Soberish

Hey all, happy Tuesday.

I haven't chimed in for a while now, just been surfing the forums here and there. I'm 2 and a half months sober today but have been having some battles with it.

I'm home for the holidays and have been feeling bored and unmotivated. I have been wanting to start studying for the next quarter by doing some review but haven't really had the desire to just buckle down and do it. I've been hanging out with some friends but feel like something is missing because they all drink and smoke and I don't. I love them to death and they don't bother me about drinking or smoking with them so that's not an issue.

I've read here that you're supposed to distance yourself from the life you had while using because it doesn't really work when your sober. I find that easier said than done. Part of me has been wanting to say f--- it and have a couple beers or a hit from weed. I haven't but that thought has been there and it's worrisome. It has been said here that a relapse takes place before it actually happens.

I'm going to go exercise now. I don't really want to but I know that its a must for this rut I feel like I'm in.

Anna

You're right, it's very hard to take the action we often required, which is to make some big changes in our life. Change is always hard and when we are pushed to make choices that will help our recovery, it's not easy.

Can you think of things to do while you're home that would be interesting and fun?

Ruby2

I truly believe that relapse starts before you ever pick up that drink so it's good that you're posting now. Maybe make a habit of checking in here every day for a while. I did that in the beginning to start those changes in habit. Become accountable to myself and to establish healthier patterns.

It's been a long time since I was in college and home for the holidays but I do remember that I always felt at loose ends. It was disconcerting because I was in once familiar territory but I was away from the comfort zone and routine I had established at school. You're adjusting to being back at home and you are also adjusting to not drinking or smoking. It will take a little time so take it easy on yourself.

Well done on 2.5 months.

Soberwolf

Awesome job on 2.5 months bud

PurpleKnight

Keep pushing through Soberish!! You don't have to go back to that old life!!

You can keep writing that new chapter of your life!! You can do this!!

awuh1

The reason I came to this thread was that your name caught my eye. I caught a glimpse of it as I was exiting the forum and had to return. I said to myself 'there is no such thing as soberish. Either you're sober or you're not".

Being sober, IMO takes a commitment. Not just to stay away from all substances but to change how to live as well. It's the second part that's a bit more difficult long term, at least for most of us. It required a long hard look at WHY we did what we did, and then, how we were going to do it differently.

Your friends are likely real nice people, but if they value getting drunk and high, aren't they different than you? Being around them for extended periods of time might not be the best idea. My suggestion would be to put your efforts into the new objectives you have set for yourself and focus on moving in those directions. You won't regret it.

thomas11

Hi Soberish, I know that boredom can be dangerous. I also understand that old social circles can be tempting. I personally believe structure (of any kind) helps. I currently have NOTHING to do really, and won't for some time. I read, listened to my favorite sports radio program, spend time with my dog, prepare and eat meals, and find topics on the internet I enjoy. I do this everyday so I don't fall victim of a binge. Is it boring, sure, a little. But its better than the alternative. Wish you the best.

Soberish

Just the typical hanging out with friends, watching a movie or tv show. I'm going to watch a basketball game in a bit.

I really don't feel like I have the time to do too much because I know my next quarter is going to be really tough so I need to spend a lot of time reviewing. I guess I want to really be successful and that's a good thing.

I never really thought of it that way. I guess I am adjusting to being back at home. The crazy thing is that I just moved to a new place as well so as soon as the new year hits I will be in a new house. The last place had a rodent problem that wasn't getting resolved in a timely fashion so I left.

I've been under a lot of stress with the whole move thing, then knowing I need to be reviewing on my time off, then trying to stay clean on top of that. They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger so I hope that'll happen soon.

Wanttolive3

Great job Soberish! 2 and a half months is a great accomplishment. Keep up the hard work - you are an inspiration to me! I can't wait to be where you are.

Lucie29

I always want to put off studying bc it takes effort, but once I start it I become engaged. Try leaving your parents house and going to a Starbucks or library or somewhere that you won't be distracted to turn on the tv or something. You will feel so much better about yourself and it will make you stronger in your sobriety if you are proud of who you become. The old you would just hang around and drink and smoke and waste your time off doing absolutely nothing productive. The new you will dedicate a few hours to your studies, then later when you meet up with friends or whatever you can really relax knowing you accomplished something that day. You will also feel so proud when you go back to school prepared and clear minded, not full of a depressed anxiety of your choices. You will not want to sabotage yourself if you are proud of yourself. Don't let laziness become a habit, it will lead to old thinking and old relapses, and it always turns out the same. I hope this helps you get motivated. You can be very successful!

Dee74

I think if it's a choice between taking it easy and the probable risk of going down some old roads - or finding new better, positive things to do to fill your time, I know which one I'd pick, soberish

D

Soberish

My name came from when I first made my account years ago. I was not smoking but still drinking so I was "soberish". You're right though, there is no such thing as being soberish, I guess I didn't understand that at the time.

You know I've been playing this wait game with a new job. I had my interview and got hired about a month and a half ago. I'm hoping it will be a very important key to my success of not drinking. I think it'll keep me busy and it'll be rewarding because I'll be helping grade school kids with their homework and study habits. I really enjoy helping others, it gives me a sense of satisfaction.

I really would like to move forward with some goals but like I said, I've been in a bit of a funk lately with no ambition to do it. I don't like feeling isolated so I've been trying to hang with the friends I know best, even if they have their habits. It may not be the best thing ever for me, but lately its been helping me feel better. Its one of those things I guess I had to weigh the pros and cons with. I won't be engaging in their drinking and smoking so for me its ok for now. I feel that I've got to keep my spirits up or else I'll just become immobilized.

Sounds like a chunk of my life. I spend lots of time reading on the internet and spend most of my nights listening to the radio. When there is a sports game on that I like I'll watch it. I can't help but think there has to be more to life than this, but I also feel like the longer I roll on the more it will fall into place? I guess thats what's been keeping me motivated to continue down this path. I just want to feel decent without the requirement of indulging in substances. Sometimes I feel decent and sometimes I don't. Deep down inside I just keep saying it'll work out in the long run.

Soberish

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for the encouragement. Don't let this thread be a reflection of what 2 and a half months feels like because it's not always like this. Good days and bad days both come and go.

I've been thinking the same thing. I actually started to study yesterday and I just woke up in this groggy mood. I took the steps to exercise to help make it better because I just can't study in a mood like earlier. I actually told my friend I was going to skip lunch with him and that I would just meet up to watch the game in a few hours instead. This way I could focus on myself for the time being. I'm not reviewing at the mean time, but I am getting down some of my thoughts and feelings which can help me to get the ball rolling.

Your post was a great reminder that if I don't do what I've got to do now, my life will be much worse in another month. I don't want all that nervous anxiety next quarter which is why I gotta take care of that now.

You're right Dee. Tonight I'm going to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up refreshed tomorrow, get some exercise, and hit the books. This has to get done, and the sooner it gets done the better.