A continuation of SS's post about her suspicions...I don't get it!!
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NOT in love thank goodness
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A continuation of SS's post about her suspicions...I don't get it!!
OK.......Standing Strong.......your post about your AH's drinking and giving your son a beer. WHAt is it about A's??? What is it??
My ASO's been complaining about his son and his habitual drinking at strip clubs. He goes about 3 times a WEEK. He's addicted to these strippers. HE spends all his money there. And he keeps trying to date strippers and he keeps getting his heart broken. So we have tried hard this past year to get him OUT of the strip clubs, away from drinking (he's had 2 dui's in one year).
So after ASO moved out of my house...of course what does HE do?? Go drinking one night at the strip club that his son and he used to hang out in. He was telling me all about it...like that is what I want to hear...that is really going to make me want to take him back?? Am I suppsed to be jealous??
Anyway, he tells me he calls his son from there. TElls him how hot the girls are. Makes one of the girls talk to his son on the cell phone. HE laughs and says that his son told him "Dad, you are killing me here." Oh, I forgot to mention son is on home detention from 2nd DUI.
SO....how is that helping his son??? HOW??? I just looked at him dumbfounded. I just do NOT UNDERSTAND how his brain works. I really don't!!!
I swear he WORKS at screwing up his life. Ugh........SO glad he is my EX-SO.
My ASO's been complaining about his son and his habitual drinking at strip clubs. He goes about 3 times a WEEK. He's addicted to these strippers. HE spends all his money there. And he keeps trying to date strippers and he keeps getting his heart broken. So we have tried hard this past year to get him OUT of the strip clubs, away from drinking (he's had 2 dui's in one year).
So after ASO moved out of my house...of course what does HE do?? Go drinking one night at the strip club that his son and he used to hang out in. He was telling me all about it...like that is what I want to hear...that is really going to make me want to take him back?? Am I suppsed to be jealous??
Anyway, he tells me he calls his son from there. TElls him how hot the girls are. Makes one of the girls talk to his son on the cell phone. HE laughs and says that his son told him "Dad, you are killing me here." Oh, I forgot to mention son is on home detention from 2nd DUI.
SO....how is that helping his son??? HOW??? I just looked at him dumbfounded. I just do NOT UNDERSTAND how his brain works. I really don't!!!
I swear he WORKS at screwing up his life. Ugh........SO glad he is my EX-SO.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
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I obviously don't have the answer!
With my case though, the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps my AH is trying to have a "friendship" with my son. And has completely forgotten his role as a parent.
Is it a bonding type of thing for males (and maybe some females as well) that is a right of passage type of thing? Drinking, strip clubs, etc - you know the old "Man's World" type of thing?
Perhaps it is a way of justifying what they themselves do if they get their child to do it too - this way there is no hard feelings that the child will feel towards the parent. They are "bonding", "sharing common interest", "spending time together", etc.
I truly have no idea what goes through an adult's head when they have an addiction or a liking for something that is not a good thing and yet encourage their child(ren) to share in that as well.
Maybe they never grasped the concept of a parent wanting better for their own child. Or maybe they feel that it would have been "cool" if their parent had done these things with them?
As I said, I am so not the person that has the answers at this point.
(Still shaking my head in disbelief)
With my case though, the more I think about it, the more I think that perhaps my AH is trying to have a "friendship" with my son. And has completely forgotten his role as a parent.
Is it a bonding type of thing for males (and maybe some females as well) that is a right of passage type of thing? Drinking, strip clubs, etc - you know the old "Man's World" type of thing?
Perhaps it is a way of justifying what they themselves do if they get their child to do it too - this way there is no hard feelings that the child will feel towards the parent. They are "bonding", "sharing common interest", "spending time together", etc.
I truly have no idea what goes through an adult's head when they have an addiction or a liking for something that is not a good thing and yet encourage their child(ren) to share in that as well.
Maybe they never grasped the concept of a parent wanting better for their own child. Or maybe they feel that it would have been "cool" if their parent had done these things with them?
As I said, I am so not the person that has the answers at this point.
(Still shaking my head in disbelief)
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NOT in love thank goodness
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Originally Posted by StandingStrong
Maybe they never grasped the concept of a parent wanting better for their own child. (Still shaking my head in disbelief)
But I just can't relate I guess. I would imagine my dad hasn't set foot in a strip club since he's been married. I guess I need to understand taht we are all different. I am not sure how I fell so in love with someone so different from me. And now I'm sad cause I can't live with him and I can't live without him.
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