Katze2015

Last saturday I´ve had (hopefully) my last drinking binge. I felt awful the next day. I drunk almost a bottle of wine. I thought I could control the amount of alcohol, after being sober for two months. I knew I have a problem and I'm scared howthis could drive me to more problems... increasing the frecuency of drinking binge. Since that day I've been sober, but the problem is that weekends triggers me... I used to say, "well is weekend, relax, enjoy food and some wine"... which I normally did on my own, alone.

As I wrote in my last post here, I called a help number and they suggested me to see a doctor, but I realized that I have to get an appointment with a psychiatrist. But the last one told me that my depression was over and that I had no drinking problems (about july last year). And I feel depressed and that I have drinking problem. .

So, feeling that docs won't help, as they didn't that much in the past, I rather prefer to enjoy a AA meeting. I've found there are some in my country and wrote them, to enjoy an online meeting on skype. I still don't feel prepared to go and see people with this problem. But I think that meetings will help me more.

I don't know if it was because of the last binge on the weekend, but this week I feel so depressed. I've been struggling with depression all my life and felt more or less powerful about this. But lately, I feel really down... things I used to enjoy, I don't want to do, like sport. And now that I've to make plans for holidays, I get more depressed, because I'm alone and have to do the plans on my own. I've some friends, but is quite difficult to make plans for holidays together and just thinking going somewhere alone makes me feel sad and also scared... I know I need to rest, but I feel that I don't want to make anything...

Any insight is welcome.

Thanks

Kaneda8888

Hi Katze

My suggestions would be that you seek medical advice, both physical and mental. Then to start making a recovery plan which may include going to AA (or other similar) meetings, exercise, etc. As well, I suggest that you join the January class in this forum where you can be with many like-minded folks.

Depression is a terrible illness and I hope you seek help quickly. Hang in there and do treat SR (here) as a safe haven. Post as much as you can !

least

I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

Upward2Enlightenment

Hi katze

I'm going to echo the suggestion that you seek professional help, medical and psychological. Just because one psychiatrist didn't help, and listen to you by the sound of it, doesn't mean that another will do the same.

There are many people here that will definitely try to help you.

Garden1228

I completely understand

fantail

Katze, try to go to an AA meeting in person. I know you don't feel ready. But I think it will help you to see that other people have struggles that they're facing, too. It always helps me just to sit and listen. I don't know how it is where you are, but in the US it's easy to find meetings during the holidays.

Are you close enough to any of your friends that you could tell someone how you're feeling and ask them to spend some time with you?

Hevyn

Hi Katze. I'm glad you posted about your feelings. We all understand what you're going through.

MariahGayle

Hi Katze, I'm glad your here & looking into seeing someone For depression. Just know that you are not alone in this & as the weekend rolls around, remember those feeling of waking up after a night of drinking & that you never have to feel that way again. Hugs to you

JohnQPublic

Dear K, you know there are lots of great counselors and therapists who specialize or are at least knowledgeable about addiction. I happen to be one and see one myself for my own alcoholism and addictions. It may be of great help. You could always try to make friends at meetings to occupy your weekend. I know it is hard loosing your old friends because you are scared to be around them because of drinking. And its not possible to get away from weekends so as a trigger I feel your pain. I have posted this many times but whenever I say "screw it" and want a drink, I made a deal with myself that before I did it I had to come here and reread my old posts and the posts of others. And doing that, along with other things, I have been sober. I do it day by day. Whenever you break down on the weekends and want to drink, come back and read again the post from above and remember how you felt then. I hope any of that helps. Sending you courage and hope. John

Dee74

Hi Katze

I think a lot of people deal with depression when they quit. Not drinking is a massive change.

If you feel overwhelmed, don't let yourself be cornered by some diagnosis from a while ago - find a new dr/therapist and see where that takes you?

D

ALinNS

Thank you for sharing, as said its always best to see a doctor.

In 1996 I had a short recovery and thought I was ok to drink lightly, what I have since learned is we pick up where to left off no matter how many days, weeks, months or years we stayed sober. This sickness has one ultimate goal and that is to take everything including our lives, we have to be mindful of that before we pick up, I am a walking testimony it only gets worse.

PurpleKnight

For me Sobriety I found was a great foundation to build a life upon, soo many things that I was unhappy about or hated about myself and my life evaporated just because I no longer drank, and the things I needed some extra help with became easier to deal with as a result of a clear head.

Do what you need to do to write a new happier chapter to your life!!

Katze2015

Thanks for your support and encouragement.
I will try to find someone that help me not only with drinking but also with depression.
I just wonder though if I am capable to do a trip for holidays that includes trekking with a group to somehow help me, what do you think?

ALinNS

Hi Katze, If this is part of your plan then great, in my own experience it would be very short lived and for me I am on a quest of life long sobriety and happiness so I am getting help to bring out and deal with the underlying issues, then, because I love trekking, I will do it for fun, that is just me though and my experience.

Katze2015

Hi Alins
Yes, I see this as a sort of a plan , because this trekking will last 5 days and physically demands a good resistance during trekking and before ... I need to continue training, and alcohol only would harm my body...

Soberwolf

in this together x

Hawkeye13

Stay sober, train, and go on the trip.
Physical engagement really helps my depression.

You can walk near the back if you don't feel like being social at times,
and Nature is always healing.

Katze2015

I recently bought the tickets and the tour. It's quite exciting... and will help me at leat for two months staying sober.... thank you

fantail

That's exciting! Congratulations!