Awful alcohol story
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
Awful alcohol story
Awful alcohol story
Hello to all my SR friends! I read SR every morning to get my day started and I thank you !
I have not told anyone this story although I trust now that I can finally get it off my chest.
A little bit about myself before I get started...I have been drinking for over 30 yrs...I finally hit bottom big time!!! I have now been sober 90 days on Christmas Day ( nice Christmas present). So as not to confuse you as I get started, I live 4 months in Illinois and 8 months in Florida ....I'm embarrassed and ashamed but here I go....
Over the years I have tried to guit drinking but obviously not enough...I have been in 4 rehabs,5in patient programs...tons of AA meetings(which didn't really work for me) and drank the day I got out...
Just short of 90 days ago I was in IL drinking 24/7(except when I was passed out) ....I was the kind of drinker that would sit on my patio by myself rain or shine and indulge....
I had been drinking so much that my husband who was scared to death ,called my best friend ( who lives in FL)and asked her to come get me,as he was afraid I was literally going to die...amazingly she got on the first plane,rented a car,drove an hour an a half and came to my house.....( just so u know she is a non drinker)..... I was at the point that it would have been dangerous for me to not have alcohol in my system....she arrived with plenty of wine to distribute when I got so sick(shaking out of control,falling down,wetting my pants,drooling and basically incoherent....)she got airline tickets for the next morning and there I sat waiting for the next day to arrive as she distributed enough wine to get me through...the next morning we got in the rental car ( which I'm embarrassed to say )with plenty of wine to get me to the airport...as we arrived she pulled to the curb and got a wheelchair,put a wine in my purse,and left to return the rental car....( people would walk by me and smile and wave as I'm sure they wondered why this girl was slumped over in this wheelchair all by herself and drooling.....Eileen arrived back to get me and off we went into the terminal...as we got to security(in the wheelchair)I had to get frisked in the chair as there was no way I could stand up much less walk...Eileen told me to keep my head down and not say a word so hopefully they wouldn't know I was drunk....it worked and off we went to the gate...got put on the plane first as I was in a wheelchair.... How I got in the seat I don't remember.....off we went to fla and my friend would sneak me vodkjuice every 30 min as to keep me from going into severe withdrawal ....arrive in Florida and back in the wheelchair I go...now I only remember bits and pieces...( but my friend has filled me in a bit)...she gets her car and off we go to detox...we get there and they can not believe my condition...they immediately took my blood work and my detox begins....( back in a wheelchair I go)... My liver enzymes were 3 times the normal amount( which I'm told is really dangerous).... I was the only one in there for alcohol as the most of the people were there for heroin... As I was talking ( sort of) to a couple of the kids they asked me why I was in there and my drug of choice...I told them alcohol and they both responded that they had never seen anyone as bad off as I ....now that was scary....
Detox was difficult although they keep u on meds to help u through ....finally when I got out the night mare began....uncontrollable shakes, barely could walk as I was so disoriented,horrible night mares and would wake up so scared I thought I was going to die....this continued off and on for approx 3 weeks...I can't express to u how awful it was and it is a miracle that I did not give up and start drinking....thank God my friend told me about SR and u all kept me going....read it everyday sometimes twice....
I finally am at 3 months Christmas Day and feel unbelievable ...it's amazing and honestly can't imagine ever going back to that hell hole...
I wish u all the best and would like to thank my husband,Eileen ,dr mark and all my friends at SR!!!!
Hello to all my SR friends! I read SR every morning to get my day started and I thank you !
I have not told anyone this story although I trust now that I can finally get it off my chest.
A little bit about myself before I get started...I have been drinking for over 30 yrs...I finally hit bottom big time!!! I have now been sober 90 days on Christmas Day ( nice Christmas present). So as not to confuse you as I get started, I live 4 months in Illinois and 8 months in Florida ....I'm embarrassed and ashamed but here I go....
