Here I Am Again
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Here I Am Again
Hi,
I arrived back from Florida about a week ago. Nothing much has changed with my ah.
I attended my first Alanon meeting this past Saturday, and plan on going again. Got a lot of good information.
Tonight has been a living nightmare!! Was having a good day, baking bread and cookies. My ah was off from work, went out early, wouldn't tell me why. He arrived home early afternoon. My daughter and granddaughter was here. My ah went into the basement, where he stayed for a few hours, and my daughter left shortly after my ah had come home.
My ah came upstairs early evening, went up one side me and down the other!!!
My ah stated many cruel things about me, but I think the most cruel was that my daughter and my grandchildren were not welcome here for Christmas or ever in this house, because it's his house.
I didn't answer him, my ah was getting in my face, stating that he would call her if I didn't answer him. I just walked away upstairs.
My ah followed me upstairs, proceeded to disconnect the landline phone. I asked what he was doing, my ah stated I didn't need the landline phone, because I have my cell.
I went downstairs and asked him why he did it and to please connect it back. My ah stated he did it because he felt like it, and he was not gonna reconnect it.
After asking him manny manny times to put it back on, because I didn't feel safe with it off, I told him I'd call the police.
Again my ah refused and he said call the police they'll just think your crazy.
With much reluctance I called the police. They came down, listened to both our stories, my ah still refused to reconnect the phone. The police asked him to leave the house which he did. My ah is staying at our business tonight.
I did tell the police, I thought he might have been drinking, hard to tell these days, but I don't see him drinking.
Anyways, the police allowed him to drive away, gave me information on domestic violence.
While I was locking up my house in the basement I found a southern comfort bottle, about 1/4 was gone. Wasn't looking for it, just saw it.
Did I do the right thing calling the police?? The verbal a use tonight and then disconnecting the phone was so very cruel, and that was just a small amout of what happened.
Need some advice?? Thank you all.
I arrived back from Florida about a week ago. Nothing much has changed with my ah.
I attended my first Alanon meeting this past Saturday, and plan on going again. Got a lot of good information.
Tonight has been a living nightmare!! Was having a good day, baking bread and cookies. My ah was off from work, went out early, wouldn't tell me why. He arrived home early afternoon. My daughter and granddaughter was here. My ah went into the basement, where he stayed for a few hours, and my daughter left shortly after my ah had come home.
My ah came upstairs early evening, went up one side me and down the other!!!
My ah stated many cruel things about me, but I think the most cruel was that my daughter and my grandchildren were not welcome here for Christmas or ever in this house, because it's his house.
I didn't answer him, my ah was getting in my face, stating that he would call her if I didn't answer him. I just walked away upstairs.
My ah followed me upstairs, proceeded to disconnect the landline phone. I asked what he was doing, my ah stated I didn't need the landline phone, because I have my cell.
I went downstairs and asked him why he did it and to please connect it back. My ah stated he did it because he felt like it, and he was not gonna reconnect it.
After asking him manny manny times to put it back on, because I didn't feel safe with it off, I told him I'd call the police.
Again my ah refused and he said call the police they'll just think your crazy.
With much reluctance I called the police. They came down, listened to both our stories, my ah still refused to reconnect the phone. The police asked him to leave the house which he did. My ah is staying at our business tonight.
I did tell the police, I thought he might have been drinking, hard to tell these days, but I don't see him drinking.
Anyways, the police allowed him to drive away, gave me information on domestic violence.
While I was locking up my house in the basement I found a southern comfort bottle, about 1/4 was gone. Wasn't looking for it, just saw it.
Did I do the right thing calling the police?? The verbal a use tonight and then disconnecting the phone was so very cruel, and that was just a small amout of what happened.
Need some advice?? Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Zircon, you did the right thing to call the police. There is no reason for him to disconnect the landline. To me that would be a form of intimidation, and a reason to fear him. You also stated that was only a small amount of what he did.
I do hope that you get in touch with the DV hotline.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy
I do hope that you get in touch with the DV hotline.
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Zircon, that was a really quick answer that I gave you before. I haven't been following your story that closely and I am sorry for that. I know that you just spent a few weeks in Florida and you had your birthday while you were there. Belated Happy Birthday.
It's when you said "that was only a small amount of what he did", I just wanted to reply quickly.
