What do YOU do , I'm lost
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Snoozy!
I am using only SR as a sobriety tool. but couldn't help chiming in.
But, I think it depends on what to define as "sobriety tool".
If specially dedicated resource to dealing with alcohol addiction - than yes.
If to count all the things that hold together my overall changes since the last drink - it would be meditation, mindfullness, workouts, harsh and non-nonsense reconsideration of people I am spending my time with - it's essential to cut toxic people out.
Oh, and therapy, of course. Very deep childhood traumas were among primary courses of my drinking, and it was very hard if not impossible to deal with them without professional help.
All these steps contribute to getting closer to my real self. And the more I reconnect with who I am, the less I need any substances to spice it up.
I don't know it if would be of any help, but just wanted to share.
Anyway - keep posting as often as you can. And ALWAYS BEFORE considering having a drink.
We are here for help.
Hugs to you.
I am using only SR as a sobriety tool. but couldn't help chiming in.
But, I think it depends on what to define as "sobriety tool".
If specially dedicated resource to dealing with alcohol addiction - than yes.
If to count all the things that hold together my overall changes since the last drink - it would be meditation, mindfullness, workouts, harsh and non-nonsense reconsideration of people I am spending my time with - it's essential to cut toxic people out.
Oh, and therapy, of course. Very deep childhood traumas were among primary courses of my drinking, and it was very hard if not impossible to deal with them without professional help.
All these steps contribute to getting closer to my real self. And the more I reconnect with who I am, the less I need any substances to spice it up.
I don't know it if would be of any help, but just wanted to share.
Anyway - keep posting as often as you can. And ALWAYS BEFORE considering having a drink.
We are here for help.
Hugs to you.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
I use SR, but the bottom line for me is balance. I need some kind of exercise daily, I need some quiet time, I need to connect with people I love, I need to connect with my spiritual side through books, yoga, meditation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
how i got sober was the program of aa.
the fellowship of aa taught me how to put it into action.
how i stay sober is practicing the principles of the program.
Snoozy, i got lotsa hope for ya!!! you CAN get and stay sober! ya just gotta go at it with the same zeal ya had for getting that next drink.
the fellowship of aa taught me how to put it into action.
how i stay sober is practicing the principles of the program.
Snoozy, i got lotsa hope for ya!!! you CAN get and stay sober! ya just gotta go at it with the same zeal ya had for getting that next drink.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I too attend and engage with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's entire purpose is to lead us to a spiritual awakening.
All three of the above posters have at least one thing in common - meditation.
This is for most getting in touch with the spiritual side of our lives - however one defines that.
I agree we must find balance. This is difficult for me - but body, mind and spirit need to be in sync and all need attention.
Thanks for the thread - very helpful
All three of the above posters have at least one thing in common - meditation.
This is for most getting in touch with the spiritual side of our lives - however one defines that.
I agree we must find balance. This is difficult for me - but body, mind and spirit need to be in sync and all need attention.
Thanks for the thread - very helpful
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Snoozy, I had a rough time with too many relapses to count. I felt really lost for awhile when I was using SR only. I finally in total desperation went to see my previous pdoc. He got me connected with addiction services at my local medical center. They recommended either rehab or IOP ( intensive outpatient program). I did IOP and had to go to AA as part of that - I didn't want to but went anyway. In addition, I saw my pdoc regularly again.
During the 3-month IOP, I knew I had to stay sober and during the last month of it I was going to about 5 AA meetings a week. I forced myself to speak at least very briefly at each meeting. I got to a point where I truly appreciated the meetings. I finally started feeling like I might make it but still was fairly shaky. I avoided all drinking situations and people.
At about 5 months sober I made a major move and life transition which was not easy. Several months after that move, my PTSD kicked in and I slipped for a day. I immediately went to see my new therapist and laid everything out with absolute honesty. She put me on a medication to control cravings. I used those for a couple of months and also got more heavily involved here on SR. Given the circumstances, I decided that I would not count this single slip. Progress rather than perfection. Now at 15 months sober (or 8 months since that brief slip), I am finally feeling more comfortable in my sober skin.
It's a lifetime journey and takes dedication, knowledge, skills and above all for me is support. Life sober after about a year is awesome!
During the 3-month IOP, I knew I had to stay sober and during the last month of it I was going to about 5 AA meetings a week. I forced myself to speak at least very briefly at each meeting. I got to a point where I truly appreciated the meetings. I finally started feeling like I might make it but still was fairly shaky. I avoided all drinking situations and people.
At about 5 months sober I made a major move and life transition which was not easy. Several months after that move, my PTSD kicked in and I slipped for a day. I immediately went to see my new therapist and laid everything out with absolute honesty. She put me on a medication to control cravings. I used those for a couple of months and also got more heavily involved here on SR. Given the circumstances, I decided that I would not count this single slip. Progress rather than perfection. Now at 15 months sober (or 8 months since that brief slip), I am finally feeling more comfortable in my sober skin.
It's a lifetime journey and takes dedication, knowledge, skills and above all for me is support. Life sober after about a year is awesome!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
I pour all my energy into caring for my dogs and cats. I am a very hyper person and the energy I used to put into drinking, I now give to my critters. 
