Girlfriend of 5 years drinking problem has been getting worse, I don't know how to help.
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Girlfriend of 5 years drinking problem has been getting worse, I don't know how to help.
I met my current gf about 5 years ago, I'm 27 she's 30. We met at a go go bar where she was a dancer ( Bikini only , not nude) and I was a bouncer. I never dated a dancer nor would I ever see myself dating one. We began to hangout outside of work and I began to see she was a great person "outside of the bar" we shared many of the same hobbies, playing sports and became best friends and ended up dating. The first year we dated was the best ever for us both until she started to question if she wanted to continue dating and wanted to take a break, we were living at my moms condo at the time so maybe we were just spending too much time together, so she wanted to take a break from us. I ended up sleeping with another girl that worked where we had worked then she decided she wanted for us to be together a few days later. I never told her and a few months later she found out. (Horrible mistake on my end) she had always drank a lot from the time I met her, getting drunk about 5 nights a week and not remembering a lot of things that we did after work, which made me worry. So we have been dating on and off for the last 4 years because of what I did she claims. We both always fall back to each other but her drinking is still the same, actually way worse. She's gotta 3 drunk in publics and 1 DUI. I've found her at 5am chocking on her own vomit with her eyes rolled back and had to call for a ambulance Due to being completely unresponsive, she didn't remember a thing the next day. So fast forwarding to the past few months she's still a dancer and has a 21yo dancer Roomate that does drugs for sure and gets drunk with her about 5 nights a week. She stays up til 6-7am "hanging with friends" after work which all her friends do Coke and who knows what else. She swares she doesn't do Coke because it makes her so sick the next day. She ignores me the entire night while at work and after. I never know if she is in jail, hospital, out partying or even dead. She has a 9yo son that lives in another state with the father. She's had a horrible up bringing with her dad, and had to live in foster homes. I love her deeply and her son also I am seriously worried she is going to end up dead or doing some hard drugs. I don't want to let her go I want her to stop drinking and be the great mother she is when her son is here visiting. She is an amazing person when sobar but turns crazy and has no self respect when drunk. I need her to realize she's too old and has too much (her son) to loose due to her drinking and partying. What should I do? Give up and let her go or keep fighting?
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I'm so sorry you are going through this . She needs urgent help, but she clearly has to want it.
Nothing will change unless she wants it. I'd say choking on your own vomit and needing an ambulance is close to rock bottom.
She sounds really sick.
Perhaps you could see a drug and alcohol councellor together & if she won't go , perhaps go on your own.
I hope she survives this , I truly do . It's a lot harder than you think .
Good luck ️xxx
Nothing will change unless she wants it. I'd say choking on your own vomit and needing an ambulance is close to rock bottom.
She sounds really sick.
Perhaps you could see a drug and alcohol councellor together & if she won't go , perhaps go on your own.
I hope she survives this , I truly do . It's a lot harder than you think .
Good luck ️xxx
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Thanks for your response and she asked me the other day if I think she needed help and I said yes then the next day didn't seem to care, I'm guessing she was just hungover and had a rough night.
She can go days without drinking like when her son comes to visit but she gets drunk everynight she works because she says it makes it easier to do that type of work and make more money. Then when she's off work she tends to go out with her friends and drink. There are some nights she won't drink at all but again when she does drink there's no limits just goes and goes.
She can go days without drinking like when her son comes to visit but she gets drunk everynight she works because she says it makes it easier to do that type of work and make more money. Then when she's off work she tends to go out with her friends and drink. There are some nights she won't drink at all but again when she does drink there's no limits just goes and goes.
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I don't want to let her go I want her to stop drinking and be the great mother she is when her son is here visiting.
Problem here, and with most significant others of alcoholics, is you want more for her than she wants for herself.
If 4 years after the fact she is still using that you slept with someone else while you were broken up as a reason to hold you at arms length, I think its time you realized that you have more problems here than just her drinking.
Its common to separate out the drunk person and the sober person,then cling to the idea of the sober person, or excuse the actions of the drunk person because the sober person is such a great person. This is a mistake. She is not two people. She is one person with a major problem (s). The Sober person and the Drunk person is the same person, its a package deal. There is no separation of the two, nor is the sober person necessarily whom she really is. Alcoholism is so deeply rooted in the brain that the non-drinking addict is still affected by alcoholic thinking even when they aren't drinking.