I was in an abusive relationship. Eh, the phone thing wouldn't have even bothered me, I was so used to stuff like that. I'm not saying that isn't anything to worry about, I'm saying that with the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sometimes physical abuse, the following me around, the circular conversations, trying to reason with someone who is unreasonable, I think you made the right choice there in calling the police. You probably never did this before.
DV hotline 1-800-799-SAFE. There are many people here that you can talk to and you can also call the hotline. I did call the hotline once. You don't have to give them any personal info, you are anonymous. When I called they talked to me for about 2 hours. I just wanted to talk to someone who was not going to be screaming at me.
Just know that we are here for you
(((((hugs)))))
amy
It's when you said "that was only a small amount of what he did", I just wanted to reply quickly.
I was in an abusive relationship. Eh, the phone thing wouldn't have even bothered me, I was so used to stuff like that. I'm not saying that isn't anything to worry about, I'm saying that with the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sometimes physical abuse, the following me around, the circular conversations, trying to reason with someone who is unreasonable, I think you made the right choice there in calling the police. You probably never did this before.
DV hotline 1-800-799-SAFE. There are many people here that you can talk to and you can also call the hotline. I did call the hotline once. You don't have to give them any personal info, you are anonymous. When I called they talked to me for about 2 hours. I just wanted to talk to someone who was not going to be screaming at me.
Just know that we are here for you
(((((hugs)))))
amy
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
They saw the guns. He presented very well. Told them I was crazy. Not sure who they believed. I told them what happened. In front of them, he refused to put the phone back on and wouldn't give them a reason. I just feel so numb!!! Feeling guilty I called the police, but I tried not to answer him. My ah wanted to pick a fight, so used my daughter. Then when I walked away, he disconnected the phone. Still can't believe my heart bleeds for him!! No, I've never called the police before, so is probably why I'm feeling this way. Actually sick too my stomach.
They saw the guns. He presented very well. Told them I was crazy. Not sure who they believed. I told them what happened. In front of them, he refused to put the phone back on and wouldn't give them a reason. I just feel so numb!!! Feeling guilty I called the police, but I tried not to answer him. My ah wanted to pick a fight, so used my daughter. Then when I walked away, he disconnected the phone. Still can't believe my heart bleeds for him!! No, I've never called the police before, so is probably why I'm feeling this way. Actually sick too my stomach.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Zircon, I'm not doing too much tomorrow, if you need to talk, I can stay up with you.
I do know how it feels when you question yourself as to if you are even sane anymore. I was married for 27 years and this was my life.
I was told many times that I was crazy, and he told many people that I was crazy, and yes, you are absolutely right that he used your daughter to start a fight with you, the thing is, there was a war already going on in his head and he needed someone to blame for it.
I do know how it feels when you question yourself as to if you are even sane anymore. I was married for 27 years and this was my life.
I was told many times that I was crazy, and he told many people that I was crazy, and yes, you are absolutely right that he used your daughter to start a fight with you, the thing is, there was a war already going on in his head and he needed someone to blame for it.
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Location: Pa
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I'm going to leave you with this tonight.
Sometimes, don't blame the alcohol for someones behavior. I am an RA . 1/4 bottle of southern comfort, (not that that was my drink) would not make me abusive. From the posts that I did read of yours, he is almost always abusive. Not saying here that he isn't drinking from sunrise to sunset, what I am saying is that there could be things in his behavior that are not alcohol related.
Have you read the book, "Why Does He Do That", by Lundy Bancroft?
Also from your posts I get that most of the times you try to walk away those conversations. Now it seems like you are telling him that you can't live like that any longer. That will make him escalate. He needs to feel in control, and to him that might feel like you are trying to take control away from him. I'm not discouraging this, I am just cautioning you here about this. That was why I was encouraging you to call the DV hotline.
I'm here for you
(((((hugs)))))
amy
Sometimes, don't blame the alcohol for someones behavior. I am an RA . 1/4 bottle of southern comfort, (not that that was my drink) would not make me abusive. From the posts that I did read of yours, he is almost always abusive. Not saying here that he isn't drinking from sunrise to sunset, what I am saying is that there could be things in his behavior that are not alcohol related.
Have you read the book, "Why Does He Do That", by Lundy Bancroft?
