New here ... Hoping this helps
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 4
New here ... Hoping this helps
Hi ☺️
I went to my first AA meeting last Sunday. I'm trying to break my "bottle of wine a night" habit.
Haven't had any until yesterday, went to a funeral and had one glass of wine.
Didn't buy anymore for home but I now feel angry and resentful. My partner doesn't drink, never had.
He smokes weed every night to relax and I feel angry that he has his "relaxation" but mine is gone. I'm angry and sad.
Going to another meeting tonight to see if I can work out these feelings.
Christmas makes it worse. My grown daughters think I'm being silly and don't think I have a problem. I keep trying to rationalise that everyone drinks. I don't drink and drive, never in the day etc. All of the excuses. Bottom line, I miss my wine and I'm so so sad.
I went to my first AA meeting last Sunday. I'm trying to break my "bottle of wine a night" habit.
Haven't had any until yesterday, went to a funeral and had one glass of wine.
Didn't buy anymore for home but I now feel angry and resentful. My partner doesn't drink, never had.
He smokes weed every night to relax and I feel angry that he has his "relaxation" but mine is gone. I'm angry and sad.
Going to another meeting tonight to see if I can work out these feelings.
Christmas makes it worse. My grown daughters think I'm being silly and don't think I have a problem. I keep trying to rationalise that everyone drinks. I don't drink and drive, never in the day etc. All of the excuses. Bottom line, I miss my wine and I'm so so sad.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Kaz
the resentment and sense of bitterness is fairly common, but I truly believe that was the last gasp of the addicted me.
My life, my self, and my future are better in every way since I gave up drinking alcohol. I rediscovered a me I'd forgotten about.
Regardless of what others might say, we know when our drinking is a problem.
I hope you'll stick around and find the same
D
the resentment and sense of bitterness is fairly common, but I truly believe that was the last gasp of the addicted me.
My life, my self, and my future are better in every way since I gave up drinking alcohol. I rediscovered a me I'd forgotten about.
Regardless of what others might say, we know when our drinking is a problem.
I hope you'll stick around and find the same
D
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I was like that too the first weeks of sobriety. It felt like missing an old friend. That's just the AV talking. It does go away, and for me pretty quickly. Today is 95 days sober for me and I don't feel that way at all. But who knows if it'll come back. Just say NO! to the AV.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
My partner likes his pot, too, and I was kind of resentful for a while that he got to "relax" and I didn't, but now that's changing.
Looking at things realistically helped me a lot. Every time I missed the drinking, I also made myself remember each and every thing I didn't miss about it. In great detail.
Getting close to 6 months here and all those feelings of resentment and bitterness and missing it are finally fading for me.
Life is getting good again. Hang on and ride it out.
Looking at things realistically helped me a lot. Every time I missed the drinking, I also made myself remember each and every thing I didn't miss about it. In great detail.
Getting close to 6 months here and all those feelings of resentment and bitterness and missing it are finally fading for me.
Life is getting good again. Hang on and ride it out.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
It's normal to feel bitter after quitting. I finally quit because it made me so sick but many times before that I tried to quit and felt the same way, bitter and full of excuses.
Remember not everyone drinks actually a lot of people don't at all.
Every day gets better stick with it.
Remember not everyone drinks actually a lot of people don't at all.
Every day gets better stick with it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,649
Do this for you. Your life will be better for it. I replaced the drink at night with a cup of tea. I have all kinds of tea now. It is fun and good. My hubby still drinks, and I had to lose the resentment to grow. You will also. Just hang out with us and in time the feeling of being sad and angry will go away. We are all here for you. You got this.
Stingy athlete recovery method
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: U. S. A.
Posts: 754
Originally Posted by JustKaz 
He smokes weed every night to relax and I feel angry that he has his "relaxation" but mine is gone. I'm angry and sad.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome, JustKaz
Just stay the course. There are all kinds of uncomfortable moments in early sobriety - they won't hurt you. Stay the course. You'll be really glad you did.
I agree that "playing the tape through" helps in early days. I didn't just think just about the relaxing part of the drink (which only lasted about an hour anyway) - I thought about the glasses after that and the feelings afterwards, the next morning, the lost time, the illness, the harsh words spoken, the lack of control and bad choices etc. Play that tape all the way through the shame and guilt and self-loathing. Wine isn't a friend at all - it's a bad abusive relationship. One hour of friendly company isn't worth the 23 hours of regret.
Just stay the course. There are all kinds of uncomfortable moments in early sobriety - they won't hurt you. Stay the course. You'll be really glad you did.
I agree that "playing the tape through" helps in early days. I didn't just think just about the relaxing part of the drink (which only lasted about an hour anyway) - I thought about the glasses after that and the feelings afterwards, the next morning, the lost time, the illness, the harsh words spoken, the lack of control and bad choices etc. Play that tape all the way through the shame and guilt and self-loathing. Wine isn't a friend at all - it's a bad abusive relationship. One hour of friendly company isn't worth the 23 hours of regret.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 4
Thank you so much for your support.
My partner just told me I'm "weird" at the moment. I'm quiet and sad, on the verge of tears. He's the one that "hates when I drink" but now I'm weird. Yes, because I'm feeling bloody miserable!!!!!
What is the tape that was mentioned please? New to the site and jumped right to the forum.
Thank you again.
Kaz
My partner just told me I'm "weird" at the moment. I'm quiet and sad, on the verge of tears. He's the one that "hates when I drink" but now I'm weird. Yes, because I'm feeling bloody miserable!!!!!
What is the tape that was mentioned please? New to the site and jumped right to the forum.
Thank you again.
Kaz
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
The "tape" is like your review of what really happens when you drink. As if you had recorded (taped) an episode of drinking from start to finish, including the ugly aftermath. So when you watch the rerun in your mind, you get to see all of it, not just the good parts.
Normal/social/non drinkers will never get what it's like to be addicted to alcohol, so you're not at all alone in not being understood or thought of as weird. No one here will think that about you!
Normal/social/non drinkers will never get what it's like to be addicted to alcohol, so you're not at all alone in not being understood or thought of as weird. No one here will think that about you!
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