Since she is drunk most of the time it seems, hanging out with friends 5 nights a week ignoring you (and I wouldn't believe he too much about not doing drugs, addicts are liars), what are you getting out of this relationship except scraps and a lot of headaches?
Clearly you want her to get her act together, and yes, it would be to her benefit to do so. I see nothing indicative that she has any intention to. She is acquiring quite the rap sheet as well. She is heading toward 30, has a child that she doesn't have custody of, 3 public drunks, 1 DUI, and is still dancing (no judgment at all, but its a terrible environment for alcoholic/addict).
What does your future look like with this ^^^^^^^?
Problem here, and with most significant others of alcoholics, is you want more for her than she wants for herself.
If 4 years after the fact she is still using that you slept with someone else while you were broken up as a reason to hold you at arms length, I think its time you realized that you have more problems here than just her drinking.
Its common to separate out the drunk person and the sober person,then cling to the idea of the sober person, or excuse the actions of the drunk person because the sober person is such a great person. This is a mistake. She is not two people. She is one person with a major problem (s). The Sober person and the Drunk person is the same person, its a package deal. There is no separation of the two, nor is the sober person necessarily whom she really is. Alcoholism is so deeply rooted in the brain that the non-drinking addict is still affected by alcoholic thinking even when they aren't drinking.
Since she is drunk most of the time it seems, hanging out with friends 5 nights a week ignoring you (and I wouldn't believe he too much about not doing drugs, addicts are liars), what are you getting out of this relationship except scraps and a lot of headaches?
Clearly you want her to get her act together, and yes, it would be to her benefit to do so. I see nothing indicative that she has any intention to. She is acquiring quite the rap sheet as well. She is heading toward 30, has a child that she doesn't have custody of, 3 public drunks, 1 DUI, and is still dancing (no judgment at all, but its a terrible environment for alcoholic/addict).
What does your future look like with this ^^^^^^^?
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Ls,
Welcome, and good for you for reaching out. First thing she does need help and she does have a drinking problem. Now that we validate that, there is nothing you can do about it. There is no sheet of paper on how to get your loved one sober and live happily ever after, I am sorry.
There is information on how we can educate our selves on addiction, help ourselves, and we can live happily ever after, with or without the addict in our life. That information we can help you with. Read the stickies above talking about dealing with an addict. Hit an alanon meeting and keep posting on sr. That is how you can slowly change and not accept unacceptable behavior.
Hugs my friend, there is help for you if you choose to want it.
Welcome, and good for you for reaching out. First thing she does need help and she does have a drinking problem. Now that we validate that, there is nothing you can do about it. There is no sheet of paper on how to get your loved one sober and live happily ever after, I am sorry.
There is information on how we can educate our selves on addiction, help ourselves, and we can live happily ever after, with or without the addict in our life. That information we can help you with. Read the stickies above talking about dealing with an addict. Hit an alanon meeting and keep posting on sr. That is how you can slowly change and not accept unacceptable behavior.
Hugs my friend, there is help for you if you choose to want it.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
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Since she is drunk most of the time it seems, hanging out with friends 5 nights a week ignoring you (and I wouldn't believe he too much about not doing drugs, addicts are liars), what are you getting out of this relationship except scraps and a lot of headaches?
Clearly you want her to get her act together, and yes, it would be to her benefit to do so. I see nothing indicative that she has any intention to. She is acquiring quite the rap sheet as well. She is heading toward 30, has a child that she doesn't have custody of, 3 public drunks, 1 DUI, and is still dancing (no judgment at all, but its a terrible environment for alcoholic/addict).
^^ I'm with Red on this^^
What's the appeal here? What are you getting out of being in a relationship with this girl?
You are a young man with a whole life ahead of you......it's time to move forward.
Ro
Clearly you want her to get her act together, and yes, it would be to her benefit to do so. I see nothing indicative that she has any intention to. She is acquiring quite the rap sheet as well. She is heading toward 30, has a child that she doesn't have custody of, 3 public drunks, 1 DUI, and is still dancing (no judgment at all, but its a terrible environment for alcoholic/addict).
^^ I'm with Red on this^^
What's the appeal here? What are you getting out of being in a relationship with this girl?
You are a young man with a whole life ahead of you......it's time to move forward.
Ro
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You're getting great feedback here. We can't "save" the people we care about. Maintaining a dating relationship with this woman will not help her, and it will drag you down with her.