Also from your posts I get that most of the times you try to walk away those conversations. Now it seems like you are telling him that you can't live like that any longer. That will make him escalate. He needs to feel in control, and to him that might feel like you are trying to take control away from him. I'm not discouraging this, I am just cautioning you here about this. That was why I was encouraging you to call the DV hotline.
I'm here for you
(((((hugs)))))
amy
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Thank you. I'm just so unsure of myself. Not sure I'm doing the right thing. Not really sure what the right thing is anymore. My ah throws up in my face that I have no friends, all my friends were his first! Another comment he made that he has book on me. he said tonight that he'll burn the house down before he'll let me have it. Also that I should have died when I had my brain hemmorage a few years ago, he wish I stayed in Florida. Also accused me of lying about going to Alanon, the reason is because his sister knows I'm lying about going to meetings.
Despite all this, I still feel compassion for this man, when I know every word coming out of his mouth is to hurt me!
Despite all this, I still feel compassion for this man, when I know every word coming out of his mouth is to hurt me!
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Me again,
I was very torn about calling the police, but not sure how far he was going to go. I had walked away and he followed me, disconnected the phone because his statements didn't get a rise out of me.
I don't like the fact that he feels so in control, that he can tell me who can come to our house and that I can't do my daughters laundry without asking him, and the answer to that is no. And not having her for Christmas. To me that is the scariest part of this whole situation is the control and his anger.
I was very torn about calling the police, but not sure how far he was going to go. I had walked away and he followed me, disconnected the phone because his statements didn't get a rise out of me.
I don't like the fact that he feels so in control, that he can tell me who can come to our house and that I can't do my daughters laundry without asking him, and the answer to that is no. And not having her for Christmas. To me that is the scariest part of this whole situation is the control and his anger.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
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I was also told that the only reason that I had any friends was because they were his friends. It's kinda funny in a way, that I guess it was his friends that took me in so that I could get out.
I went through 2 cancers, he took such good care of me, and then he told me it was only because of how he would look to others if he didn't.
See, I questioned the compassion I had for him, but only after I left. I don't know if it was compassion or love, I thought it was, I'm not really sure. I think we get so used to "walking on eggshells", (BTW, another good book), and that we are always trying to make things better, that sometimes we confuse compassion and love, with trauma bonding.
They are not always mean, they can also be nice, and we hold onto that fantasy, that they changed, and we just want that so bad. Sometimes it lasts for a month, or sometimes only a day, and during those times we see the person that we fell in love with, but then it changes back to the horror.
I went through 2 cancers, he took such good care of me, and then he told me it was only because of how he would look to others if he didn't.
See, I questioned the compassion I had for him, but only after I left. I don't know if it was compassion or love, I thought it was, I'm not really sure. I think we get so used to "walking on eggshells", (BTW, another good book), and that we are always trying to make things better, that sometimes we confuse compassion and love, with trauma bonding.
They are not always mean, they can also be nice, and we hold onto that fantasy, that they changed, and we just want that so bad. Sometimes it lasts for a month, or sometimes only a day, and during those times we see the person that we fell in love with, but then it changes back to the horror.
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Originally Posted by Zircon 
Me again,
I was very torn about calling the police, but not sure how far he was going to go. I had walked away and he followed me, disconnected the phone because his statements didn't get a rise out of me.
I don't like the fact that he feels so in control, that he can tell me who can come to our house and that I can't do my daughters laundry without asking him, and the answer to that is no. And not having her for Christmas. To me that is the scariest part of this whole situation is the control and his anger.
I was very torn about calling the police, but not sure how far he was going to go. I had walked away and he followed me, disconnected the phone because his statements didn't get a rise out of me.
I don't like the fact that he feels so in control, that he can tell me who can come to our house and that I can't do my daughters laundry without asking him, and the answer to that is no. And not having her for Christmas. To me that is the scariest part of this whole situation is the control and his anger.
Calling the cops, you needed to do that. I can understand you feeling torn about that, I felt that way also, and I spent the night in the ER room.
Have you ever opened up to others about this? It really is hard to talk about the first time that you are finally reaching out to others.
Remember, here for you, and there are many others on this forum that also went through similar things.