Over the years I have tried to guit drinking but obviously not enough...I have been in 4 rehabs,5in patient programs...tons of AA meetings(which didn't really work for me) and drank the day I got out...
Just short of 90 days ago I was in IL drinking 24/7(except when I was passed out) ....I was the kind of drinker that would sit on my patio by myself rain or shine and indulge....
I had been drinking so much that my husband who was scared to death ,called my best friend ( who lives in FL)and asked her to come get me,as he was afraid I was literally going to die...amazingly she got on the first plane,rented a car,drove an hour an a half and came to my house.....( just so u know she is a non drinker)..... I was at the point that it would have been dangerous for me to not have alcohol in my system....she arrived with plenty of wine to distribute when I got so sick(shaking out of control,falling down,wetting my pants,drooling and basically incoherent....)she got airline tickets for the next morning and there I sat waiting for the next day to arrive as she distributed enough wine to get me through...the next morning we got in the rental car ( which I'm embarrassed to say )with plenty of wine to get me to the airport...as we arrived she pulled to the curb and got a wheelchair,put a wine in my purse,and left to return the rental car....( people would walk by me and smile and wave as I'm sure they wondered why this girl was slumped over in this wheelchair all by herself and drooling.....Eileen arrived back to get me and off we went into the terminal...as we got to security(in the wheelchair)I had to get frisked in the chair as there was no way I could stand up much less walk...Eileen told me to keep my head down and not say a word so hopefully they wouldn't know I was drunk....it worked and off we went to the gate...got put on the plane first as I was in a wheelchair.... How I got in the seat I don't remember.....off we went to fla and my friend would sneak me vodkjuice every 30 min as to keep me from going into severe withdrawal ....arrive in Florida and back in the wheelchair I go...now I only remember bits and pieces...( but my friend has filled me in a bit)...she gets her car and off we go to detox...we get there and they can not believe my condition...they immediately took my blood work and my detox begins....( back in a wheelchair I go)... My liver enzymes were 3 times the normal amount( which I'm told is really dangerous).... I was the only one in there for alcohol as the most of the people were there for heroin... As I was talking ( sort of) to a couple of the kids they asked me why I was in there and my drug of choice...I told them alcohol and they both responded that they had never seen anyone as bad off as I ....now that was scary....
Detox was difficult although they keep u on meds to help u through ....finally when I got out the night mare began....uncontrollable shakes, barely could walk as I was so disoriented,horrible night mares and would wake up so scared I thought I was going to die....this continued off and on for approx 3 weeks...I can't express to u how awful it was and it is a miracle that I did not give up and start drinking....thank God my friend told me about SR and u all kept me going....read it everyday sometimes twice....
I finally am at 3 months Christmas Day and feel unbelievable ...it's amazing and honestly can't imagine ever going back to that hell hole...
I wish u all the best and would like to thank my husband,Eileen ,dr mark and all my friends at SR!!!!
Recoverer of Self
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 297
Thank you for your post...I am sitting in my car outside the shopping mall trying to go in and do my Christmas shopping...but all I can do is sit here paralyzed with thoughts of drinking again...I'm only on day 8 and already I am being stalked by my addiction! In desperation I pulled out my phone to get on this site with hopes something would rattle me out of these horrible chains...and the first post I find is yours...your story breaks my heart for you and me both...and all of us stuggling. Thank you for sharing this! It is exactly what I needed at just the right time (the liquor store is across the street)....I feel better because I connected to your story...thank you for helping me!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Lily and welcome.
Thank you for your candor. You very effectively bring back how horrible detox is and how bad it can get. I'm glad you are doing so well.
I know for me, as I move through recovery, I can forget how terrible and truly life threatening detox is. Never forget.
Happy Holidays.
Thank you for your candor. You very effectively bring back how horrible detox is and how bad it can get. I'm glad you are doing so well.
I know for me, as I move through recovery, I can forget how terrible and truly life threatening detox is. Never forget.
Happy Holidays.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Wow! What an incredible story of triumph and friendship, thank you so much for sharing that.
