solow

Hi I'm a 29 year old female. I started drinking secretly about 18 months ago but no realise I had issues with alcohol for many years prior to that. I have now developed a habit that involves daily drinking throughout the day in secret. I lie routinely to everyone about it, find any excuse to get out alone so that I can buy alcohol and I stash away the empty bottles so they won't be found. I feel terrified of how out of control I am and I desperately want to stop this. I found this forum because I feel like I have nowhere where I can talk openly and find non-judgmental support.

DuhDave

I'am glad you found us Solow.

Are you ready to stop the insanity ?

REALLY ready ?

DD

DuhDave

We're glad you're here.

DD

Saskia

Welcome, Solow!

There are so many good people here that can help. I'm glad you found us.

bluedog97

Welcome, glad you're here!

solow

I want to be free of this and I've managed to for about 13 days until about 2 weeks ago when I started again. When I stopped I went through horrible withdrawal alone in my flat. I was horribly ill and anxious, terrified of everything. Now I'm scared I will have to do it all over again but I know I have to as I can't go on like this. I hope speaking to others might help me because trying to do it alone didn't work.

DuhDave

solow...can you...WILL you go to Hospital ? They can help you there.

They are Non-Judgemental and professional people who only want to help.

Will you go ?

DD

chrcarlson

For me that hardest part was admitting the problem. You are on one your way to a better life.

Keepnitreal

Welcome Solow. There is a lot of help and support her on SR. Ask for all the help you need.

BixBees505

Welcome, solow, there is a lot of support here for you. So glad you found SR. Talking with people who understand will certainly help you with the changes you want to make.

You must be careful and safe going through first few days, though, which is why Dave suggests getting some medical help. Can you do that?

In any case, keep posting. People here are amazing, and will come alongside you. You are NOT alone, and there is hope.

solow

i had my last drink around 7 hours ago and physically I'm fine for the moment. I plan on visiting the doctor tomorrow to get some advice. I'm currently staying at my mum's and it's the middle of the night so I don't want to upset her by leaving for the hospital. I'd rather she didn't know I'd started again as she would be so upset. My brother is also back in town from a long stint living abroad and he has issues with alcohol too but is currently sober and sometimes attends AA meetings. I don't want to let him down either. I also suspect my bad withdrawal last time was partly a result of drinking very large amounts in the days leading up to going cold turkey. This time around I haven't been so bad and have had the odd day or 2 off at times so I'm hopeful I can get away without any really bad physical reaction to stopping. Im going speak to the doctor and see what he says on that front. I just desperately want to stop and stay that way and find ways to deal with life's stresses in a healthy way rather than just turning to drink all the time.

solow

And thank you all for responding. I feel relieved to speak to people about this

BixBees505

Good. Sounds good, solow. Read like crazy here and post, ask questions, talk. Best to you.

keeppushing

Welcome! Stayed involved!

KP

BixBees505

Solow, just so you know, feel free to post in any active thread where the discussion seems useful to you. There are also Stickies at the top of the main newcomers page that are full of very good reading.

solow

Thank you, I feel welcome already. And so relieved to find this place and to know there are people I can talk to out there. I'm already reading the threads and finding some comfort in them

Dee74

Welcome slow - I'm glad you're seeing the Dr tomorrow. Let us know how you get on

D

suicideseason

I can relate. Talking about it helps, any aspect. At first it doesnt maybe seem to help but it does take time just like how it took time to develop you know.

Hereandnow2

You've got a good plan. Let us know what the dr says.

Coldfusion

Welcome to SoberRecovery, and I wish you a happy sober New Year!

Here's just a couple good threads to join--there's lots of on-going threads here, and you can join almost any of them!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5713936

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5715090