back2thegoodME

How can I get sober if my bf supports my drinking? says "I'm fine, I'm not an alcoholic, I just drank too much that one time, says stop after a couple next time, stop at 6pm, Drink light beer instead of liquor or wine, etc. I say, I cant stop, we never stop at 6pm, I dont even like beer!! I think I am his drinking buddy. I hate sitting in a bar all afternoon every single weekend!! I will miss seeing my friends tho, thats all they do too and they seem to be OK and like it, or is that an illusion? some of my friends say the dont "trust someone who doesnt drink". what does that mean?!. And these people are in their 40's and 50's!! Is it possible to go out to lunch with him and not order drinks? Eat a good meal, then go to a movie, or walk, or come home, do chores without drinking, etc? He can drink beer all afternoon until the moment he goes to bed, which he will bring a beer to bed with him. I dont want this life anymore This weekend I will NOT drink with him. I will tell him, I am detoxing "for awhile".

least

You get sober for yourself, no matter what anyone else says or does. I'm sorry he doesn't support you, but do this for yourself.

JD

I hate to say it, but this does not look like a good relationship to be in if you want to stay sober. You could probably tag along and not drink (although it would be very difficult) but would that be any fun and would you get any enjoyment out of it?

You're in a tough spot if your BF isn't going to support you. That should tell you something.

Anna

Though it might help to have your boyfriend's support, you don't need it. Your sobriety is something that you are doing for yourself. You know what you need to do, and it will involve changes in your life, but it will be worth it.

SillyHuman

Do not believe him. He does not have your best interests heart, so you have to depend on yourself (and maybe us).

ccam1973

Back, you can do this, and need to do this for yourself. I was in the same boat. My wife and I were heavy drinking buddies; that was a huge part of our lives for years and years. I would drink while doing every daily routine, along with the normal bar hang outs, etc.

I decided to quit, but didn't pressure her to do the same. She can stop at will, I can't... This is my problem at the core, not hers.

It was tough, but quitting is tough no matter how you go about it. You've got to decide to do this for you.

I promise, you can have everything that you wrote in your post; go out to lunch, order a meal, go to a movie, do chores, all without drinking. I did't think it was possible either, but it is and will make your life so much better!

Make this happen for you, be strong and determined. Make sure your bf knows your stance and that it is 100%. He can do what he wants, but if this is what you want, then you've got to commit to yourself.

Lean on us as much as you can. We are here for you.

Soberwolf

Your bf doesn't have to understand what you have realised which I really credit you for btw but I would make a point of saying you don't have to understand why I don't drink no more but from now on can you please respect the decision I've made, something like that so he really knows your serious if he continues to ignore your request then I would think about going meetings to underline to him how serious you are and you can ask for support but that depends if he chooses to & if your ok if he chooses not to - I feel for you as it must be really hard but keep chatting with us & as the sober days pile up he will notice I can guarantee that

I think you have made a real lifesaving decision and hopefully you will choose to be a part of this wonderful community

Best wishes

PurpleKnight

It's not his or anyone else's decision . . . it's YOUR decision!!

Make this happen for YOU, and if others don't like it then tough, only you get to live your life, wake up with the hangovers, deal with all the misery that drinking can cause, no one else has to go through that only you, and so it's not their decision.

God forbid you should want to better yourself, realise what isn't working in your life, turn things around and lead a happier and healthier life!!