stillsleeping

I don't know how to find myself again. I feel like I've fractured into so many parts I don't even know which one to rebuild.

ALinNS

Maybe, because I am not totally sure I understand, one area at a time. For me exercise as it makes me stronger and the stronger Andrew is the easier it is to work on other areas of my life that are broken. I simply made a list, no specific order and pick away at it every day.

Maybe if you could give us a little more insight we can offer better suggestions.

All the best
Andrew

stillsleeping

Thanks Andrew @ALinNS (does @ work here? It's been so long...) It's really good to hear from you.

I guess the short insight would be that I was a coke-abusing alcoholic who got sober then relapsed. And I guess the fact that I'm telling you that here gives me all the answers that I need. **** I miss being sober...

xx

ALinNS

Thank you, any ideas on how to get there or how we can help you? I am an alcoholic, never used drugs so my knowledge is at the very short end of the stick, I only know what I learned from friends in detox and NA, we I prefer NA over AA and always have. I also give a young lady a drive to a meeting on Thursdays and always come away grateful.

I know zero about coke and what you might be going through, I do wish I could offer words of wisdom

Stay close, I am sure some of the others will have great suggestions, but I can say I am glad you are here.

stillsleeping

Hey Andrew,
I guess my best idea about how to help me is to do just what you did - reach out. Can't tell you how grateful I am.
It's just booze these days btw, so I'm still at your end of the stick
How come you cleaned up? xx

Upward2Enlightenment

There are plenty of people here who would be happy to help you.

least

I saw a counselor for several years and it helped a lot, not just in staying sober, but in all areas of my life. Is counseling an option for you?

Dee74

hi and welcome back StillSleeping

you seemed to do pretty well when you were a regular poster here - why not try that again?

I wasn't able to work out anything work a damn until I got clean and sober - thinking was like pulling taffy, y'know?

D

ALinNS

Thank you, I am a binge closet drinker, I had an amazing summer having found what is now the love of my life I think the world of (I am 51 so finding someone at this age is not always easy) anyhow she was not aware I am an alcoholic and she simply doesn't drink, while away at a conference in Nov I relapsed, overconfident and stopped following my plan. It was a terrible one month binge, ruined my Christmas, my two kids (young adults and I was a single parent) would not have anything to do with me, my girlfriend was baffled why I didn't tell her and walked away, I was in short beyond out of control, in and out of emerg five times trying to get help, then detox but they could only keep me three days, short of it was a doc in emerge here from Australia took some time to talk to me, he said you have PTSD don't you and I said yes I was told that three years ago but stopped treatment, he asked what about the medication, I said I do not take any, so he put me on something used to treat people with PTSD, and booked an appointment with a specialist that deals with this area and addictions.

I love life and I really mean that, this relapse took everything this time including my career, I was sick of this sickness and now had the time to give it 110% and out of my life. I hate the drunk Andrew, I really do, I hate loosing control, I hate hurting people, hate lying, hate hiding booze everywhere, I am in control not the AV and it is now where it belongs.

My better half and I are very big in hiking, kayak, canoeing, skating, snowshoeing, that was all gone overnight over one drink that I could not control. The good news is she took me back New Years eve after a five hour conversation wherein I told her everything, my attitude I had nothing to loose and everything to gain being honest and lying it all out.

That in a nut shell is what brought me back, I had to bottom out and almost loose my life as that is what my AV wants and it's not going to happen.

Thanks for listening.
Andrew

Jeni26

Hey you!!! I was going to text you on New Year's Day, oh I wish I had now....

Get in touch, let's meet up. I relapsed last Christmas too, been sober 9 months again now. It was really difficult the second time around.

Love you girl ❤️❤️❤️ Xxx

Anna

I'm glad you're back and I know you will find your way. It takes some time and patience, but we're here for you.

loulou1981

Hey, we're all here for u. Keep posting!x

ccam1973

Welcome back Stillsleeping. Sorry you found yourself in these circumstances recently, but you have the power to make this change.

Stick close to SR or any other source for recovery that works for you. We are here for each other!

Soberwolf

StillSleeping

KellyToronto

We all missed you!

Do you still run along the English Channel?

Are you still teaching?

Kelly

SoberinSyracuse

I'm going to be in the same boat as you. I drank for so long that there's literally no area of my life that is intact. I agree with the advice above to take things "one area at a time."

It's like an elephant. We'll eat it one bite at a time.

I recently did an exercise where I thought of every situation in which I used to drink, and then filled in an activity I could do instead. Maybe you could try something like that?

Keep on trying til you succeed!

LDT

I'm here too, my dear friend ..... Let me help you. You got sober before, and you'll get sober again. It's good you posted. Love you. Text me.

RevivingOphelia

(((StillSleeping)))

I have thought of you SO often and missed your words and spirit around here. Please stay around and get the support you need. I'm sorry you're struggling, but good for you for coming back here and reaching out. Take the time you need to find yourself again. You can do this.

P.S. Are you still teaching?

SoberLife90

Keep coming around here. You should consider going to some AA meetings. I can't think of a better place for an alcoholic life myself.

JohnQPublic

Keep coming here. Post when you are going to break down and use. I know in the beginning or after a relapse the weight of starting over can feel like too much. Just focus on staying sober tomorrow and go from there.
Sending you admiration and hope. John