Keep reaching out
(((((hugs)))))
amy
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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Haven't slept all night. My mind is thinking about the events of last night, and if I could have done anything different. I'm still having a hard time forgiving myself for calling the police on my ah.
I don't know what set him off. The rage in him toward me last night scarried me. My ah was in my face, and relentless, almost in an interrogating way.
The paranoia regarding me lying to him about Alanon, all of his friends thinking I'm sabotaging our business, that I don't what it to be successful.
What I don't understand is when my ah stated he has book on me, and affidavits, and at 7:15pm, my ah stated he was texting his lawyer. What divorce lawyer would text a client at that time???
I think it was his rage and anger, trying to pick a fight with me, or wanting me to cry and beg his forgiveness. I didn't engage him, so he started on my daughter. Then the phone. I wasn't sure what my ah was gonna do next.
Not sure the best thing was to call the police though, feeling guilty but scarried.
I'm not going into the business today. My ah and I work together. He did say to me last night, that if I set foot into the business, he'd make my life miserable. How can the 2 men in that building see what he does and not say anything.
My ah continues to tell me I hate those 2 men. They think I'm crazy and a few other things. Of course, my ah is feeding them stuff about me. Frankly, those men obviously mean something to my ah. I told him, I don't hate them, why would I?
I guess I'm rambling, lack of sleep.
Not sure what today will bring. Not sure what is gonna happen. Will he come home tonight?? If he does, what do I do?
I don't know what set him off. The rage in him toward me last night scarried me. My ah was in my face, and relentless, almost in an interrogating way.
The paranoia regarding me lying to him about Alanon, all of his friends thinking I'm sabotaging our business, that I don't what it to be successful.
What I don't understand is when my ah stated he has book on me, and affidavits, and at 7:15pm, my ah stated he was texting his lawyer. What divorce lawyer would text a client at that time???
I think it was his rage and anger, trying to pick a fight with me, or wanting me to cry and beg his forgiveness. I didn't engage him, so he started on my daughter. Then the phone. I wasn't sure what my ah was gonna do next.
Not sure the best thing was to call the police though, feeling guilty but scarried.
I'm not going into the business today. My ah and I work together. He did say to me last night, that if I set foot into the business, he'd make my life miserable. How can the 2 men in that building see what he does and not say anything.
My ah continues to tell me I hate those 2 men. They think I'm crazy and a few other things. Of course, my ah is feeding them stuff about me. Frankly, those men obviously mean something to my ah. I told him, I don't hate them, why would I?
I guess I'm rambling, lack of sleep.
Not sure what today will bring. Not sure what is gonna happen. Will he come home tonight?? If he does, what do I do?
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I am really sorry for what happened.
You needed to call the police, K? This is not normal behavior. Its scary behavior. Your AH has done quite a number on you that you question your sanity. That is what abusers do - its common. Its a means to make you doubt yourself and become weak to them.
First things: You need to stop taking what he says as being remotely truthful. The book and all that is made up. Even if he had one WHO CARES? In your mind everyone sees you as crazy. You would probably be surprised that when people are not emotionally involved with something, and not being a abused, they see things quite clearly. Do you really think you are the only one who knows he is an alcoholic? Do you think that no one observes outrageous behavior and drunken antics? Do you think you are the only one he rages at?
"I don't know what set him off" Nothing. And, that's a problem. Big one. His Alcoholism and abuse are progressing. I also think he has some underlying metal issues there is evidence of that, of course I can't say for sure.
What to do? I think you need to call a DV hotline. You also need to reach out to some folks and let them know what is happening. If it were me I would find someplace else to stay pronto.
I'm sorry you feel compassion for him, that is a cycle of abuse. I think Amy and some of the others can help you with that. I feel no compassion for him at all. You are dealing with a person who was drunk most likely, and refused to cooperate with police somewhat. That's pretty frightening to me that he refused to hook the phone lines back up when the police were there.
I think you need a plan my friend. I don't see anything good coming out of this, what I see is the situation escalating. Please don't mess with him, he is a loose canon. ((hugs)).
You needed to call the police, K? This is not normal behavior. Its scary behavior. Your AH has done quite a number on you that you question your sanity. That is what abusers do - its common. Its a means to make you doubt yourself and become weak to them.
