New & Continuing Struggles
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Sarasota, FL
Posts: 1
New & Continuing Struggles
I have found myself in an interesting struggle that I am having a very difficult time with. I have been sober for 470 days. Originally when I decided to get sober it was me just waking up one day and looking at my son & my granddaughter & saying to myself..."ok, you're done with this stuff" & I was done. Of course it's not like the thought of doing it never crossed my mind but when it did it was very fleeting...almost literally a split second thought & then it was gone. I have never done a support group, 12 step program or any of those things & now I am finding those thoughts that use to be fleeting are now lingering wants. I am now finding myself needing help with this. So, what's changed? Well, my husband has just very recently...like 3 weeks ago recently...completed a 28 day program for narcotics so now not only am a recovering addict, I am now also in the roll of codependent. He is doing very well in his recovery but I am not doing so well in mine because the distrust & stress of everything going on is pushing me near the edge of my own cliff. I am going to meeting with him on a daily basis but I think I need more than that now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Why don't you look for your own meetings? I don't really think you belong in his meetings, each of you has to work on your recovery separately. It makes it hard to concentrate and hard to be honest if a spouse is sitting there. Are there other couples in these meetings? Or are you talking about family meetings? Usually AA/NA meetings are the addict themselves.
There are meetings for Friends and Families of Alcoholics/Addicts. Those meeting are Al Anon. That's more for the Codependency side. Why don't you find one? Often there will be an AA meeting and an Al Anon meeting close to each other at the same times, too.
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
There are meetings for Friends and Families of Alcoholics/Addicts. Those meeting are Al Anon. That's more for the Codependency side. Why don't you find one? Often there will be an AA meeting and an Al Anon meeting close to each other at the same times, too.
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,182
I agree with biminiblue melh, concentrate on your own recovery and if it means going to an AA meeting for yourself then do it. Sometimes (it seems to me reading posts on SR) some people want to put all or most of the responsibility for their recovery onto somone else (a spouse etc)
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
I would keep the focus on your own recovery. It might also be helpful to get some support in dealing with your spouse's recovery.
We have a friends and family forum here, both for friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. Give them a look.
We have a friends and family forum here, both for friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. Give them a look.
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