Arpeggioh

Close to losing jobs, completely depressive, non-functional...how do you people bounce back from this ****? Been here long time, drunk and sober, and the **** just keeps kicking me further back. How the Hell do people actually recover from this nightmare? I'm about done, man...

least

I didn't bounce back, I crawled back at first.

You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Not easy, but simple.

ubntubnt

They do it one day at a time AP. They rally support around them, write a plan and stick to it, they avoid situations that involve alcohol, they rebuild a sober life and they grind it out...step by step.

Isaiah

Some times it takes a big leap of trust in seeking support. Late summer I decided that for the sake of my sobriety and mental well-being, I was going to join a recovery center / farm. It was a crazy idea at the time. I felt I really had nowhere else to turn and was ready for anything that might work. Here I am. Alive, reasonably happy and sober. I don't 100% like where I am, but I feel I made the best choice I could with the circumstances.

Being able to accept certain circumstances too is what I've learned to do to stay sane. Somethings I can change and I work on them. Other things I feel *should* be different, and that's the kind of thinking I try hard to avoid. Things are. I may want things to be different, but have to accept that the world doesn't just conform to my will. It sounds reasonable, but I daresay many of us struggle with this. Staying sober, staying healthy is so much for me learning what things are within my power to change, what I have to let go control over, and what my role is in my own life. It's hard, so I reach out for help often. Then to repay the debt from getting help, I'm growing stronger to where I can in turn help others.

That's how I do it. It isn't perfect, but in a way it's as good as needs to be. I know many ways to make it worse.

suki44883

What kind of support do you have, Arpeggioh? Do you attend meetings? See a therapist? I notice that your join date is April of 2006...that's close to ten years, yet you only have 59 posts. Maybe hang around here on a regular basis? I know a lot of us use SR daily to help stay sober. Getting some face-to-face support can be helpful, too.

You can do this, Arpeggioh; but, you have to want it badly enough to be willing to do anything to achieve it. You'll find a LOT of support here.

Anna

You can bounce back slowly by taking small steps and accomplishing a few things each day.

Dee74

Good to see you back but sorry you're still struggling arpeggioh.

It took quite a while for me to get my life sorted when I quit...I had to keep remembering I'd been drinking for 20 years - it was always going to take a little time to sort everything out.

Support's really important too - I really used SR a lot in those early days.

The first step for any kind of improvement is stop drinking.

How are you doing with that?

D

Arpeggioh

I know from support; it's why I keep coming back here! Still waiting for the magical solution that solves me....

suki44883

Unfortunately, there is no magical solution. It takes dedication and hard work. It isn't easy, but it's damned sure worth it.

Dee74

yeah there's no magic involved man - just hard work and making different decisions.

You must be utterly sick and tired of this crap by now?

D

Arpeggioh

Anna and Dee: that's the kind of supportive words that make this website an oasis in a desert of despair...why I keep coming back! Thank you both...

Arpeggioh

Y'all have no idea how sick and tired of this crap...well, obviously you do! Oh, f@ck, I'm just done with myself!! Sorry to be a Drama Queen, but...I love this website, and the understanding I get from it...

Dee74

These are two pretty awesome links to get anyone started:

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

D

Coldfusion

You're still logged on an hour and a half after your post. That's great! Read around and post often--it works if you work it!

Here's a couple good threads to join:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5695930

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5695647

SixStringZen

It doesn't exist...support is a tool. The best hammer in the world won't build a house for you...


You can do it

ZeldaFan

As others have already said, it's not easy and you do feel like you are crawling at first. Each day is a struggle but each day sober is also a victory. As the days start adding up, the hard work and pain start to have meaning. Things start to get better and you suddenly realize you are heading in a good direction. It's a lifestyle change and that can be scary but once you realize how much your life starts to improve with time, it's worth everything you have to do to maintain your sobriety. You can do this and once you do you will realize you have strength you never imagined!

ScottFromWI

It was right around this time of the year when I quit, I went on about a 14 day bender and woke up after news years weekend knowing I just couldn't do it anymore.

You start small...one day sober is all you need to worry about first. And you accept that drinking is not an option NO MATTER WHAT. You will need help me you can find it here on SR, and in lots od other places.

Soberwolf

One inch at time one step at a time one round at a time

AAPJ

They do it one day at a time.

Berrybean

Acceptance and willingness.

No magic. No will-power. I waited for the first as well (that's procrastination), and tried the second (but realised that my 'will' needed breaking down, not building up).

When I got sick and tired enough of being sick and tired, I accepted that I needed to change for my life to change. I took the risk of becoming the hole in the polo mint, removed alcohol from my life; and went to AA to learn how to recover, and how to do all the stuff that sober people manage to do without alcohol (cope with feelings; deal with people; face fear; accept responsibility for myself and my actions).

There has been magic in my recovery, but I had to work for it.

Good luck.