Five years now. :)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Five years now. :)
The milestone passed quietly sometime this weekend: Five years without a drink.
There was time when that seemed like an impossible goal to me. Like someone saying they’d stood on one foot for five years straight. Sounds long. Sound hard. Sound tedious.
But that’s just the addiction talking.
Here’s the reality of it:
Five years without a hangover.
Five years without waking up and feeling regret wash over me.
Five years without checking my eyes in the mirror for signs of jaundice.
Five years without wondering if I smell like booze.
Five years without obsessing over my last drink, my next drink, whether I can have another drink after that…
Five years without making excuses of why I didn’t show, why I can’t go out, why I won’t be available to talk on the phone.
Five years without the guilt of rolling the dice with my daughter’s future, as well as my own.
Five years with extra money in my pocket.
Five years of driving safely.
Five years of remembering concerts, parties, movies.
Five years of going to bed feeling proud.
Five years of waking up feeling hopeful.
I know it feels like a huge sacrifice to quit. It’s not. That’s just the addiction talking. I’m not minimizing what recovery involves—it’s a massive change, emotionally and physically. It’s the hardest thing I ever did. But it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a gift.
When I was drinking, I told myself all the old lies—that I needed alcohol to relax after work, that I needed it to celebrate good times. The holidays were the worst; I actually believed Christmas would suck without booze.
Lies, all lies, told by an addiction that didn’t want me to realize it was actually ruining my holidays (and my life). The addiction didn’t want me to remember that I when I was a kid, I didn’t need a drop of liquor to enjoy the season, that it was only years of drinking and abuse that twisted the holidays into an excuse to drink. I see that so clearly now.
Quitting isn’t an ending, it’s a beginning. Nowadays, I don’t even think in terms of what I gave up. I think instead of all that I got back.
I’m so grateful for this site, this community. I hope everyone gets as much from it as I did, and wish you all a happy new year.
There was time when that seemed like an impossible goal to me. Like someone saying they’d stood on one foot for five years straight. Sounds long. Sound hard. Sound tedious.
But that’s just the addiction talking.
Here’s the reality of it:
Five years without a hangover.
Five years without waking up and feeling regret wash over me.
Five years without checking my eyes in the mirror for signs of jaundice.
Five years without wondering if I smell like booze.
Five years without obsessing over my last drink, my next drink, whether I can have another drink after that…
Five years without making excuses of why I didn’t show, why I can’t go out, why I won’t be available to talk on the phone.
Five years without the guilt of rolling the dice with my daughter’s future, as well as my own.
Five years with extra money in my pocket.
Five years of driving safely.
Five years of remembering concerts, parties, movies.
Five years of going to bed feeling proud.
Five years of waking up feeling hopeful.
I know it feels like a huge sacrifice to quit. It’s not. That’s just the addiction talking. I’m not minimizing what recovery involves—it’s a massive change, emotionally and physically. It’s the hardest thing I ever did. But it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a gift.
When I was drinking, I told myself all the old lies—that I needed alcohol to relax after work, that I needed it to celebrate good times. The holidays were the worst; I actually believed Christmas would suck without booze.
Lies, all lies, told by an addiction that didn’t want me to realize it was actually ruining my holidays (and my life). The addiction didn’t want me to remember that I when I was a kid, I didn’t need a drop of liquor to enjoy the season, that it was only years of drinking and abuse that twisted the holidays into an excuse to drink. I see that so clearly now.
Quitting isn’t an ending, it’s a beginning. Nowadays, I don’t even think in terms of what I gave up. I think instead of all that I got back.
I’m so grateful for this site, this community. I hope everyone gets as much from it as I did, and wish you all a happy new year.
Thank you for your message of hope and joy. 
And huge congrats on five years sober! 
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble 
Quitting isn’t an ending, it’s a beginning. Nowadays, I don’t even think in terms of what I gave up. I think instead of all that I got back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 734
Great post - thanks for that and congratulations on such an achievement.
Only just starting out in sobriety myself but it's for keeps, of that I have no doubt - look forward to feeling the fulfilment and reward that you have over the last 5 years.
Only just starting out in sobriety myself but it's for keeps, of that I have no doubt - look forward to feeling the fulfilment and reward that you have over the last 5 years.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
... it’s not a sacrifice, it’s a gift.
And, it being Christmas and all, can there be a better gift that we could give to our families? To our friends? To ourselves?
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Congratulations I can't wait to have five years, everything you mentioned are goals we can attain just by putting the bottle down for good.
Seems so simple but it was or is so hard for us all.
Seems so simple but it was or is so hard for us all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Ready, I can't express enough how much your post meant to me. I am early in sobriety after years of trying. I read your post in a moment of weakness, when my addiction was screaming at me loud and clear that there's no need for me to do this, if I want to drink I should, why be such a martyr when nothing bad has happened in my life because of it (yet)? I felt like I was needlessly sacrificing. Then I read your post and I remembered why I am doing this an what I know is waiting for me in a life without the burden of alcohol.
Congratulations on 5 years and thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Congratulations on 5 years and thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
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