I'm a patio drinker myself. I used to sit outside on my front patio and drink and smoke for hours. Disgusting when I think about it.
It sounds like you were in a really dangerous and scary place. You should be so proud of your progress and so thankful to have a husband and friend that took real action to get you help.
Congratulations on three months, that is a huge accomplishment. Enjoy your Christmas. No need for presents under the tree this year, you have been given the greatest gifts of all this year- your life back and the affirmation of true love from two people close to you.
I'm a patio drinker myself. I used to sit outside on my front patio and drink and smoke for hours. Disgusting when I think about it.
It sounds like you were in a really dangerous and scary place. You should be so proud of your progress and so thankful to have a husband and friend that took real action to get you help.
Congratulations on three months, that is a huge accomplishment. Enjoy your Christmas. No need for presents under the tree this year, you have been given the greatest gifts of all this year- your life back and the affirmation of true love from two people close to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome, lilyazalea, and thank you for sharing your story. It is heartbreaking but also a stark reminder of why I can never go back.
Congratulations on 90 sober days.
We are here for you as you continue on your sober journey.
Congratulations on 90 sober days.
We are here for you as you continue on your sober journey.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Lilyazalea,
just wanted to say that there is nothing to be ashamed of in what you wrote. It is just normal stuff for people who suffer from alcoholism. That is what it is like in the end stages of this illness.
BTW I went to some institutional AA meetings, and some general meetings and they didn't work for me either. It wasn't till later I discovered the program of AA. When I did that I found permanent sobriety.
just wanted to say that there is nothing to be ashamed of in what you wrote. It is just normal stuff for people who suffer from alcoholism. That is what it is like in the end stages of this illness.
BTW I went to some institutional AA meetings, and some general meetings and they didn't work for me either. It wasn't till later I discovered the program of AA. When I did that I found permanent sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hey Lily!
Thank you for sharing and nice to meet you. My liver enzymes were about as high as yours and I was diagnosed with alcoholic hep. That was two years ago. I have been sober and just had a CT scan (the serious one) and my liver looks like I never drank. Normal size, normal enzymes. Jesus I was scared to death.
Our bodies heal with sobriety. You will heal too. Stay the course girl!
Thank you for sharing and nice to meet you. My liver enzymes were about as high as yours and I was diagnosed with alcoholic hep. That was two years ago. I have been sober and just had a CT scan (the serious one) and my liver looks like I never drank. Normal size, normal enzymes. Jesus I was scared to death.
Our bodies heal with sobriety. You will heal too. Stay the course girl!
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
We never have to drink again.
Remember that.
I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes.
That was exactly it, and I couldn't understand why the happiness never came, couldn't see the flaw in my thinking, couldn't see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis.
I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again.
And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn't made me feel good in years.
Heather King, "Parched"
Remember that.
I once heard a sober alcoholic say that drinking never made him happy, but it made him feel like he was going to be happy in about fifteen minutes.
That was exactly it, and I couldn't understand why the happiness never came, couldn't see the flaw in my thinking, couldn't see that alcohol kept me trapped in a world of illusion, procrastination, paralysis.
I lived always in the future, never in the present. Next time, next time! Next time I drank it would be different, next time it would make me feel good again.
And all my efforts were doomed, because already drinking hadn't made me feel good in years.
Heather King, "Parched"
Last edited by breath; 12-20-2015 at 01:52 PM. Reason: bring quote closer to text
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 600
Your friend Eileen is an absolute angel. Your poor husband must've been a complete mess he was going to lose you. I am glad you are alive and ok.
If anyone thinks alcoholism/addiction is not an illness and instead something that a little self will can't cure, they need to read this post and think again.
Congrats on your three months! I wish you all the very best in your continued recovery.
If anyone thinks alcoholism/addiction is not an illness and instead something that a little self will can't cure, they need to read this post and think again.
Congrats on your three months! I wish you all the very best in your continued recovery.
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