I used to see an addiction counselor but she had to give up her private clients when she changed her job a bit. But I feel so secure in my sobriety it doesn't matter.
I used to see an addiction counselor but she had to give up her private clients when she changed her job a bit. But I feel so secure in my sobriety it doesn't matter. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Snoozy, I use SR as my only recovery tool. With that being said, I think Anna hit it dead on, the key has to be balance in life.
I have to remind myself of who I want to be and what I want to get out of life. The hardest thing I ever did was to quit drinking, that was all I knew for two decades... but it was also the best thing as well.
Every day, I still have to remind myself of everything good that not drinking brings into my life. I am much happier, a more balanced person, better dad, husband and worker. All of this goes away as soon as I take another drink.
I have to force myself to not get complacent and remember everything negative that drinking will bring back into my life. That's how I continue to stay sober.
I have to remind myself of who I want to be and what I want to get out of life. The hardest thing I ever did was to quit drinking, that was all I knew for two decades... but it was also the best thing as well.
Every day, I still have to remind myself of everything good that not drinking brings into my life. I am much happier, a more balanced person, better dad, husband and worker. All of this goes away as soon as I take another drink.
I have to force myself to not get complacent and remember everything negative that drinking will bring back into my life. That's how I continue to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Hi SnoozyQ!
I am on SR several times a day. I participate in the Weekenders thread.
I listen to sobriety/recovery podcasts every day, twice a day. I have a long commute so it's just perfect.
Currently, and in order of my preferences, I listen to
1. The Bubble Hour
2. The SHAIR podcast
3. Since Right Now
Tied for 4 place are: AfterParty pod, HOME podcast, Recovery Elevator
There are more podcasts out there for us but those are the ones I've found so far.
I read a lot of 'quit lit.' Like Blackout: Remebering the Things I Drank to Forget, Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife, etc.
I try to always have LaCroix sparkling water and some ice cream in the house.
I don't open my mouth right away when someone asks me to do something. Instead of saying yes immediately to get the external approval, I really think about if I can and want to do what the person is asking. The times I've said no I've felt so good after, bc learning what my boundaries are is excellent self care.
I observe myself and the subtle positive changes as I keep going along without drinking. I make sure to acknowledge every thing I do for myself that is healthier, especially when it comes to my thinking.
I know there's a lot more work to do but that's where I am now. I am always eager to add more to my toolbox. I've found this FINALLY to actually be a lot of fun and it feels better than drinking.
Took me along time to believe that, but now I feel safe over here and I find recovery worthy of pursuit.
Hope that helps, xoxo,
Melina
I am on SR several times a day. I participate in the Weekenders thread.
I listen to sobriety/recovery podcasts every day, twice a day. I have a long commute so it's just perfect.
Currently, and in order of my preferences, I listen to
1. The Bubble Hour
2. The SHAIR podcast
3. Since Right Now
Tied for 4 place are: AfterParty pod, HOME podcast, Recovery Elevator
There are more podcasts out there for us but those are the ones I've found so far.
I read a lot of 'quit lit.' Like Blackout: Remebering the Things I Drank to Forget, Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife, etc.
I try to always have LaCroix sparkling water and some ice cream in the house.
I don't open my mouth right away when someone asks me to do something. Instead of saying yes immediately to get the external approval, I really think about if I can and want to do what the person is asking. The times I've said no I've felt so good after, bc learning what my boundaries are is excellent self care.
I observe myself and the subtle positive changes as I keep going along without drinking. I make sure to acknowledge every thing I do for myself that is healthier, especially when it comes to my thinking.
I know there's a lot more work to do but that's where I am now. I am always eager to add more to my toolbox. I've found this FINALLY to actually be a lot of fun and it feels better than drinking.
Took me along time to believe that, but now I feel safe over here and I find recovery worthy of pursuit.
Hope that helps, xoxo,
Melina
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi,
The way I stopped was through reading about AVRT and really learning to identify and understand where those inner voices were coming from that were telling me to drink. And how to ignore them.
I also found Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking really useful. He effectively demolished all the reasons my AV was using to try and get me to drink. I realised I agreed with him completely. I literally was getting no benefits at all from alcohol. Everything I thought it did was a lie. That was a revelation.
Another big thing was just realising how much better my life was without alcohol. It really did feel like a veil had lifted and I just felt so much more connected to the world. I laugh more, engage with my kids better, still have fun with friends etc. Again, I didn't need alcohol to enjoy my life. What I thought was going to be a lifetime of denial and suffering for "the greater good", wasn't the case. Life was just better.
And then there's SR. Without these forums I never would have quit. The few times my AV started making noise, like on a work trip to Dublin, I posted about it here and really valued the feedback. And I'll admit, I don't know how useful any of my posts have been, but it feels good to at least try to help others who are just starting out. I drank for over 30 years, and never would have dreamed I'd go 6 months without a drink. There's no one approach that works for everyone, but there's bound to be someone else like me out there, and hopefully they'll see that if I can do it, they can too.
