Lockyboy

Met up with my ex for a drink today, first time I've seen her in 8 weeks since we split.

Had to meet down the pub as the coffee shops were shut as its a public holiday here, but stuck to cokes.

Meeting went well, very amicable, but she did tell me we would never get back together due to my past drinking and that she would never want to live with someone worrying about if I ever relapsed.

She said she knew it was over for us when she realised she didn't care if I was drunk or sober.

God I hate alcohol and the train wreck it makes of lives.

I've found it easier to give up drinking than losing my ex, though without her breaking up it wouldn't have given me kick up the arse to give it up.

Giving up the drink has been easier than losing my ex, and I hate the hold and denial drinking had on me, everybody loses something they love.

Dee74

Hi Lockyboy

I'm sorry for your pain - I lost two long term relationships that way...

But...then I met my current partner, sober, so things have a way of working out

D

FLCamper

Good to hear that seeing her did not push you towards alcohol.
There are a lot of stories of love lost due to drinking. I'm sorry you're feeling that loss - it is hard.
Hang onto that silver lining: if that's what it took to sober you up, that's a huge bonus.

bigsombrero

Sorry to hear it, man.

The fact that you're still picking a pub for a meeting place probably didn't do you any favors in her eyes. I'm guessing that bars weren't the only places of business open today. We have all been there - in my case, I went to a pub for lunch (and stuck to cokes) my first day out of rehab. But we've all got to start believing there's a world outside of pubs, because there is no future for us there.

Work on yourself, your sobriety, and your outlook. Don't look back. Thanks for sharing and keep exploring new territory.

Lockyboy

Hi Bigsombrero,

I did arrange to meet at the coffee shop but didn't realise it was shut today as its a public holiday. The town we met up at only has two coffee shops and both were shut, it was my ex who suggested we go for a coke instead.

I've lost my license through drink driving so had to catch the bus too and from the small town we met up in, so didn't have much choice.

Funnily enough., I've never had an issue with pubs and drinking, which she knows, my problem was with drinking a half bottle of vodka almost nightly in secret

Anna

I drank alone at home, usually at night, too. And, I came very close to losing my family. As you said, the denial in alcoholism is huge and it's hard to see things clearly when you're in the clutches of the alcohol.

You have a good chance to change your life at this point and to be the person you want.

DG0409

The regrets can be so hard to deal with. I found a lot of peace at least knowing that if I kept sober I could keep stuff like that from ever happening again.

I feel like I've hit the end of a relationship, and it hurts like crazy... but I'm strangely peaceful at least knowing I don't have any regrets from drinking. Stay sober and it will get better.

Lockyboy

Hi Anna

Glad you managed to throw the switch before you lost your family, just wish I hadn't been so selfish and talking myself into believing everything was all right.

Alcohol has a way of blinding you to what is obvious to everyone else

keeppushing

Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. If I listed all my alcohol related regrets it would take several pages. I bet that's true of everyone. Self-compassion will and looking to the present is probably a better way to go.

KP