First things: You need to stop taking what he says as being remotely truthful. The book and all that is made up. Even if he had one WHO CARES? In your mind everyone sees you as crazy. You would probably be surprised that when people are not emotionally involved with something, and not being a abused, they see things quite clearly. Do you really think you are the only one who knows he is an alcoholic? Do you think that no one observes outrageous behavior and drunken antics? Do you think you are the only one he rages at?
"I don't know what set him off" Nothing. And, that's a problem. Big one. His Alcoholism and abuse are progressing. I also think he has some underlying metal issues there is evidence of that, of course I can't say for sure.
What to do? I think you need to call a DV hotline. You also need to reach out to some folks and let them know what is happening. If it were me I would find someplace else to stay pronto.
I'm sorry you feel compassion for him, that is a cycle of abuse. I think Amy and some of the others can help you with that. I feel no compassion for him at all. You are dealing with a person who was drunk most likely, and refused to cooperate with police somewhat. That's pretty frightening to me that he refused to hook the phone lines back up when the police were there.
I think you need a plan my friend. I don't see anything good coming out of this, what I see is the situation escalating. Please don't mess with him, he is a loose canon. ((hugs)).
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Posts: 16,633
Absolutely, yes, call the DV Hotline or your local shelter and talk with an advocate. This is CLASSIC abusive behavior. He has threatened to burn the house down--I've seen cases like that end in arson and murder. He's wished you dead. He cut off your ability to make phone calls. He's isolating you from family and friends.
Talk to them about a protective order. That would require him to stay away, and allow the police to arrest him immediately if he violates it. It will also prohibit him, under federal law, from possessing a gun. He is a dangerous, abusive drunk and should not have them.
Please make the call. Nobody will force you to do anything you're unwilling to do. It's confidential and free. At the very least you need assistance with safety planning.
If you doubt that you are in danger, or feel like you blew things out of proportion, check out this free threat-assessment tool: MOSAIC.
Talk to them about a protective order. That would require him to stay away, and allow the police to arrest him immediately if he violates it. It will also prohibit him, under federal law, from possessing a gun. He is a dangerous, abusive drunk and should not have them.
Please make the call. Nobody will force you to do anything you're unwilling to do. It's confidential and free. At the very least you need assistance with safety planning.
If you doubt that you are in danger, or feel like you blew things out of proportion, check out this free threat-assessment tool: MOSAIC.
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OMG Z I am SO SCARED FOR YOU! You have no idea what danger you're in, do you!? You have been the frog in the pot so long and sounds like you've even got Stockholm Syndrome by your feeling compassion for that monster. He is doing all the classic behaviors of abuse that don't end well for the victim. By you not engaging, he's losing his control and will pull out all the stops. Isolation, paranoia, raging, controlling, threatening to burn house down, wishing you we're ALREADY dead, and the list goes on! Are you keeping a journal? A PO was mentioned, but he's so dangerous I'd be afraid that would set him off even more for your safety's sake. Can you go stay with someone unbeknownst to him until the divorce is settled? The best thing you could ask for would be for him to emotionally move on to his next victim, unfortunately. That "person" is a MONSTER.
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Z, i hope this is YOUR wake up call......that you can begin to really SEE what you are up against. please listen to the wise counsel here, please contact the DV hotline - do NOT tell your AH what you are doing. you ARE in danger. in HIS twisted sick mind you have become the enemy.....abusers NEED a victim.....a target. there is no rationale to it, don't try to figure it out.
that's like standing on the deck of the Titanic trying to figure out where the hell the iceberg came from. once it struck the ship, the ONLY thing that mattered was getting to a lifeboat.
is there anywhere ELSE you can stay besides the house? it's really not safe for you to stay there WITH him. don't even try to pretend its all ok and that you can have that merry little Christmas scene THIS year. he is a monster.
that's like standing on the deck of the Titanic trying to figure out where the hell the iceberg came from. once it struck the ship, the ONLY thing that mattered was getting to a lifeboat.
is there anywhere ELSE you can stay besides the house? it's really not safe for you to stay there WITH him. don't even try to pretend its all ok and that you can have that merry little Christmas scene THIS year. he is a monster.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Zircon.....living with an abusive person can mess with your mind....(as you can see). You have bonded with him.....this is not uncommon....
I believe that you need to separate form him.....now. But....he is dangerous---so,
Do NOT do it without assistance from the DV counselors....and, the proper back-up!
