Pressmetilihurt

I've wrestled with this question FOREVER. I just don't have your stories. Sure I had some dust ups in college or thereabouts but that was a long time ago. I don't take a sip and wake up from a blackout. I can stop drinking when I start. But I do it again the next day. What is happening is that alcohol is becoming wrapped up in my life. Every party, gathering, even movie (they serve beer at some theaters here!). My reasons for considering sobriety are:
1. My son noticed how often I drink now - he talks about beer and people being drunk. He's 9.
2. I've had to crash at a friends house a couple times from drinking. It was for safety so I didn't drive but I was hung over and felt shameful.
3. I take a medication that says not to drink on it.
4. I notice that since I started drinking again, drinking is the center of stuff. I miss just hanging out and being sober.
5. I've driven buzzed and that scares the **** out of me.
6. It's not the ticket to fun that I had hoped.
7. I miss the spiritual connection I got from AA

Vs

That said, I do enjoy the freedom to walk into a bar and order a cold one.
I feel confident and cool. Silly I know
I hate being on the outside looking in at everyone having fun
I can't seem to hold my drink. 3 pints and I'm done and might puke. (Maybe this one should be on the other list)
I'm too old for this ****
My decisions get compromised
I felt guilty in AA- never doing it "right"

Kiki

C23

The way i see it is no one just stumbles upon SR. There is some type of google search that brings us here. There was a motivation for said google search and my guess is because we thought we had a drinking problem. With that said, the people who "belong here" are those that want to remove some type of addiction from their lives and are seeking the support of others who know what the journey is like. I also see that you joined back in 2012....my guess is you came back for a reason. Welcome! I hope i and the rest of SR can help in some way.

suicideseason

sounds good to me. Worried to read the driving buzzed thing, its how many times do you get away with it before it costs you more than you want? If you feel you should then good. Its your life, just the fact you joined, maybe your ready? Goodluck.

sourbaby1986

well this might sound crazy, but that's exactly how I feel! And while I feel for your predicament - it sure feels dang good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I went to AA several years ago for an eating disorder...was never really certain that I was an "alcoholic" though, but substances have regularly played a role in my life for several years.

I'm finding it helpful right now to know that LOTS of alcoholic/addicts wonder if they're alcoholic/addict from time to time - I think it's how relapse happens. But just because the thought is there doesn't mean anything. I can have the thought, I can doubt whether I'm an alcoholic/addict from time to time, and I can still go to meetings. I'm new.

I believe, if I understand correctly, that things will become more clear.

I don't drink til blackout, I can stop once I start, but man the obsession of the mind....it helped me to google 'high bottom alcoholic' and there are several blogs worth checking out. You don't need to be in a ditch to qualify, apparently.

Lance40

For what it's worth, I don't think addiction is about having stories or what you've done or haven't done in relation to other people. It's easy to have a stereotype of what an alcoholic is which is unfortunate because it helps feed our denial which is a hallmark of addiction. I don't know many alcoholics in recovery in real life, but what often impresses me about the few I do know is how they blow my stereotypes out of the water. I'm not really into labels, but I think SR is a perfect place for anyone from someone who knows they are in way over their head to someone who has questions about the role of alcohol in their life.

Dee74

I think if you look at your list you might already know the answer Kiki?

D

chrcarlson

Pressmetilihurt, sure you belong here. Open forum on a public board. As long as you are not talking about cars or speed boats-there are other forums those.

I can stop drinking at one or two any day. I never drink before or at work. I very rarely drink with a hangover and then only 1 or 2 to stop the head ache. I do seem to drink too much too often. My usual pattern is 2 to 4 times a week. I've had 5 DWIs over 30 years but that might be due to bad luck and poor driving skills. I've met plenty of alcoholics that never had one. I think it's time I quit.

You post indicates you drink with medication and shouldn't, drive drunk , can't seem to stop for long periods of time and family members are beginning to notice. Your list is longer.

Yes, I have a lot of stories of all kinds, funny, crazy, sad, even tragic. Some of us need a lot of beating to quit a few smart folks don't.

I'm curious why you went to AA years ago?

Deckard

Hi Kiki

Actually, based on your list you do have some of my stories.

ubntubnt

hi Pressme.......honestly, look at point 4 on your list about alcohol being the centre of everything. Almost like social occasions are just excuses to drink. Thats exactly how it goes......its a clear sign of progressing from the early stages to the middle stages of addiction. You might not be lying in the gutter but that a HUGE leap your addiction has just made. Why not drop the booze for a few months and see how you feel then? At that point nothing lost, right? And maybe your life to gain (and I am not exaggerating).

endlesspatience

You went to AA and then you signed up to a recovery forum for addicts. The reasons you gave for these actions was a pathological relationship with alcohol. In other words, you were repeatedly using the drug in a way that you found difficult to moderate or stop and this had negative consequences for you and other people. That's how I see your relationship with addiction based on what you told us.

