Day 3
Day 3
Day 3 today. I almost caved last night and went out to buy a bottle of rum. There are a lot of things going on that not many people know about i.e. My adult children. 24 & 21. I am lucky in the fact my x and I are still friends and I can talk to him openly. My son, 21 yrs old, is back from Florida for Christmas and I highly doubt he will come see me. My daughter who I have always been there for suddenly stopped talking to me and I am not sure why. The one thing they both wanted was for my fiancé/boyfriend out of my life. That happened. He moved out. He wasn't good for me anyway he is an alcoholic. Which he admits but also says he will never quit. I will quit rambling lol
Anyway I am grateful to be sober today.
Anyway I am grateful to be sober today.
Garden and pines;
I know I sound like a broken record sometimes,
but I truly believe you can rebuild your relationship with your children
by staying sober for good and building a solid recovery foundation--not just not drinking.
Show them who you are sober, and they will, over time, want to know the "real" you.
When you grow up with an alcoholic parent, trust doesn't come easy as betrayal and lack of emotional safety are the rule, not the exception.
Unfortunately, my mother never managed to stay sober, and her lapses
made it harder and harder for me to ever have faith I could be close to her.
Yet she always expected me to engage with her emotionally even after brief periods of sobriety,
and she would be upset and angry when I was unable (and later unwilling) to do so.
Don't make the same mistake she did.
This is why you have to be patient and not push your kids--
show them you are trustworthy over time by working on healing yourself.
Staying sober no matter what is the critical first step of this process.
If you are willing enough, and work enough, the rest will fall into place.
I know I sound like a broken record sometimes,
but I truly believe you can rebuild your relationship with your children
by staying sober for good and building a solid recovery foundation--not just not drinking.
Show them who you are sober, and they will, over time, want to know the "real" you.
When you grow up with an alcoholic parent, trust doesn't come easy as betrayal and lack of emotional safety are the rule, not the exception.
Unfortunately, my mother never managed to stay sober, and her lapses
made it harder and harder for me to ever have faith I could be close to her.
Yet she always expected me to engage with her emotionally even after brief periods of sobriety,
and she would be upset and angry when I was unable (and later unwilling) to do so.
Don't make the same mistake she did.
This is why you have to be patient and not push your kids--
show them you are trustworthy over time by working on healing yourself.
Staying sober no matter what is the critical first step of this process.
If you are willing enough, and work enough, the rest will fall into place.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 320
Congratulations on three days sober! I know your mind will distract you with all kinds of things when you quit. It's part of how we conditioned ourselves to drink (IMO). Try and relax and take care of yourself and everything will gradually start to feel better.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6
Only on day 4 myself. But I've also lost a lot of connections with family and friends from drinking. Worse though I had lost a connection with myself, what I wanted out of life. I only lived for the next drink. We can do this! As we heal our lives, one day at a time, everything will work itself out!
I'm sorry for your pain Garden, but the other guys here are right - not only will drinking not help it will probably make things worse....
I've seen a lot of fences mended over the years, but that's only possible with continued sobriety.
stay with us,
D
I've seen a lot of fences mended over the years, but that's only possible with continued sobriety.
stay with us,
D
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