dogsong1013

So I know I have issues...Many issues but they are not finite ones. I am not an alcoholic bc I dont really enjoy drinking. I am however a drug addict I think...I love cocaine. I love feeling different then my usual self. I hate feeling sad and that is me almost all the time. I battle depression and have most of my life. I dont know what to do anymore! I have failed at so many things I dont think i can take one more let down. My favorite musicains sing lyrics to a song that says the sky was yellow and the sun was blue...I just see grey! I dont want to be this way. I dont want to use to be happy. I just want to be happy. I know that I am a caring individual and that I would do anything to help anyone but I just cant seem to help myself. I am hoping this is a new start...

least

Welcome! Do more than just hope, put your desires into action. Come up with a plan to succeed at sobriety.

I hope the support and wisdom here can help you get clean for good.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Dogsong!!

Steely

Welcome dogsong
Do you want to stop using Coke? If so this site is really helpful in keeping you on track with your commitment to yourself and a better way of being. I am only 13 days sober and I don't care how bleak and depressed I might be drinking would only make it worse and I would not get the chance to live an authentic life and I want that more than anything. After the initial euphoria of Cocaine the next morning arrives with depression for breakfast. I hope you stick around as there are so many benefits (hard won) to sobriety and not using. What's a grey sky between friends?

JohnQPublic

Dear dogsong, I am absolutely sure you are a good caring individual. Being an addict has nothing to do with that despite what some in society may believe. Lots of us here know how we had to use to feel happy or just ....not us. I understand your pain. I hope you find some help here. I know I do. You say you are not an alcoholic and I understand you might never have been a big drinker before but once you kind of cross the line of addiction with any substance the tendency to loose ourselves in another is far too easy. There are lots of drugs I have not used but I don't think anything could be safe for me to use. Alcoholics are addicts and addicts are alcoholics. Sending you strength and hope. John

Dee74

Welcoem dogsong
SR is open to anyone with a problem, not just alcoholics.

I really believe it is possible to be happy without using - supports really important in that, and you'll find a lot of support and good ideas here

D

dogsong1013

Thank you Steely! Your response helped me even for just one night. I have the ability to withstand using for a while just dont know how to be happy. Cocaine and other substances make me feel happy in the moment. I am fearless while on it. Its the next day when it all looks grey...Whats grey between friends...Im not sure bc my friends dont see me that way or atleast I dont think they do. I think I may have found a new friend in you though and that makes things not so grey. Keep doing what you are doing because u are doing something right. Your words helped me.

dogsong1013

Thank you JonQ. I appreciate you reading my post and offering words of wisdom. You are probably right in that we are one in the same to an extent. There is not one substance that is better or easier to overcome. If you have a problem you have a problem and you are correct in that.

teatreeoil007

Welcome dog!

I've never used coke. Had it offered to me once, but turned it down. Saw it ruin people financially and in other ways. Held someone's hand as they were withdrawing from it. I've been told it's not PHYSICALLY addictive, just psychologically. I find that hard to believe...

Soberwolf

Welcome DogSong