There are reasons you don't live the way she does, right? You don't want to be sick, blacked out, in jail. Well, if you stay with her you get the joy of experiencing all those lovely scenarios vicariously. Without the anesthesia of a high to numb you to all of it.
I think I'd be looking for a job somewhere else, if I were you. Part of your job, I would assume, at a place like this, is to PROTECT the dancers from the drunken jerks who would be pawing and grabbing them. Your job puts you in the position of protecting THIS dancer on a nightly basis. I think it would be much easier to let go of the relationship if you were in a different environment. And it might help you, personally, to find a job where you don't have to assume such a protective role with the same young women on a regular basis. You sound like a nice guy, but it's easy for nice, caring people to get sucked into inappropriate caretaking roles with other people. Think about it.
There are reasons you don't live the way she does, right? You don't want to be sick, blacked out, in jail. Well, if you stay with her you get the joy of experiencing all those lovely scenarios vicariously. Without the anesthesia of a high to numb you to all of it.
I think I'd be looking for a job somewhere else, if I were you. Part of your job, I would assume, at a place like this, is to PROTECT the dancers from the drunken jerks who would be pawing and grabbing them. Your job puts you in the position of protecting THIS dancer on a nightly basis. I think it would be much easier to let go of the relationship if you were in a different environment. And it might help you, personally, to find a job where you don't have to assume such a protective role with the same young women on a regular basis. You sound like a nice guy, but it's easy for nice, caring people to get sucked into inappropriate caretaking roles with other people. Think about it.
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Lshatch.....the best thing that you can do for her, and yourself, is to end the relationship. It is damaging both of you.
I recommend that you get a copy of "Co-dependent No More".....and, read it from cover to cover.
There are tons of people who will help her.....AA and all the members...Rehab.....
Counselors....therapists..... But, you are exactly the person who Can't......
You will have to face the short-term pain for the long-term gain......
You are going to need as much help on your own side of the street as she does on hers.......
This is just the reality of it......living life on life's terms.....
dandylion
I recommend that you get a copy of "Co-dependent No More".....and, read it from cover to cover.
There are tons of people who will help her.....AA and all the members...Rehab.....
Counselors....therapists..... But, you are exactly the person who Can't......
You will have to face the short-term pain for the long-term gain......
You are going to need as much help on your own side of the street as she does on hers.......
This is just the reality of it......living life on life's terms.....
dandylion
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,243
Safety nets
Sadly relationships with the suffering alcoholic tend to become extremely manipulative and abusive to the person that is their safety net.
Without realizing it the alcoholic trains us to allow them to continue to drink and still hang on to the lifeline.
After four years chasing my A with a fire extinguisher a pair Huggies and a broom as you describe I was paralyzed that he would die if I didn't keep fighting for his life.
Four years later I can tell you that after we split up and I put a boundary of one year sober in order to even have a date nothing changed.
He drank like a fish whether I was there or not and he still got in and out of hospitals and jails without my help.
My experience strength and hope to you is to develop some boundaries and some space. Keep coming back to the website, read the stickies, check out some Al-Anon meetings and find a counselor for yourself alone.
If you think about it nothings changed in the past years so try something new and that's take care of you. It might be enough to at least get her thinking and having to deal with the consequences on her own may be life-changing.
Or maybe not. Because it's out of your control and she has to make her own decision and act on it to get help. And that help will come from professional people or fellow alcoholics that can help her find her own way out.
Without realizing it the alcoholic trains us to allow them to continue to drink and still hang on to the lifeline.
After four years chasing my A with a fire extinguisher a pair Huggies and a broom as you describe I was paralyzed that he would die if I didn't keep fighting for his life.
Four years later I can tell you that after we split up and I put a boundary of one year sober in order to even have a date nothing changed.
He drank like a fish whether I was there or not and he still got in and out of hospitals and jails without my help.
My experience strength and hope to you is to develop some boundaries and some space. Keep coming back to the website, read the stickies, check out some Al-Anon meetings and find a counselor for yourself alone.
If you think about it nothings changed in the past years so try something new and that's take care of you. It might be enough to at least get her thinking and having to deal with the consequences on her own may be life-changing.
Or maybe not. Because it's out of your control and she has to make her own decision and act on it to get help. And that help will come from professional people or fellow alcoholics that can help her find her own way out.