The way I stopped was through reading about AVRT and really learning to identify and understand where those inner voices were coming from that were telling me to drink. And how to ignore them.
I also found Allen Carr's How to Control Your Drinking really useful. He effectively demolished all the reasons my AV was using to try and get me to drink. I realised I agreed with him completely. I literally was getting no benefits at all from alcohol. Everything I thought it did was a lie. That was a revelation.
Another big thing was just realising how much better my life was without alcohol. It really did feel like a veil had lifted and I just felt so much more connected to the world. I laugh more, engage with my kids better, still have fun with friends etc. Again, I didn't need alcohol to enjoy my life. What I thought was going to be a lifetime of denial and suffering for "the greater good", wasn't the case. Life was just better.
And then there's SR. Without these forums I never would have quit. The few times my AV started making noise, like on a work trip to Dublin, I posted about it here and really valued the feedback. And I'll admit, I don't know how useful any of my posts have been, but it feels good to at least try to help others who are just starting out. I drank for over 30 years, and never would have dreamed I'd go 6 months without a drink. There's no one approach that works for everyone, but there's bound to be someone else like me out there, and hopefully they'll see that if I can do it, they can too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
I think the mental aspect of this journey is overlooked at times. For me, embracing the paradigm shift was key.
I choose to embrace forever immediately since (for me) it was more freeing and absolute than taking things in day tight compartments. I see myself as alcohol free and ensure my choices and thoughts stay congruent with my perception.
I use positive statements. (I am alcohol free- rather than I am a non drinker). I recognize the power of choice (I choose to be alcohol free- rather than I can't drink). I affirm the positive aspects of the choice (I'm actively present in my interactions with my family- rather than I wish I could have a drink).
I choose to embrace forever immediately since (for me) it was more freeing and absolute than taking things in day tight compartments. I see myself as alcohol free and ensure my choices and thoughts stay congruent with my perception.
I use positive statements. (I am alcohol free- rather than I am a non drinker). I recognize the power of choice (I choose to be alcohol free- rather than I can't drink). I affirm the positive aspects of the choice (I'm actively present in my interactions with my family- rather than I wish I could have a drink).
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: virgin islands
Posts: 145
When I first decided to quit I spent a lot of time here on SR. I found it an invaluable source of common support. Now I try to check in once in a while. It is still a strong reminder of the start of my journey to sobriety.
I also attended AA, and still do about once a week or so, even though I don't believe in most peoples interpretation of God, and I don't expect a spiritual awakening. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. It is the fellowship of AA that helped me realize I was not only an alcoholic, but also not alone. They are my higher power. AA helped me grow into the person that I am without alcohol in my life. Spiritual progress, not perfection.
I also attended AA, and still do about once a week or so, even though I don't believe in most peoples interpretation of God, and I don't expect a spiritual awakening. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. It is the fellowship of AA that helped me realize I was not only an alcoholic, but also not alone. They are my higher power. AA helped me grow into the person that I am without alcohol in my life. Spiritual progress, not perfection.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
I use a whole bunch of things! I use SR via an app on my phone which is perfect for me as I can check in whenever.
I also attend AA meetings, contact at least one other person in recovery each day, read a lot about addiction and I have a task list each day. I keep the list short and achievable, then at the end of the day even if I've done just one thing from the list (like one load of laundry or post letters), then I feel a sense of achievement. I'm really critical of myself so I'm hoping the list thing will help!
I also attend AA meetings, contact at least one other person in recovery each day, read a lot about addiction and I have a task list each day. I keep the list short and achievable, then at the end of the day even if I've done just one thing from the list (like one load of laundry or post letters), then I feel a sense of achievement. I'm really critical of myself so I'm hoping the list thing will help!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
I read and learned about RR and AVRT which gave me the 'tools' to accept that permanent abstinence was the only real answer/solution. I think as an overall theme from those with 'time' or 'more time' and 'lots of time' , is that we have to first decide that quitting is what we want , to be sober to live alcohol free , accept that it is possible and then look for tools and support that will help keep our resolve .
Not having or having not yet figured out what are the 'right' tools or support can be ammo the AV uses to keep from getting out of the cycle. It seems the best way forward is to pick a specific moment n time (now being the optimal best and btw every Now we encounter in the future) to be Quit and look for support for that decision, as opposed to trying to find the thing(s) that will 'get to' sobriety.
I know I had to stop letting my 'alcoholism' be the thing in the way , the thing keeping me from being sober. Fully embrace permanent abstinence as a frame of mind and then live it with all the support you can muster.
Not having or having not yet figured out what are the 'right' tools or support can be ammo the AV uses to keep from getting out of the cycle. It seems the best way forward is to pick a specific moment n time (now being the optimal best
and btw every Now we encounter in the future) to be Quit and look for support for that decision, as opposed to trying to find the thing(s) that will 'get to' sobriety.I know I had to stop letting my 'alcoholism' be the thing in the way , the thing keeping me from being sober. Fully embrace permanent abstinence as a frame of mind and then live it with all the support you can muster.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 933
Originally Posted by OpenTuning 
And I'll admit, I don't know how useful any of my posts have been, but it feels good to at least try to help others who are just starting out
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