Concerned about husband's denial
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan
Posts: 1
Concerned about husband's denial
Hello, everyone, and thank you for allowing me to join this forum. I joined Al-Anon in 1998 to begin my own recovery from co-dependence. My first husband, to whom I was married for 20 years, was an alcoholic, and I was able to leave that situation in a healthy way thanks to Al-Anon. I have been married to a wonderful man for ten years, and while he has no addiction issues, his 21-year-old stepson is an alcoholic, and my husband is in denial about this. Over the past two years, my stepson has dropped out of college, fathered a child that he neglects, and been charged with driving under the influence. He works part of the year, but for his older half-brother, who covers for him when he's late for work or too hung-over to get up. Most of the year, my husband allows him to lie around the house, drinking and sleeping all day. My husband also allows him to have his girlfriend stay in his room and have sex all day and night. When I try to speak with my husband, he rejects all of his advice and says that his son only needs to be treated kindly and he will be fine.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,674
Hi codependentex and welcome to SR.
I can't give any advice on your step son but there will be some members along soon with experience of this. Though I do agree with you that your husband is in denial where his son is concerned.
I can't give any advice on your step son but there will be some members along soon with experience of this. Though I do agree with you that your husband is in denial where his son is concerned.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Hi, and welcome. 
I'm sorry your home has become a place where you don't feel comfortable. You have every right to require change in your own home.
There is a section here on this site that may be helpful for you to visit, for families and friends of alcoholics. (It's kind of like Al Anon.)
Here is the direct link, just click:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I'm sorry your home has become a place where you don't feel comfortable. You have every right to require change in your own home.
There is a section here on this site that may be helpful for you to visit, for families and friends of alcoholics. (It's kind of like Al Anon.)
Here is the direct link, just click:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Yes, since it's your home that is being affected with your stepson's behaviour, I hope that you and your husband can come to some sort of agreement on how to deal with the situation. I don't think you can 'make' your husband believe his son is an addict, but hopefully you can come to an agreement about the unemployment and girlfriend issue.
I hope you and your husband can come to an understanding and set some boundaries for his step son. You have the right to be comfortable in your own home.
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