C23

Ok. Anyone on here that is a hockey fan knows that hockey games are a place where people consume a lot of beer. I am an avid hockey fan and have season tickets.

I took 2 friends of mine to the game last night and one of them was hammered. It was interesting to say the least. She asked me multiple times if I wanted anything to drink, non-alcoholic every time she went to get another beer. She asked me if I ever thought I would drink again and my answer was "hope not. It would be a shame to throw all this work away!" She bought a pretzel and kept trying to get me to eat some. When I declined, she said "so I know you quit drinking but are you quitting gluten know too?" I know she was drunk and most likely kidding, but I think it is funny that a lot of people don't really know how to act around someone when that person doesn't drink and they do. Maybe most of the people I run into don't have any practice because everyone they know drinks. Her last interesting question was "is it really annoying hanging out with drunk people?" I told her no, but it really is. The slurring words, the mindless comments, the pointless conversations are all pretty annoying. I love my friends and since I am not tempted to drink around them I still want to hang out with them, but it is pretty trying sometimes. Does anyone who else experience this? Does anyone have any advice or tips on how to deal with these people or situations?

Anna

It sounds like you're doing well.

I wasn't able to be around people drinking alcohol for most of the first year of my recovery. Do you have friends who don't drink who are hockey fans and would go with you to a game?

C23

I usually just go with my kids. This was a situation where they had events planned already. I was more asking for other situations, parties, bbqs, etc. The mantra I keep telling myself is "if I can't stay sober sitting across from someone who is drinking, I am probably not ready to be sober." I guess I am just someone who pushes themselves as hard as I can.

biminiblue

I excuse myself from conversations with drunk people, for that very reason.

At parties, I go early and leave after an hour if there is a lot of drinking. It changes people.

LBrain

all I can say is to learn how to 'spread them out'. you don't necessarily have to avoid people completely. but by spending less time in those situations and declining invites or attendance of social events that are heavily weighted by alcohol use, you can slowly remove yourself from 'that'...

If/When confronted by 'friends' about why you choose to not 'hang out' as much you can be ready to respond with, 'I find it annoying to be constantly asked and the continual attempts at enticement to get me to drink again'.

Or something similar. You have to let people know under no uncertain terms that you will not/ can not drink again and would appreciate it if they just left it at that. If they continue to 'go after' you, it's time to scrape them off.

thomas11

I think what you did was great, and it sounds like you handled yourself very well. I distinguish a difference between drunk and wasted. I can handle drunk people. I was one of them for many years. Wasted people I cannot deal with. I leave.

Well done C23

firstymer

I think it was Hemingway who said "I drink to make other people more interesting."

I am in the same boat as you, C23. I haven't abandoned my drinking friends. But I spend much, much less time with them then I used to. And the frankly stupid things that drunk people do and say really does irritate me.

I follow LBrain's advice and have spread pretty thin my time with my drinking friends. Life is better that way.

Fly N Buy

Hmmmm, if we all did this in new sobriety you might be alone here! I know I wouldn't be here. Friends like Dee,SoberWolf and other talk about building sober muscles. I found this to be very true. My experience was / is I have to build those muscles slowly - bravado kept me drinking a very long time C23

At 19 months of sobriety I turned down a business gig at a Craft Beer tasting event that would have paid the mortgage for a couple months. There will be 3-5,000 people in attendance paying flat fee for all the beer "tasting" they can handle. Wow...........

I just refuse to participate. Would I drink. Doubtful, the obsession is gone. But would I choose to be around that many drunks at one time where the event is based on drinking?? No.

Exit strategy in all things is what ya'll taught me - here and in the rooms. And, I have become sort of a sober snob......just don't like drunks, or wasted people or blotto or in their cups - or tipsy etc......

Good thread, it will help others for sure