Empath1111

Hi Press,

The fact that you are here and seriously contemplating on sobriety is most likely your inner voice telling you that it is probably good to stop drinking. I can do control drinking just like the best of them. I can drink 2 drinks and put it down. Hell, sometimes I don't even feel like finishing the first one. I did not drink everyday. And I have a decent healthy body and healthy hobbies and interests as well.

However, sometimes when I drink it gets out of control. Whenever that happens I feel demoralized and ashamed. The worst part for me personally is that I know there is a better way of living and I'm not doing it. I know I am not being the best person that I am. When I continue to have alcohol in my life, it does somehow turn into a focal point. Just like you, everything starts to revolve around the drinking.

You don't have to have the whole world crash down on you to have a desire to stop drinking. Sometimes, all it takes is a desire for a better way of life. Perhaps you can commit to sobriety for a while and then you can compare the way you feel to when you were drinking. Maybe the answer might just be you willing to explore what sobriety can offer you instead of alcohol.

Good luck to you!

P.S. To answer your initial question, I'd say most emphatically YES. =)

erky

Hello Kiki,

it was once that my drinking reduced my options but I notice now it reduces my capacity to even see them let alone choose. If I could turn back the clock it wouldn't make any difference because I would choose the same. It's only now that I can

maverickspoint

I can't make too much of a judgement based on what you've said but it is all reminiscent of how I was in the early days. The problem is you have had a smooth ride so far and trust me it will just get worse if you don't acknowledge it (which is what you seem to be doing so great). If you carry on drinking the way you have been it will take hold of your life and mind. It's just not worth it.
So, if you don't want to end up in a prison cell, have your driving license taken away, lose those you love, watch your health deteriorate and have suicidal thoughts (just some of my experiences) you should absolutely be here.
Could be the start to a great year.

On The Road

Hi Kiki

Alcohol was the center of my life, and my kids, too, noticed my drinking and "falling asleep" around the house. You probably know this better than me, but kids know what's going on with us. They might not fully understand the ramifications of adult behavior, but they're a good measure for our actions. . .

To me it sounds like you're in the right place. Remember, our disease gets progressively worse, not better, over time. Why not stop now BEFORE you experience more severe symptoms?

least

Of course you belong here. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

FeelingGreat

Hi Press, if you don't think you're an alcoholic, why not try moderating? Just drinking once a week, or only on special occasions. If you find yourself thinking you can't moderate indefinitely then yes, you belong here.

Mel12

Hi Kiki - I wish I had quit earlier, when I first noticed trouble signs. In hindsight, I realize that quitting earlier rather than later would have saved me a good deal of time, money, and more.

doggonecarl

Do you belong here?

Enough said.

You also said in a previous post that sobriety sucked. So you not only belong here, you're a candidate for recovery (vs just abstinence).

countrygirl2014

The fact that you are seeking help through an online forum says to me you need to be here. You do not have to hit a nasty bottom to want to change your lifestyle. I was a high bottom drunk. I didn't get arrested (yet), I still have my daughter (for now), I had a good job up until the last year of active drinking. I was also completely drunk after 2-3 beers. Then I would get real stupid and add shots and more beers on top of that. I started in AA so long ago, you could smoke in the meetings. I restarted a year and 3 months ago. I've driven buzzed and never got pulled over (yet). All those "yets" eventually come true. Your confidence should come from within, not from a bottle. If you want to change, this is the place to do it, no matter what your life story is. Welcome!

Jennifer

ALinNS

Good Morning and Welcome back.

I don't think we have to have big war stories to tell us it's time to put a cork in the bottle we just have to look at our track record with alcohol.

Personally I see your list as warning signs, it struck a nerve when you said your 9yr old has noticed your drinking, I had a quick flashback to my own children making or asking similar questions, that was a long time ago now as they are young adults with great career's. Although I am highly educated I knew very little about this sickness at the time and honestly no desire to learn or look at my own actions.

The driving while drinking to me is/was a big warning sign, not that I listened because at least in my case the logical side of my brain saying no you can not drive goes out the window as soon as the AV takes over.

I am just curious what would happen, lets say for a month, could you attend all these social functions that do have booze and just stick to water or a soft drink, may be something worth trying.

Many/most of us have something we call the addictive voice, I do not know the answer in your case but in mine in 1996 when alcohol (hindsight) was an issue in my life I came up with similar reasoning, my X at the time agreed, I was not an alcoholic, I simply drank too much to often. It's scary what I have done, lost and people I have hurt from that moment until I finally stopped.

Wishing you the very best
Andrew