Hooped

I've had a major fall off the wagon lately (for several months). Of course it hasn't been going so well lately. I've pretty much alienated all those who once loved me, friends and family, made a fool out of myself, started being mean to those I love, neglected important aspects of life etc....etc...
I'm kind of at a new low and my insides feel like they are dissolving. Along with my mind. Gotta get back on track.
I want to.
Christmas is this Friday, I don't want to ruin it.
I want to be sober again.
I got up this morning and cracked another beer, stared at it a minute, and thought ...NO..and poured them down the drain.
So I'm hoping this is another turning point for me, the coffee is on.
Have a nice day.

kittycat3

Good job hooped. I'm sorry you are struggling. Can you do something today to ensure you stay sober?

Hope2014

Hi Hooped,
Good for you for posting and pouring the poison down the drain. Make today the beginning of the rest of your life.

Hooped

Shower, shave, clean clothes go do a little neglected Christmas shopping in a few hours is my plan for now.
I've tried counseling, AA, acupuncture, in the past but keep slipping.
The most success I've had in the last several years has been just hanging out here with some good people I met. My record was 8 months. I need sobriety and sanity back.
Thanks for listening.

sva777

How are you going to be today, are you going to be going through withdrawal? If so please take it easy and remember more beer won't help. Go to the Dr if needed.

Bird615

Nice to see you are still around. I remember you from a few years ago and was wondering what happened to you.

After 60 days back then, I went back out for another year and a half, until I was convinced that I can't take that first drink without inviting misery and hell back into my life.

What worked for me was having face-to-face support, a recovery program, and then just riding out those first rough months. Now at almost 6 months this time, life is finally getting better.

You can do this.

Hooped

It seems lately I have been going through withdrawl every morning actually. I dry heave till noon till I can finally pour a couple of drinks down which seems to settle things down, but then I'm once again off and running for the entire day.
I have been tapering down slowly the last few days, so hoping it won't be so severe today.

Hooped

I quit for over a month earlier this year with the help of a counselor but eventually I ended up just hitting the liquor store after our sessions, so I gave up on that at that point. I
l'll figure some plan out, but for now, I just plan on not drinking.

Hooped

I have a lot of amends to do from this last 6 month bender though. I'm hoping I can salvage things, but that remains to be seen I guess. I want to get back to being the man that I know I am, not some drunken fool.

OnMyWay7

Hang in there Hoop and you can do this -

ScottFromWI

Staying sober is the best ( and only ) way to accomplish this of course.

You mentioned that you tried AA, counseling, etc but after a while you just drank again. Consider the fact that it perhaps isn't AA/counseling/etc that is the problem but that its your inability/lack of motivation in following those plans that is at the root of the issue.

For most of us it's a combination of multiple "plans" or resources that finally gets us on the track of long-term sobriety. For me it's mostly been SR and counseling and my family. But the bottom line for me was nothing worked until I unconditionally accepted that drinking even one drink is NEVER an option for me. And it never will be, no matter how long I stay sober or how good i feel....picking up one drink will be my demise so cannot ever do it again.

Soberwolf

Welcome back Hooped

kittycat3

Please go to the doc if needed hooped. Keep us posted on how things are going.

ReadyAndAble

Hi, Hooped!

Remember me old friend? I am so glad to see you are ok. I know you don't feel "ok" right now, but you're here, you're trying, you care about yourself and others—which makes you in a lot better place than you could be, you know? A LOT better.

I hope you can put aside the regrets for a while, there will be plenty of time for amends later. You can't control others' feelings, so let's just focus on you for now, OK? It's not selfish at all.... it's Step One in order to for you be there for others later. The important thing right now is continuing to do right by yourself, to be true to yourself. You're doing that already, right now, it began the second you poured out that drink, no more milestones required. I'm super proud of you and hope you are proud of yourself, too. ))

Hooped

I remember you well old friend. Thanks for the encouraging message

FormerWineGirl

Hi Hooped, sorry you have had a tough time, but you made a great decision when you pored that beer out. Hang on tight, we are all here with you.

SoberLeigh

Welome back, Hooped; it's very nice to see you again.

Great job pouring the beer down the drain.

I echo what Scott said; bottom line for me was mentally accepting that I could never drink again and committing (once and for all, never to change my mind) to never drink again.

You can do this, Hooped.

least

I wish you success in getting sober for good.

kittycat3

How are you this evening, Hooped?

Hevyn

I'm so glad you wanted to talk about what's going on, Hooped. You know we're here to listen and help. I was in a similar state when I poured my last beer down the drain - and I never picked up another one. It can definitely be done. You sound ready.