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Thanks for all the help and advice everyone!! Her son is coming this weekend for the holidays for a week so It will be a nice break from her drinking and working. Would it be a good idea to suggest for her to seek a rehab or a therapist for her issues being its the new year maybe she will have some hope and after being sobar for a week hopefully she would want to have a fresh start for the new year. Or it could go the complete opposite way as it has in the past and she gets very sad and down when her son leaves ( the father is very hard to deal with and very greedy, making it harder on her to see him) and starts drinking a lot. I would just like to give her 1 final chance kinda explaining to her it's the new year, time for a change or your going to loose me 100% meaning no Communication as we would always make small talk in the past if we were broken up for periods of time. But make her see the bigger picture and see what all she will be giving up if not seeking help. And what I'm afraid of is giving up on her 100% then her being with others and realizing how much I did love her and how much I put up with and helped her out in life then maybe that would make her want to change, which at that point it would be too late because I would have given up. Just feel so lost to sum it up. It's so hard for me to give up on her, it does seem like that's what is going to end up happening in the near future.
Also I haven't worked as a bouncer for the strip club in a few years so that's no longer an issue.
Also I haven't worked as a bouncer for the strip club in a few years so that's no longer an issue.
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Or it could go the complete opposite way as it has in the past and she gets very sad and down when her son leaves ( the father is very hard to deal with and very greedy, making it harder on her to see him) and starts drinking a lot.
I wouldn't come down too hard on the father. I just resolved a protracted custody case with my alcoholic ex. He wasted a lot of energy badmouthing me, ranting about child support and pretending to have his drinking under control. If he had spent that energy actually getting help for his alcoholism, he wouldn't be in the position that he's in right now. Protecting children from an alcoholic parent is extremely difficult and heartbreaking, both for the child and the sober parent.
Think carefully about how many of her problems she is creating for herself, and how much time and effort she spends actually working to resolve them, as opposed to wallowing in a drunken pity party.
How many final chances have you given her?
I wouldn't come down too hard on the father. I just resolved a protracted custody case with my alcoholic ex. He wasted a lot of energy badmouthing me, ranting about child support and pretending to have his drinking under control. If he had spent that energy actually getting help for his alcoholism, he wouldn't be in the position that he's in right now. Protecting children from an alcoholic parent is extremely difficult and heartbreaking, both for the child and the sober parent.
Think carefully about how many of her problems she is creating for herself, and how much time and effort she spends actually working to resolve them, as opposed to wallowing in a drunken pity party.
How many final chances have you given her?
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Welcome LS.
This must be a very painful situation for you however with alcoholics/addicts it doesn't matter how many chances you give them; they need to figure it out on their own. No matter how wonderful you are (and you sound like a great guy), you are competing with an addiction. To a non-addict your idea of another chance makes total sense but alcoholics don't think this way.
Please keep posting and take care of yourself. You deserve and need your own care and consideration.
This must be a very painful situation for you however with alcoholics/addicts it doesn't matter how many chances you give them; they need to figure it out on their own. No matter how wonderful you are (and you sound like a great guy), you are competing with an addiction. To a non-addict your idea of another chance makes total sense but alcoholics don't think this way.
Please keep posting and take care of yourself. You deserve and need your own care and consideration.
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I've givin her a few but never asking her to go to rehab or seek help. And the father got custody of him because he went there for the summer about 3 years ago and be pulled a shady legal move to gain custody and child support from her and that had nothing to do with her drinking or anything just a shady move he pulled pretty much took advantage of her letting him stay an extra month one summer. And she's not an alcoholic like can't go a day without drinking it's more that she drinks so much, blacks out and doesn't remember things constantly not just once in a while, to me it's very scary to hear her say she can't remember how she got home or where she went to eat after work etc. a few days ago she asked me if I thought she needed rehab which to me gave me so much hope just hearing that come from her. But I know words are words I want to see action. I just pray that she will want to better herself and make a change. All my friends say I'm crazy for sticking around that there's so many other girls which is true but I deeply love her and have such high hope.
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Not all alcoholics drink every day. And, until it has progressed further, it's sometimes possible to "control" it for discrete periods (e.g., while her son is there for a week), but not over the long term. But it DOES progress, inevitably.
I will tell you one thing that's true--there's nothing you can do to make her WANT to get sober. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself. I'd suggest you find an Al-Anon group. That can help you keep your focus on your own side of the street. You can certainly SUGGEST she go to rehab or AA, and you can certainly leave if she makes no move toward recovery. Just don't expect your actions to fix her.
