I am the cookie
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 91
I am the cookie
It's been a long two weeks with AH and kids home all the time.
I did slip into old ways a couple of times, reminded AH that he said a couple of weeks ago that he was going to "cut way back, like not much at all, until Christmas and NY, and then not for a while after that" and yet he has drank twice as much. And what an abstract plan it was anyway, huh? I've gotten depressed and grouchy and short tempered and, frankly, a b!tch toward him.
The day before yesterday I listened to some Alanon speakers and felt some renewal of calm.
But I had this thought too....
It's the holidays, so lots of treats have made their way into our home. AH has a habit of choosing what he wants and putting it away for later. But then letting it sit there, ignored and forgotten, for so long that it's not any good to anyone anymore.
Last weekend I was thinking about that habit of his and realized that *I* am the cookie! I'm this thing that he chose and then put away and forgot about until it's no good to anyone anymore.
Isn't that pathetic?
It didn't take long for me to get pissed about that.
I haven't been back to a meeting since the week before Thanksgiving. I keep letting other things fill up the time.
My plan for the new year is to make it a priority. An unbreakable appointment every week. I need to make myself a priority and get serious about getting well. And I'll have to just accept whatever happens after that.
Expect to see more of me here.
I did slip into old ways a couple of times, reminded AH that he said a couple of weeks ago that he was going to "cut way back, like not much at all, until Christmas and NY, and then not for a while after that" and yet he has drank twice as much. And what an abstract plan it was anyway, huh? I've gotten depressed and grouchy and short tempered and, frankly, a b!tch toward him.
The day before yesterday I listened to some Alanon speakers and felt some renewal of calm.
But I had this thought too....
It's the holidays, so lots of treats have made their way into our home. AH has a habit of choosing what he wants and putting it away for later. But then letting it sit there, ignored and forgotten, for so long that it's not any good to anyone anymore.
Last weekend I was thinking about that habit of his and realized that *I* am the cookie! I'm this thing that he chose and then put away and forgot about until it's no good to anyone anymore.
Isn't that pathetic?
It didn't take long for me to get pissed about that.
I haven't been back to a meeting since the week before Thanksgiving. I keep letting other things fill up the time.
My plan for the new year is to make it a priority. An unbreakable appointment every week. I need to make myself a priority and get serious about getting well. And I'll have to just accept whatever happens after that.
Expect to see more of me here.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
It didn't take long for me to get pissed about that.
Good. Anger can be a very healthy emotion. It contains a great deal of energy that can be channeled to good purpose.
Expect to see more of me here.
Excellent. I'm very glad to hear it. Time to make YOU a priority.
Now I want cookies. White chocolate macadamia nut. Or maybe something with toffee chips. Ooohh, or coconut macaroons.
Good. Anger can be a very healthy emotion. It contains a great deal of energy that can be channeled to good purpose.
Expect to see more of me here.
Excellent. I'm very glad to hear it. Time to make YOU a priority.
Now I want cookies. White chocolate macadamia nut. Or maybe something with toffee chips. Ooohh, or coconut macaroons.
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