C23

So i am laying in bed, crying. I am on day 58 and something is eating at me. Every little thing is bothering me right now. All i can think of is escaping to booze. I have come really close the last couple of days, but i powered through. My wife has a friend who is going to leave her husband because he will not stop drinking, and we have been talking about it a bunch and it is bringing up weird feelings. I am so dissapointed as i thought i was doing so good. Escaping whatever this is isnt helping. I need to get to the root of this. Any advice would be awesome.

Ruby2

You are doing really well. You came here and reached out instead of drinking.

In the beginning, my emotions were all over the place. Some days were far better than others. That is a part of recovery. It's normal. I used to drink to squash uncomfortable feelings and pain. Once I stopped medicating with alcohol I had to relearn how to feel all those things. It's sometimes painfully uncomfortable just healing but it's so worth the effort.

I'm glad you're here. I find stretching good. Or eating ice cream and definitely reaching out to people who have been in my shoes. Hang in there!

Ruby2

Also just realize that they're just feelings. You can examine them, identify what they are and you don't have to drink over them. Just let them be and accept them. That they will come and go. The roller coaster intensity gets less the longer you go without a drink.

Steely

I hope I am responding to the man who is at day 58 and struggling. I can only say that at day 1 as I am you would not want to return to this place. It is a nightmare - take a tip.

Steely

Bellamiaa

You shouldn't be disappointed. You ARE doing good! It's hard and it sucks but you're doing it! Congrats on 58 days. It will get easier. xo

Dee74

I agree with Ruby.

It helped me to think of my mind and body repairing themselves and to know that while I was feeling a mass of feelings, there may not have been any concrete reason for them.

The emotional upheaval will pass Chris - you're doing fine

D

sleepie

Hi C23. So many changes come with sobriety. It is a difficult process. A person can feel so raw. Stay sober, stick with us and see what it brings. The only advice I can give is... like Nike, except "Just Don't"... drink.
Sometimes just refraining from that much is all a person can do.
We are here for you.

Soberwolf

I had days like that it does get better congrats on day 58 your doing fantastic fwiw

Soberwolf

Welcome Steely

C23

No drinks. You are all awesome...as always! Steely, thank you for your kind words. Stick with us, we will get through this!

Hawkeye13

Hi C23
I also had my emotions all over the place in the beginning.
You are doing great, and it will get better and better.

Hang in there and keep posting when you need to for support

Anna

First thing, I love the Signature quote you have from Marianne Williamson. Her words have helped me through a lot.

And, yes, stopping drinking is essential but only the beginning. Recovery is dealing with the underlying issues that brought you to alcoholism. Have faith that you will get through this.

Grizzly18

Take it slow and easy don't drink the answers will come through a sober mind. Please don't throw away 58 days.

SoberInCLE

I think everyone would agree that early sobriety is the hardest. There is nothing weird or wrong with you. A lot of people, including myself, experienced these emotional mood swings. It should get better soon.

rahrah

The only advice I have is 'screw day one!'....you don't wanna go back to day one! Don't give up day 58!!!! You're doing great!
If you're struggling now, imagine how hard it will be to get back to day one....and I know I hate day one.
You're an inspiration to me and many others! Hang in there!

OpenTuning

Hi C23,

I had an episode of anxiety a couple of days ago that really hit me. All my confidence disappeared, I felt a failure, that nobody wanted to speak to me or liked me, that I had no real friends. The works.

But none of that made sense. I couldn't think of anything I'd done that would have upset anyone. I've actually been on a real high for the last few months (been sober 7 months tomorrow). Why would people's opinion of me have changed so abruptly?

At the end of the day, when things hadn't improved, I started writing down my thoughts, trying to figure them out. And came up with the following:

1: I'd had more coffee than normal in the morning, and caffeine in the past has triggered anxiety in me.

2: I'd been talking to my daughters about their school, peer pressure, etc. I'd had a horrible time at school and was bullied myself.

3: I've been reading a book by a psychotherapist about people suffering from anxiety and depression.

4: I'd been to 4 holiday events in 24 hours I would have drunk at in the past, and despite not even considering drinking, and feeling very secure in my sobriety, I think subconsciously that took a toll on me.

Looking at all those things added together, you don't have to be a professional therapist to figure out where that anxiety had come from. And most importantly, that my feelings that nobody liked me weren't real. Our minds can easily play tricks on us. In the early days of sobriety my emotions were all over the place, and as I've just learned the holidays are particularly tough time even if you've got a bit more sober time under your belt.

I hope you'll be able to figure out what might be causing those feelings, and see that things aren't as bad as your mind might be telling you .

Mel12

Good to hear from you Steely.

Steely

Thank you Soberwolf. Still learning this site and get a bit lost so delays are to be expected. Didn't see your welcome until just now. Made it through Christmas Day. I Rock. 😄

PurpleKnight

Fantastic Steely!! Welcome to the Forum!!