I will tell you one thing that's true--there's nothing you can do to make her WANT to get sober. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself. I'd suggest you find an Al-Anon group. That can help you keep your focus on your own side of the street. You can certainly SUGGEST she go to rehab or AA, and you can certainly leave if she makes no move toward recovery. Just don't expect your actions to fix her.
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This >>>> "But I know words are words I want to see action."
Ls there are a lot of different ways to be alcoholic and it tends to be a degenerative disease as you have noted.
The best thing you can do for yourself is figure out what you can live with and what you can't. Take care of yourself and read about alcoholism and codependency.
Ls there are a lot of different ways to be alcoholic and it tends to be a degenerative disease as you have noted.
The best thing you can do for yourself is figure out what you can live with and what you can't. Take care of yourself and read about alcoholism and codependency.
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Originally Posted by Lshatch59 
And she's not an alcoholic like can't go a day without drinking it's more that she drinks so much, blacks out and doesn't remember things constantly
By all definitions, your girlfriend is an alcoholic.
What's more, she suffered an extremely traumatic childhood and she has very deep-rooted issues that need to be addressed with intensive counseling... but she needs a sober brain to be able to properly process the feelings and emotions that will come up in counseling, and until she goes through that personal healing process it doesn't sound at all like she will be capable of having a healthy, functional relationship - not with herself, and certainly not with anyone else.
If she's getting blitzed drunk 5 times a week like you said earlier, then consider her son LUCKY that he isn't growing up in that environment, because her alcoholism would revisit all the trauma that she endured growing up and place it back on to her son.
I know you've got feelings for this woman, but don't let them overpower your sense of self respect and dignity. If she does not desire change, your job isn't to try to change her, it is to follow your own personal moral code and find someone who more closely aligns with your lifestyle beliefs. Happy relationships don't happen by changing someone to be what you want them to be, they happen by finding people who are ALREADY what you want and being able to appreciate them completely - including their flaws.
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Very true thank you!! And I didn't know her when she had her son (full custody) but from what I have seen anytime she is with him or he's here she's an amazing person and remains sobar. That person is who I want her to be all the time I feel a huge reason she does drink so much is because the father took Full custody of her son which was her everything (still is but he's 1,000 miles away) so I don't think she would have this issue if she still had him all the time, it breaks my heart to see how sad they both are anytime he has to go back home to his father. Also non of her friends are supportive as far as seeing she has a serious problem they all drink with her and what I think influence or encourage Her to "have fun" and do as she wishes with no concern.
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But she is an adult, and if she chooses to drink and party instead of work towards getting the custody conditions changed with her son,
or getting her life together, she has that right.
I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and now I'm battling alcoholism myself.
From both sides of the fence, I can assure you that one week of sobriety is pretty easy to pull off,
so don't assume she would be "sober mom" if she did have custody.
She's been abusing alcohol a long time now--it is her way of coping
with feelings she doesn't want to feel and it is her escape. That wouldn't just
"stop" if she had her son. There would be a whole new set of difficulties raising
a child along with the deep-seated issues you say she's carrying from her own childhood.
Putting a child in the midst of that process could be devastating to the child and could go terribly wrong.
Beyond that, her actions are what count. She has shown no interest in quitting or tried to quit thus far, correct?
As an alcoholic, I can promise you that unless she wants it more than anything,
sobriety will not magically happen even if she does go into treatment in response
to your ultimatum of "me or drinking".
She will probably end up resenting you, and most likely be drinking again within a few months.
That's the typical pattern for most---of course, recovery is possible,
but it must come from her determination and commitment.
Until it does, chances are minimal for success.
It sounds like she's had a very difficult life and plenty of reasons she numbs her pain with booze.
But she does have the right to live as she chooses,
so be fully prepared if she says "no" to treatment and continues to live the way she is right now.
It will get worse over time, as alcoholism is progressive, so you will have to decide
if you want a front row seat to that, or if you need to step back and move on
to protect yourself.
I'm sorry Lshatch--it's very hard to love an addict as too often we don't love ourselves much,
and that hurts us and everyone around us as well.
or getting her life together, she has that right.
I grew up with an alcoholic mother, and now I'm battling alcoholism myself.
From both sides of the fence, I can assure you that one week of sobriety is pretty easy to pull off,
so don't assume she would be "sober mom" if she did have custody.
