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Still contemplating and still afraid

Old 12-30-2015, 09:24 AM
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Still contemplating and still afraid

I've been drinking an excessive amount of alcohol. Vodka during the day (I work from home) and wine at night. It is a constant juggling act. Crap, I juggle the disposal of liquor bottles, I'm constantly berated by my hubby due to my weight (alcohol induced for sure). He drinks 3-4 BIG beers a night and still looks like a spider. I go through spurts of activity and weight lifting, only to fall back into a slump. A slump of what? Brain fog, digestive issues, limitations on so many levels. I come from a family of drinkers. All of us, except one, is a big time drinker, even worse than me. I don't even know how to approach this. My idea at this time is to stop drinking while working (duh), and pre-pouring wine (20 oz.) for each night. Then I want to taper down from there. I don't believe a straight up stop will work for me. I know myself and I just don't have the resolve for it. I did it when I stopped smoking many years ago and the AV talk, 12 steps, it just makes me ill. I just don't feel like I can do that again. I want to find another way vs. all or nothing. Does anyone here have advice for tapering? It seems so simple in theory, but not in practice, for me, now. I will need some help. Any ideas? Is it an all or nothing deal to stop? I'd like to stop by tapering but don't know of a method to do it. Thank you in advance.
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Old 12-30-2015, 09:36 AM
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Welcome to SR pkdel.
I don't have any advice. But you have come to the right place for great support and information. I wish you much luck on your journey.
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Old 12-30-2015, 09:36 AM
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Hi Pk!,
I always quit cold turkey when it came to my drinking but that depends on the amount of alcohol and the individual. I am not sure how much you drink but it appears you are into the hard stuff so you might experience physical withdrawals if you cut it out all at once. Tapering never worked for me because I would always want more.

Might be best to be honest with your doctor and see if they can lend some advice and meds to help ween off the sauce. Good luck
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Old 12-30-2015, 09:56 AM
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My advice for tapering is that it doesn't work. Most of us here have determined to taper/moderate and failed. For me, things got worse. Stopping drinking was really much easier. Of course, you should talk to your dr first.
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:01 AM
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I tried tapering many times - it never worked for me as I'd always drink too much. Best idea is see your doctor for help in getting safely thru the worst of the withdrawal.
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:04 AM
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Welcome to SR.

Originally Posted by pkdel View Post
I want to find another way vs. all or nothing.
While I understand the principle of tapering, to ween the body off of alcohol and to prevent the worst of withdrawals, in practice it rarely works with alcoholics.

Who is going to manage the taper? It's awfully difficult for us, the alcoholic, because if we could control our drinking, we wouldn't be here. Your husband? Do you really want him saying no to your insistent plea for more alcohol?

I second SoberJohn's suggestion...see your doctor, be honest about your drinking and your desire to quit, and do it under medical supervision.
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:05 AM
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Be Careful of Tapering!

You drink exactly like I did. I drank vodka during the day and wine at night, minimum of 10 drinks a day and often more.

Here's the thing: When I attempted to taper on my own, I suffered a seizure and fell face down on the floor. Fortunately I still have all my teeth and my nose is still centered between my eyes. That was in October 2014, and I still have a scar on my lip. Think how much worse it might have been if I'd been driving when it happened!!!

I'm going for amino acid detox in January, and I'm doing a very slow taper in preparation, under a doctor's guidance.

Be extremely careful. You don't want a seizure. Can you get some medical advice on this?
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:30 AM
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Welcome PkDel
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:37 AM
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I've tried tapering several times. All I ended up doing was actually increasing my drinking. Never was quite sure how that worked out, but that's just my experience. Would you be willing to fess up to a doctor so maybe you could go cold turkey but with assistance?
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:39 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Pkdel!!
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Old 12-30-2015, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by pkdel View Post
I want to find another way vs. all or nothing.
You've just described 99% of the alcohol addicts here. Nearly all of us wanted that. You're in good company.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!
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Old 12-30-2015, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by pkdel View Post
I'd like to stop by tapering but don't know of a method to do it..
Alas, there is no method. Subtracting alcoholism from your life by adding drinks at specific time periods during the day is not going to cure you. Putting your lab coat on at home and cobbling ideas and concoctions together like a mad scientist is not recommended.

Your drinking sounds familiar, I also drank all day and night. The only responsible advice (and the advice you don't want to hear) is to talk to a doctor. At this high level of drinking, you could have a Grand Mal Seizure if you quit cold turkey. I did, and would not wish it on my worst enemy. Tapering will only make things worse. The only way out of this hole is to make a serious commitment to quitting alcohol forever. It's a great freedom. If we can do it, you can do it! Welcome aboard!
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Old 12-30-2015, 12:15 PM
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I just want to reiterate as a caution to all: I suffered a seizure not after cold turkey, but during a taper.

Once we're drinking at a certain level, withdrawal (cold turkey or gradual) really needs medical guidance.
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Old 12-30-2015, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by pkdel View Post
AV talk, 12 steps, it just makes me ill. I just don't feel like I can do that again. I want to find another way vs. all or nothing.
That crap made me ill too. Absolutely no way in hell I'd ever join up with that pack of losers. I knew I'd get it handled sooner or later.

Well, sooner didn't come......neither did later. I was quite shocked, honestly, to learn what an alcoholic really is and even more shocked to see that I was one of them - though I hated the thought.

The thing about 12 step (I can't speak to monitoring my "AV" as that never worked for me, I always drank again when i didn't want to) is that nobody (I know of) does it initially because it looks good, seems like it will work or because they want to. It's typically because they've tried everything else and it's the only damn thing left.

So, tips on moderating.......not a clue. I was never able to do that for long and never for whatever amount of time I'd decide to slow it down for when I'd try to control it. Then again, for the type of alcoholic I am, the ability to control it or talk myself out of starting isn't a possibility. Perhaps you still have that ability. By the time I even half-wanted to stop, it was not possible to do so.
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Old 12-30-2015, 01:31 PM
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Welcome to SR. There's a lot of good advice up there. I tried moderating and tapering and it never worked. I may get jumped on here but I've been around SR for a while now and don't see many people on here with long term sobriety who came here asking how they could taper and then did it.

I'd see your doctor and be honest about your alcohol consumption. And don't think that your doctor has never heard such a thing before. I talked to my husband's doctor who said that this was the 6th time in a week someone had come to him for advice and assistance on quitting. My own doctor wasn't taken aback either when I spoke with her about my own drinking.

Please reconsider tapering. Be well.
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Old 12-30-2015, 02:18 PM
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That sounds like bargaining taper to me pkdel - the kind you do to stop drinking... but not really.

It is scary to stop drinking - but there's so many stories here from people who've stopped and made their lioves better.

We can't all be lying - what would be the point?

I hope you'll join us and post regularly. This community really helped me see what I needed to you.

I'm sure we can help you too - welcome!

D
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