Iwishonstars777

Is there such a thing as a couples meeting? A mixed aa/Al-Anon or na/al-anon? I'm not sure I would go so early into recovery, but it would be nice for the couples who live together compared to others who don't live with their...qualifier? (Hope I'm saying that right)

I think it would be a good thing to here from other couples. Knowing you relate to them as a couple and learning together by hearing the same thing.

Anyone know of these meetings? Or what are your thoughts?

JimC60

Iwishonstars,

I think you are asking if there are NA + Nar-Anon meetings in which an addict + their loved one goes to the same meeting?

There are "open" NA and AA meetings which a spouse could attend, likewise with Nar-Anon and Al-Anon.

There is a church near me which hosts a NA meeting in one room and a Nar-Anon meeting in another room at the same time -- this allows couples to travel to a meeting together but, they are each attending a different meeting.

There is a couple who comes to my Nar-Anon home group - he is an addict (20+ years clean), she has a child who is an addict -- he comes as support for her. I call them a couple simply because they always come together - I do not really know their familial status.

Jim

hopeful4

My X and I usto attend Celebrate Recovery, which is a lot the same, but with a more religious tie in. They have a large group where you worship together, then break into small groups for the issue of your choice. Women go with women, men go with men into several different small groups. I really liked this, it gave us time there together, yet also time into our own separate group.

You may want to try it out if you have one near you.

zoso77

Here's an observation.

You are fixated on fixing the relationship. What you're overlooking is someone in the earliest stages of recovery does not have a lot to give.

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Iwishonstars777

I'm going to my al anon meetings and trying to take care of myself. I don't have a sponsor yet but I'm not going to let him pressuring me to get one bother me. I don't feel any of the meetings I went to was the right "time". I'll get one when I feel it. I read al anon literature as well and got my first number from a meeting. I was only curious because I wondered if that would help to better understand what each other is going through. Not to fix the relationship.

AnvilheadII

just curious......has HE expressed ANY desire to know what you are going thru?? like "hey babe, you seem a bit down, wanna talk?" or are you just WISHING he would recognize what YOU are going thru?

Priscilla84

I know some people go to marriage counseling in addition to doing Al Anon on their own. Not sure about meetings for couples.

AnonWife

Smart Recovery has meetings you could both attend. There are also online meetings you could do together. They have a family program Im finding wonderfully helpful also. Lots of suggested readings too. You might want to check it out also.

Iwishonstars777

He has never really been like that in the first place. Pretty closed off. He does ask me how my meetings are and if I've learned anything. We both have agreed that we do not know what the other is going through or feeling at the time and we both agreed we'd like to be able to understand.