zigzagging

Do we all have a reason that we started drinking too much? I do, and it doesn't matter how much I drink the reason is still with me, it's very depressing - especially on nights like tonight when I am sitting here on my own with just a laptop to talk to without a drink in my hand. I am depressed and actually thought that I didn't care about living or dying but recently I have had a bit of a health scare and realized that I don't want to die and so have quit, this is day 3 - early days I know. I guess I have got to accept that my problem/reason for my years of drinking everyday isn't going anywhere so need to shut it away somewhere and start living my life again, before it's too late.

biminiblue

Whatever thing in your past haunts you, someone here has dealt with something similar and has been able to stop drinking anyway.

You can heal yourself. If you believe that and keep seeking, it will happen.

Good work on day three. Keep it going.

doggonecarl

I'm not sure I had a reason. I drank. It progressed. Alcoholism is like that. I probably still have a "reason" to drink, but my reasons for staying sober are more important. I was able to quit and stay quit for over five years.

So can you.

DesertDawg

Is that the answer, Zig, or is the answer to get that problem(s) out in the open, deal with it forthrightly, accept it for what it is, THEN move on? I don't know what haunts you from your past, and its none of my business, but I know that in my case, just shutting a problem away has never done anything to solve the problem, but rather just postponed the inevitable and prevented me from truly moving on until such time as I truly dealt with the issue, as painful as it may have been at the time. I hope I'm not sounding preachy, I'm just offering advice based on my own experiences. Best of luck to you!

Fly N Buy

Every mirror I come across has a perfect image of the reason I drank........I am an alcoholic, it's what we do.

Sobriety is an inside job - circumstances, heritage or pain may have pushed the door of the bar open but if I am still there many years later who's at fault??

eyeshake

I drank because I didn't want to deal with life on life's terms. I used drinking, compulsive shopping and relationships to fill a void that I was afraid to face. I'm on day 3 too, and I realize that this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I'm focusing on what I'm learning about myself and what I'll gain from greater health and self-awareness.

D122y

Hi zz,

I empathize w you.

When I was single and had nobody that cared for me, I drank all them time alone.

I still drank alone after I got married and had a son. Sat in my man cave and partied.

Now, I am in my golden years and I had a health scare. I don't want to have a stroke or what ever.

So, I slowly cut down, binged, then quit. It has been very hard. Initially physically, but now it is all mental.

I found to stay sober I am using health goals. I work out several times a week.

Physically I am better. Mentally I am better, but not perfect.

Anxiety looms. Depression lurks.

I ask God for help and pray.

Hang in there. We are fighting for our lives.

Anna

I think that stopping drinking is the first step. But, it's also necessary to do a lot of soul-searching and find out what the pain is/was that we tried to numb away and then find healthy ways to deal with it. As alcoholics, we often have to learn how to deal with life and it's ups and downs, but we can and you can do it.

PurpleKnight

You know that quote from Shawshank Redemption . . ."get busy living, or get busy dying" . . . that was how my life was going, sitting on my sofa drinking myself into what would have been health problems and an early grave was not the best way forward.

Instead we can write a new chapter to our lives, at first it's tough, but after a while rather than staying in on my own, I eventually got some energy back. went for walks, figured out some new hobbies, rekindled some old ones, built a life that was so much better than my old one!!

Keep pushing through!!

Spinach

Depression will suck all your energy away. Staying sober will start grounding you again. Even if your not sleeping well yet don't you feel proud to start the day without taking a drink the previous day.
Start patting yourself on the back.
Get some books or watch films and box sets.
Start to dream about things you will do with all your time .
Think about finances how much better they'll be!
Don't let depression or your past hold you hostage .
Many on here have major past events, from heartbreak , through abuse and on , it's not going to change through drinking .
Your life can be amazing, keep those days going change the record and keep trying it's not that far away.
John.

ALinNS

Good Morning and great question!! I have no idea why I started drinking too much, none. What I know was at the age of 16 I discovered it medicated trauma from my past, by the age of 23 is was a problem, at 25 I finally admitted I was out of control and an alcoholic, finally at the age of 48 I found someone that explained why I started in the first place and how we could heal those wounds, now at 51 I am finishing what I started 3 years ago, been sober and seeking help since Dec 12th.

I think many, in my experience, most have something in the past that got us going and gave this addictive voice a wake up call and it grew over time to the point where I can never again even pick up one as I know from experience where it leads, my AV is simply too powerful for me to control with even one drink, so I refuse and will go to any length to ensure it does not even get one. I also know from my experience and others, we pick up where we left off meaning, we can be sober for years but if we relapse we start right back at that last drink and it's worse every time.

Wishing you the best
Andrew