Staying is dangerous....and, separating can be very dangerous. That is why we are so insistant that it be be done with the help of those who are trained and know what they are doing...
The DV people deal with this every day......they have experience. And, they are compassionate....
They are also not a government agency. So, don't worry about that....
This is rapidly going beyond what you can/should handle alone.....
dandylion
I believe that you need to separate form him.....now. But....he is dangerous---so,
Do NOT do it without assistance from the DV counselors....and, the proper back-up!
Staying is dangerous....and, separating can be very dangerous. That is why we are so insistant that it be be done with the help of those who are trained and know what they are doing...
The DV people deal with this every day......they have experience. And, they are compassionate....
They are also not a government agency. So, don't worry about that....
This is rapidly going beyond what you can/should handle alone.....
dandylion
A work in progress
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Originally Posted by Refiner
A PO was mentioned, but he's so dangerous I'd be afraid that would set him off even more for your safety's sake.
An order allows the police to arrest BEFORE there is an escalation to physical violence. He's already "set off," and you can expect it to ramp up even without an order. Personally, I'd rather see him arrested before that happens.
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Just Numb
Hi All,
I sitting here this am, haven't slept, and feeling sick to my stomach.
Maybe I don't see it clearly since I'm so close. I'm telling the story as clearly as I remember it.
I was scarred last night. My ah just wouldn't stop. Trying to hurt me as he thinks I've hurt him. My ah thinks I'm the one who purposely didn't send his credit card bills to his uncle, who agreed to pay them off. Now my ah can't charge his booze or cigarettes. I spoke with his uncle on Friday, about the bills. He told me to let it lie. His uncle wants my ah to call him and ask for help. Well anyways, my ah is blaming me for not sending the bills and asking his uncle about them. The other thing is I refused to put our house up for collateral, to get a huge line of credit for the business. So my ah thinks I'm sabatoging the business.
Again, I'm not sure what made me call the police last night, but I see a desperate man in front of me.
I have done nothing but pay all the bills in the house for the last 3 months.
Should I be taking some responsibility for my part here. My behavior and attitude does change when my ah becomes that way. I have been trying to not engage him, but that doesn't work either.
Is he just saying this stuff to be hurtful?? or does he really mean it?? Do you think he might follow through on his threats??? In all the years I've know him, he has never been violent.
Last night, I wasn't even sure he had been drinking, but I kinda thought so when he just kept it up, and wouldn't put the phone on when the police were here. Then I went to lock the door in the basement and saw his bottle.
Why didn't the police pull him over and give him a breathalyzer??
All questions I have?
I sitting here this am, haven't slept, and feeling sick to my stomach.
Maybe I don't see it clearly since I'm so close. I'm telling the story as clearly as I remember it.
I was scarred last night. My ah just wouldn't stop. Trying to hurt me as he thinks I've hurt him. My ah thinks I'm the one who purposely didn't send his credit card bills to his uncle, who agreed to pay them off. Now my ah can't charge his booze or cigarettes. I spoke with his uncle on Friday, about the bills. He told me to let it lie. His uncle wants my ah to call him and ask for help. Well anyways, my ah is blaming me for not sending the bills and asking his uncle about them. The other thing is I refused to put our house up for collateral, to get a huge line of credit for the business. So my ah thinks I'm sabatoging the business.
Again, I'm not sure what made me call the police last night, but I see a desperate man in front of me.
I have done nothing but pay all the bills in the house for the last 3 months.
Should I be taking some responsibility for my part here. My behavior and attitude does change when my ah becomes that way. I have been trying to not engage him, but that doesn't work either.
Is he just saying this stuff to be hurtful?? or does he really mean it?? Do you think he might follow through on his threats??? In all the years I've know him, he has never been violent.
Last night, I wasn't even sure he had been drinking, but I kinda thought so when he just kept it up, and wouldn't put the phone on when the police were here. Then I went to lock the door in the basement and saw his bottle.
Why didn't the police pull him over and give him a breathalyzer??
All questions I have?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it is best to ASSUME he meant every word and then take the necessary precautions. he IS desperate, but not for the reasons you probably think. his life is spinning out of control, finances are a disaster, and he continues to want and want, and YOU are standing in the way.
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