bigfle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
bigfle
Had the shittest 5 days ever having missed xmas with my 3 year daughter after falling out with my partner of 6 years when she came home from work to find me drunk.I spent 3 days on a bender in a travelodge only stopping christmas eve because the guilt of not seeing my daughter before xmas day was eating me up.
Reflecting now 3 days sober i'm racked with guilt for not being there to see her open her presents & missing what should have been a happy time with my family.I feel like such a selfish loser & a bad dad to boot.
Reflecting now 3 days sober i'm racked with guilt for not being there to see her open her presents & missing what should have been a happy time with my family.I feel like such a selfish loser & a bad dad to boot.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Northwest Indiana, USA
Posts: 6
Congrats on 3 days! I too am on my third day and had a horrible holiday as well. From reading through the different experiences others have had on here, we are not alone. I hope this can be a turning point in your life.
The insidious insanity continued for me until I used that guilt, shame and remorse as motivation. Remarkably - slowly, I now think of how my actions help or hurt others first (mostly).
Didn't want to continue in that painful, selfish cycle forever. No way to live......
Welcome, glad you're posting here - you're in the right place. Most of us have felt like you do at one time friend.
Didn't want to continue in that painful, selfish cycle forever. No way to live......
Welcome, glad you're posting here - you're in the right place. Most of us have felt like you do at one time friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
Pre xmas bender
I feel like a wounded animal at the moment & can't talk to any one close about how mashed my head is.I did start seeing a counsellor last month for binge drinking & tried to get in touch when i carried on drinking on the 2nd day for a bit of guidance but she was off on the sick.It takes me about a week normally to sort my head & rid myself of my guilt & low self esteem from a mega binge like this!!
Welcome Bigfle have you thought about meetings and writing up a plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
Recovering
I'm going to carry on with my counselling & attend meetings( i've been offered acupuncture, don't know how that would help though)... i can go for months sober battering the gym & living a reasonable healthy life even controlling my drinking fairy well then bang, i go off the rails for 3 or 4 days & reach the point of despair... being parted from my daughter & love ones this xmas has definately been the final straw in my bingeing career, being on here and shareing this story has actually helped my through today thanks!!
Welcome bigfle
Going to the gym and sharing your story here are both good things - but maybe you need a little more to help you get out of the long term cycle you're in?
I'm not selling anything or pushing anything on you but this link is pretty good for making up a recovery plan
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
Going to the gym and sharing your story here are both good things - but maybe you need a little more to help you get out of the long term cycle you're in?
I'm not selling anything or pushing anything on you but this link is pretty good for making up a recovery plan
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
The insidious insanity continued for me until I used that guilt, shame and remorse as motivation. Remarkably - slowly, I now think of how my actions help or hurt others first (mostly).
Didn't want to continue in that painful, selfish cycle forever. No way to live......
Welcome, glad you're posting here - you're in the right place. Most of us have felt like you do at one time friend.
Didn't want to continue in that painful, selfish cycle forever. No way to live......
Welcome, glad you're posting here - you're in the right place. Most of us have felt like you do at one time friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 15
Hi Bigfle and welcome to SR.
I used to cringe when I woke up from my bingeing! The regret, loss of memory, injuries, to name a few.
So glad I got away from all that. You can too! There is life after booze!
I used to cringe when I woke up from my bingeing! The regret, loss of memory, injuries, to name a few.
So glad I got away from all that. You can too! There is life after booze!
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