Relapsing is Wonderful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Relapsing is Wonderful
Oh yes, it is grand. Thirty six days sober this time, and I am only now getting a little relief. The past month has been fraught with nausea, dizziness, headaches, depression, terrors, anxiety.
It isn't like I don't know that I cannot control drinking. I know that. I think most of us do. But sometimes I feel like I don't give a d*mn. I'll deal with the fallout later.
But tomorrow always comes, and with it the aftermath. You have to pay the piper, and the price is more than any of us care to deal with.
It's not like it was even worth it. After a very brief bit of illusory euphoria from drinking, it quickly turns to misery.
I look back to last summer. I was exactly six months sober. I badly wanted to see the movie, Trainwreck, and I celebrated my anniversary. I got a Thai dinner, then went out and did a hike before seeing the movie. I strongly dislike the heat, but I was feeling so good that I didn't mind it. I felt invigorated, strong, energetic, optimistic, healthy.
Drinking brings on the exact opposite of those things.
My subject heading was sarcastic. Relapsing is hell on earth. Recovery is redemption.
It isn't like I don't know that I cannot control drinking. I know that. I think most of us do. But sometimes I feel like I don't give a d*mn. I'll deal with the fallout later.
But tomorrow always comes, and with it the aftermath. You have to pay the piper, and the price is more than any of us care to deal with.
It's not like it was even worth it. After a very brief bit of illusory euphoria from drinking, it quickly turns to misery.
I look back to last summer. I was exactly six months sober. I badly wanted to see the movie, Trainwreck, and I celebrated my anniversary. I got a Thai dinner, then went out and did a hike before seeing the movie. I strongly dislike the heat, but I was feeling so good that I didn't mind it. I felt invigorated, strong, energetic, optimistic, healthy.
Drinking brings on the exact opposite of those things.
My subject heading was sarcastic. Relapsing is hell on earth. Recovery is redemption.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Living,
Great post.
I relate so much. Before I was educated about booze...about 8 months ago...I was quitting and relapsing every week, or every month..or so..for about 3 years...
I would be drinking shots...thinking to myself...I hate this... i hate booze.....crazy...
Now I know...and now I am reminded.
Proudly sober. Protecting my sobriety like I am on parole from prison...
Great post.
I relate so much. Before I was educated about booze...about 8 months ago...I was quitting and relapsing every week, or every month..or so..for about 3 years...
I would be drinking shots...thinking to myself...I hate this... i hate booze.....crazy...
Now I know...and now I am reminded.
Proudly sober. Protecting my sobriety like I am on parole from prison...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Sobersville, USA
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by Purpleknight 
Tweak your plan, you had 26 Days so something was working, it's just that final step, change up a few things and keep pushing forward!!
You can do this!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 166
Dear hope, Relapse is part of the disease. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are around people who understand the exact pain you are in and survived. Congrats on all the sober days you accumulated, its a real achievement. You can do it again and continue it. We are here for you. Sending you hope and courage. John
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