SillyHuman

I do not want to work two jobs and am feeling sorry for myself. I just beat the crap out of my keyboard because I got frustrated trying to pay bills online. Without any kind of relief, everything feels like endless drudgery. I am not good at play, at having fun.

beeme

The good (and bad) thing about feelings is that they are always transient. We can't hold on to the good ones or escape the bad ones.

You are letting go of the numbing of pot and feelings will arise. Let them, and have patience with yourself in the process.

The good ones will come more frequently, eventually, too.



ETA: How did you like to play as a child? Sometimes that holds some clues to what will be fun as an adult.

Soberwolf

you work 2 jobs where I'm from that's respected massively im the same im not good paying things online at all & can get frustrated aswell

Fwiw SillyHumnan I think you are awesome

Gingasnap

I have days like that too. I hope your day gets better.

PurpleKnight

Sometimes there are just gonna be those days, good days and bad days, even in Sobriety!!

Do something you enjoy, something to make you feel good, when I'm having a bad day I go for a long walk in the fresh air, hook up some of my best cheesy 80s tunes on my ipod, settle in to watch a good movie or box set, boil up a pot of green tea and break out some chocolate!!

Hang in there!!

huntingtontx

Sometimes life is hard. It sounds like you have your plate full. Fun will happen, you just have to make it through this rough spot. This to shall pass.

Mac1

I've been there too. Where everything seems dull without the promise of getting high/drunk. But these feelings pass, and you get that little bit stronger each and every time.
Recovery is really difficult. But it gets so much easier. The good times will come!

Dee74

Give recovery a chance

I actually have more fun now that I ever had wasted, and I'm less stressed too.

The early part - the transition phase - is a monster, but it gets a lot easier Silly

Acheleus

I wasted a lot if time worrying about what was going to happen and where the next bomb was going to fall from the sky. Nothing seemed stable. When I first attempted recovery I would have been horrified to learn about the extent of my immaturity and childishness. Working two jobs is stressful. I worked a 30 hour weekend job while going to college and I remember always wanting people to know I was working hard. I hope you feel better. Sobriety is really about life. I listened to a speaker tape and he said it is just like a diabetic taking insulin. The insulin helps the diabetic live but it does not mean life will be devoid of pain, regret, and sorrow. I have so much to learn in sobriety that I feel almost paralyzed at times. What I have to tell myself everyday is that I can handle anything sober. I can do anything as long as I am sober.

I cannot do anything well while being an active alcoholic.

SoberinSyracuse

Hi, Silly. I feel exactly like that sometimes. It feels as if the world is wrestling with me. No toilet paper in the house, idiot light on my car dash, dog pukes on my expensive area rug, cell phone craps out, etc.

I took some personal development/sales training and they taught me something which helps me with these days. "Keep your emotions inside the lines." When I find myself getting frustrated doing something I hate but which has to be done, I give myself a little mental shake and say "Snap out of it."

For me, a little self-administered tough love seems to work best.