Once a Drunk...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 14
Once a Drunk...
I can't think of when I didn't drink. I did stop in 2003 for 5 years. I cried the day I started drinking again. A lost job and many more excuses to drink again. Today, drinking has cost me my marriage, my home and my sense of self. Tonight, I still drink, alone. Why?
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Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
jdspang - welcome. I'm so sorry for the pain you're in, but very glad you found us.
Most of us have had those same feelings. I still don't understand why I poisoned myself for decades. I guess I thought of it as a way to cope. In the end, it did nothing but bring me anxiety and misery. It was wonderful to get free of it. We will help you - plenty of encouraging words here.
Most of us have had those same feelings. I still don't understand why I poisoned myself for decades. I guess I thought of it as a way to cope. In the end, it did nothing but bring me anxiety and misery. It was wonderful to get free of it. We will help you - plenty of encouraging words here.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Welcome jdspang! We've all lost a lot due to the drink. You can't change what happened in the past but you can create a sober future. Come join the rest of us on that journey.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Welcome 
SR made a lot of difference for me jdspang - it felt wonderful to know people understood and cared, and to know people had found a way out of addiction.
I'm sure we can help you too
How did you stay sober for 5 years?
D
SR made a lot of difference for me jdspang - it felt wonderful to know people understood and cared, and to know people had found a way out of addiction.
I'm sure we can help you too
How did you stay sober for 5 years?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,505
Welcome jdspang,
I stopped for 5 years once and think I returned to drinking because I did not take my sobriety seriously enough and held resentment about not being able to drink. I stopped more for those around me and had so little sense of self that I could not envisage me doing anything for ME. It was only a matter of time. We all lose in this game sorta like poker machines designed to have people lose. It's about you now. I lost two houses but feel better in my little rented flat sober than drunk in my mortgaged bunker.
I stopped for 5 years once and think I returned to drinking because I did not take my sobriety seriously enough and held resentment about not being able to drink. I stopped more for those around me and had so little sense of self that I could not envisage me doing anything for ME. It was only a matter of time. We all lose in this game sorta like poker machines designed to have people lose. It's about you now. I lost two houses but feel better in my little rented flat sober than drunk in my mortgaged bunker.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
Welcome, jdspang!
You won't find many people around here who believe "once a drunk, always a drunk." We know from experience that being a drunk is something you do, not who you are.
I hope you stick around! You *can* achieve lasting sobriety and there's tons of great help and support on this forum.
You won't find many people around here who believe "once a drunk, always a drunk." We know from experience that being a drunk is something you do, not who you are.
I hope you stick around! You *can* achieve lasting sobriety and there's tons of great help and support on this forum.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hobbesian State of Nature
Posts: 39
I am so heartened by this thread. I never took my sobriety seriously enough either jdsprang. I'm 47 and thought that because things are better, that I am out of the woods. No. Correct re resentment about not drinking. I really need to take on not drinking as a foundation of my identity. I am heartened by all you people
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,896
Welcome to SR!
My story has some similarity to yours. I also stopped drinking in 2003 and stayed sober for 5 1/2 years. I had no specific plan, I just worked on not drinking.
Unfortunately, after 5 1/2 years I became complacent and thought I could drink responsibly. I couldn't. I tried to get sober again and couldn't do it. I would be sober for a couple of weeks and then I would drink again and it would lead to a 3 day bender. This on again, off again drinking lasted for a year. I just couldn't stay sober.
Eventually I found this website, and after years of denial I decided to try AA, I was desperate. I didn't lose anything, but I was getting close to losing my marriage. It wasn't always easy but I managed to get sober, and I'll be coming up on 6 years soon.
So it's possible. As other's frequently say, you've got to have a plan. For me that was AA and this website.
If you are trying to get sober by yourself, forget it. If you are a drunk, trying to give yourself advice on how to get and stay sober, is insane.
My story has some similarity to yours. I also stopped drinking in 2003 and stayed sober for 5 1/2 years. I had no specific plan, I just worked on not drinking.
Unfortunately, after 5 1/2 years I became complacent and thought I could drink responsibly. I couldn't. I tried to get sober again and couldn't do it. I would be sober for a couple of weeks and then I would drink again and it would lead to a 3 day bender. This on again, off again drinking lasted for a year. I just couldn't stay sober.
Eventually I found this website, and after years of denial I decided to try AA, I was desperate. I didn't lose anything, but I was getting close to losing my marriage. It wasn't always easy but I managed to get sober, and I'll be coming up on 6 years soon.
So it's possible. As other's frequently say, you've got to have a plan. For me that was AA and this website.
If you are trying to get sober by yourself, forget it. If you are a drunk, trying to give yourself advice on how to get and stay sober, is insane.
Brother of the Wolf
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Walking With Giants
Posts: 436
You have already cleared one giant hurdle--you recognize that this is a problem. Now, you need to start figuring out how to solve it. Dozens of small changes lead to one very large change. For me, I relapsed because I wasn't working on sobriety. I was content to simply not drink. But I never worked on any of the underlying issues that led to me picking up the bottle in the first place.
First thing's first: You need to stop drinking. Safely. Once you have your head cleared from alcohol, you can start putting together more of a plan to rebuild your life in sobriety. The best way to get the ball rolling is to stop beating yourself up over the past. What's done is done, but he future is a giant question mark.
First thing's first: You need to stop drinking. Safely. Once you have your head cleared from alcohol, you can start putting together more of a plan to rebuild your life in sobriety. The best way to get the ball rolling is to stop beating yourself up over the past. What's done is done, but he future is a giant question mark.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
I have learned (thick skull and an active AV) that my sobriety is and has to be #1 in my life for the rest of my life. Like you I lost everything when I relapsed in November, it took a month almost to the day to climb back out and this time it took everything including a job I loved. But I have been down this road before, I am a fighter and will get back what I have lost, I know for me there are a lot of eyes watching me and that is fine, I am doing this because Andrew is sick and tired of what alcohol has taken and I will not let it have my life, that is our addictive voices end game because it's selfish and doesn't care about anything dear to us including the mind it tries to live in and control.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Because your choosing to drink when you choose to stop that's when the magic happens which you should already know if you were sober for 5 years
My advice is since you already know what it takes is DO IT AGAIN
My advice is since you already know what it takes is DO IT AGAIN
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