mood swings n tons of anxiety in which I cannot have when I'm trying to run a household of young kids n a husband!! I'm in desperate help any advice is appreciated!!! Thank you in advance

suicideseason

I can relate to not wanting to talk to doctors myself for whatever reason. Specialist could be expensive but unless youre getting those pills wholesale Im sure your habit isnt any cheaper. I would find someone you trust I guess, or do it the hard way and deal with it as best you can, which sounds like youll just maybe use. So maybe talk to your husband? Pills get pretty bad.. Goodluck mimi

Dharma33

Hi, Mimi-

Welcome to SR! I'm sorry for what brings you here but this is a very supportive place.

I'm very glad you are reaching out and want to end the cycle of addiction.

It's understandable to be hesitant about talking to your doctor; it's a big step admitting we have a problem. Please see your doctor though and be honest about how much you are using so he/she can help you safely withdraw. As you said, you try to taper yourself but it isn't working.

I don't have personal experience with pills, but as an alcoholic in recovery I can promise being a sober mom is amazing. And, managing the household becomes much easier without a hangover or withdrawals!

Soberwolf

Welcome Mimi

ALinNS

I have no experience in drugs other than speaking to others in Detox, I am not sure how they do it where you live but here Addiction Services has an inpatient program to help you through the tough part (Detox) then an out patient program, I know they give you a synthetic drug to ease the withdraw ( Methadone?).

It may be something worth looking into to help you get through this phase which I have been told can be dangerous for a host of health reasons.

Wishing you the best

Andrew

JD

I'd recommend going to your dr. Dr's are generally very understanding of addiction issues. They don't judge you and can be helpful. And, unfortunately, addiction to oxy is far too common these days.

aasharon90

My drug of choice was alcohol. Deadly enough
in itself as it tried to claim me 25 yrs ago. It was
thru a family intervention where my husband
and his folks seeking information and help as
to where they could send me to help me when
I reach my lowest of lows in my addiction.

Of course they and I had no idea that alcohol
was the culprit but it was enough warning to
get me help when I was no longer capable of
controlling my alcohol intake.

The first night I spent in a rehab facility
to be tested for my state of mind. To see why
I wanted to end my life when others never
saw me with a problem and having so much
to live for. Especailly with 2 loveable adorable,
smart kids and a husband of 8 yrs.

I did pass all the mental tests with the
results of having a drinking problem. From
there I stayed there in the addiction
rehab facility to clear the toxins from my
system and learn about my addiction and
its affects on me and those around me.

I completed a 28 day instay leaving my
little one in the hands of my family so I
could concentrate on my own recovery.
No one died and everyone was well cared
for.

Sure I was worried at first as to who would
take care of my babies while I was away
because I was the stay at home mom rearing
them day after day.

Then I thought, who would take care of
them if I had actually died. So it had to be
my time to take care of me to get better,
get healthy and get real about my addiction.

I was taught about my addiction and was
given a program of recovery, a treatable
solution to my addiction problem that I
could live with and incorporate in all areas
of my life.

28 days with a 6 week outpatient after
care program to continue on with my
recovery was the best opportunity to
begin a new life, learning how to lighten
the heavy baggage of the past I had been
carrying on my shoulders for a good while.

Today, I can reflect on that time in my
life and can honesty share that my family
gave me the gift of a lifetime. They did for
me 25 yrs ago what I certainly couldn't do
for myself. To get the help I needed to break
free from the bondage of addiction.

It has been a journey and a learning process
thru the many one days at a time sober to get
me where I am today. Healthy, happy and
honest in all my affair.

My 2 little ones are grown, colleged degreed,
career, family oriented and living healthy, happy
lives with no addictions. What an awesome gift..!!!

Take this time for you to get well and
learn a recovery program so that you
can enjoy the many gifts in life that await
you each day you are clean and sober.

Mimi2180

Thank you all for your thoughts n words of advice, I will consider outpatient treatment n will start looking for one here locally hopefully I will find one close enough to come n go. I'm ready n I have been ready I'm just not looking forward to the withdrawals it's the worst feeling ever. But it's gotta happen I just recently received blood work results and my liver enzymes came back 3 X the normal limit n boy was that an eye opener. Going to DR to get further testing n praying it's not a damaged liver because if it is it's the result of my addiction. Thank you all I'll keep you posted!!

Upward2Enlightenment

Hi Mimi.

I know what you are going through. I had a MAJOR oxy addiction. I strongly recommend you talk to your doctor about it and be honest about your usage. I totally understand how embarrassing it will be.
You almost made it through the worst of the withdrawal, another one to three days and you would have been clear.

*Now this is just my opinion* I would try and avoid getting on methadone or suboxone. It is just another drug that you can get addicted to, I've seen it first hand. However, a doctor will be better able to determine if you should have it, just voice your concerns to them.

About your liver, the good news is that as long as it's not too damaged it can heal itself over time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.