She's been abusing alcohol a long time now--it is her way of coping
with feelings she doesn't want to feel and it is her escape. That wouldn't just
"stop" if she had her son. There would be a whole new set of difficulties raising
a child along with the deep-seated issues you say she's carrying from her own childhood.
Putting a child in the midst of that process could be devastating to the child and could go terribly wrong.
Beyond that, her actions are what count. She has shown no interest in quitting or tried to quit thus far, correct?
As an alcoholic, I can promise you that unless she wants it more than anything,
sobriety will not magically happen even if she does go into treatment in response
to your ultimatum of "me or drinking".
She will probably end up resenting you, and most likely be drinking again within a few months.
That's the typical pattern for most---of course, recovery is possible,
but it must come from her determination and commitment.
Until it does, chances are minimal for success.
It sounds like she's had a very difficult life and plenty of reasons she numbs her pain with booze.
But she does have the right to live as she chooses,
so be fully prepared if she says "no" to treatment and continues to live the way she is right now.
It will get worse over time, as alcoholism is progressive, so you will have to decide
if you want a front row seat to that, or if you need to step back and move on
to protect yourself.
I'm sorry Lshatch--it's very hard to love an addict as too often we don't love ourselves much,
and that hurts us and everyone around us as well.
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Originally Posted by Lshatch59
Very true thank you!! And I didn't know her when she had her son (full custody) but from what I have seen anytime she is with him or he's here she's an amazing person and remains sobar. That person is who I want her to be all the time I feel a huge reason she does drink so much is because the father took Full custody of her son which was her everything (still is but he's 1,000 miles away) so I don't think she would have this issue if she still had him all the time, it breaks my heart to see how sad they both are anytime he has to go back home to his father. Also non of her friends are supportive as far as seeing she has a serious problem they all drink with her and what I think influence or encourage Her to "have fun" and do as she wishes with no concern.
This is what you have stated in this thread. She drinks because she wants to period, she drinks because she is an alcoholic. You have removed all accountability off her, its not her fault......its true its not her fault she is an alcoholic. It is her fault she won't do something about it 1-million-percent.
Alcoholics don't have to drink everyday. In fact, some can go months without drinking. Some are binge drinkers. That she stays sober while her son is here does not mean she would stay sober if he were here all the time.
Just about everyone on here has tried to love their alcoholic sober to no avail it is NOT POSSIBLE. What yo can do is set boundaries about how you want to live, and enforce them when they are violated.
Until your GF feels the accountability of her actions I doubt anything will change. I imagine now with her public intoxications and DUI there isn't a hope in hell of getting custody back While you feel empathy for her which is understandable, do you not see that nothing is being done to rectify that situation-its only been made worse. She is lucky she still gets to see him at all. You are holding on to things that are not going to happen (change in custody) and actions that have happened (loss of custody) to dismiss poor behavior. This child would suffer if she had full custody, suffer terribly. Please read the ACOA section of the forum and see what happens to children raised in alcoholic homes. Its ugly and is the gift of a lifetime that keeps on giving. Please don't put the responsibility of her sobriety on her child - put it on her where it belongs.
if you want to give her one more chance you need to figure out what it looks like, and decide whether or not you are serious. Because if you verbalize a boundary, then don't enforce it, you have lost the war.
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My friend please stop putting the responsibility for her drinking on others. It is not on her ex, her son, her friends, her job, or you that she is not able to pull her life together. There is no magical circumstance, such as full custody ( i.e., full-time responsibility), that will transform her for a binging alcoholic who drinks to avoid dealing with life on life's terms to a sober, healthy individual who is willing to take responsibility for the consequences of her choices and embrace true change.
As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic Mother, all I can say is it is a good thing that she does not have full custody. Alcoholism is progressive -- unaddressed, it gets worse. Period. Instead of worrying about how other people can change in order to fix her, ask yourself why she is not really willing to take initiative and fix HERSELF. I know she has asked about rehab -- that is nothing, and you know that. If she were serious about recovery she would have GONE.
As an Adult Child of an Alcoholic Mother, all I can say is it is a good thing that she does not have full custody. Alcoholism is progressive -- unaddressed, it gets worse. Period. Instead of worrying about how other people can change in order to fix her, ask yourself why she is not really willing to take initiative and fix HERSELF. I know she has asked about rehab -- that is nothing, and you know that. If she were serious about recovery she would have GONE.
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