julesonya

Well per normal, as soon as my son is at his dad's I head to the wine and don't stop. Why is wine like that. Oh one glass, might as well have the whole bottle. I know I am sick and its making me sicker. My stomach, my sides. I finally went to the doctor & had labwork done, no results yet but seriously. I have the biggest headache & hangover right now. Huge stomach ache and I just want to lay down & drink more. This is so dumb. And in my head I say "ill start next week" or "Im going on vacation with my family so I know I wont drink then"why not start now? Why not today? Why not 3 months ago.
I need to stay connected here, I start to falter when I get away from checking in.

least

Don't beat yourself up. Learn from it and forgive yourself. I failed more times than I'd like to admit but I kept trying and eventually got it right. Keep trying.

atxjoshua

Remember that you are human. We make mistakes. I've discovered that dwelling on a decision I made yesterday does not get many anywhere other than more depressed and ashamed of myself — and those feelings are not constructive or empowering.

Instead, focus on today. You are here, among friends. You know what you need to do. Those are two very powerful things, and I know you can do it. Try again!

TheRake

Thomas Edison "I've not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work"

But he was determined to find one way that did work......and he did!!!!!

Let's not give up

They Did Not Give Up

Anna

Jules, just try to learn from this experience and move on. You know that it's a triggering time when your son is at his dad's so, make a plan. Next time he leaves, plan something with a friend, or go a movie, do something different that will help you to break the habit and give you the step up that you need.

Melina

Sometimes it helps to look at/think about the bottle and only let yourself think of the negatives. Play the tape through.

If you drink bc you want to escape, I've found it really helpful to eat a big meal or ice cream and then think about it. It's funny how after I'm full I'm kind of surprised at just how jumpy my mind was. After that I don't want to drink at all.

There's always occasions that you can say are about drinking, but they're not. A family vacation sober is amazing. I did two this year and I'm only a little over six months sober. It's really important to be sober around your family bc they're not going to be around forever and you want to get some good conversations in. At least that's how I feel.

Hope this helps, xoxo,
Melina

Nonsensical

It ain't the wine, Jules. It's the liar living in your head. You know, the one telling you to start next week or just one won't hurt. You just weren't careful last time. Next time will be different.

I know, I have one, too. I've heard all those lies and plenty of others.

I quit listening to the liar living in my head and my life got a lot better. I highly recommend it.

julesonya

Thank you! i think another part of it is when I am by myself I dont cook/eat so that AV that is really my body saying "eat some food" is instead lying to me and saying "have some wine".

I really dont have a lot of people I spend time with. I distanced myself from a lot of my old friends bc they were drinking friends. The only time they wanted to get together was for wine. I am trying to find a hobby... I am thinking about taking up French again, i took 8 years of it between ages 10-18. I think registering for a class would be good for me.

i love to cook and thought about a cooking class, but again, those are mostly cooking & wine. I also find myself laughing at myself bc I think, oh $75 for a cheese making class? DANG! Oh wait, I spend $75 3 days on alcohol.

Grizzly18

start now no more drinking, you can do this we all know you can so just do it

Yogini1603

The food thing is true for me too. I've been cooking a lot more recently to both get back in the habit of eating and also to remove that association of cooking and alcohol. I really recommend it as cooking good food could be something for you to look into and get passionate about in sobriety!

PurpleKnight

Draw a line under this, get a serious plan together, and go out and make Sobriety happen, go get a piece of that happiness for yourself, that you deserve!!

You can do this!!

loulou1981

Why haven't i thought about the whole food/drink thing before!!!!???? This is very true for me, ill be desperate for wine & then as soon as i eat im not bothered!!
We've all been there, but as someone else said, its obviously a trigger for u so definitely plan something next time. Don't dwell on it, draw a line & make a fresh start.x