Day 1 again !!!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Day 1 again !!!
Good morning
I apologise for what will be a self-centred ramble. I originally joined on Super Bowl 2015 night and achieved 6 weeks sobriety but then screwed up.
I needed this site but had forgotten my details and rejoined under this moniker hence only looking like I've been here since April. (Didn't occur to me to try a password reset, alcohol fog!! Anyhow, old account blocked so just the one account :-D )
I am drinking virtually every day now (got through 2 weeks at Disney World with one drunk day but besides that two days with a single glass of wine with a meal) and I have to stop!
I have no self control. I can't regulate. I HAVE to stop totally.
My elderly parents live 30 miles away. My mum doesn't drive and my dads health is failing. I need to be able to drive over there at the drop of a hat.
My work is suffering (I work from home), my health is suffering, I'm due to start a distance learning degree in Feb (as well as dance lessons and sign language lessons in Jan). Basically I need a clear head.
My son deserves a better mother.
So, another day 1.
I'm hoping to be sitting here for Super Bowl 50 and watching it sober!!
Thank you for letting me self indulge with a 'me me me' post!!
I apologise for what will be a self-centred ramble. I originally joined on Super Bowl 2015 night and achieved 6 weeks sobriety but then screwed up.
I needed this site but had forgotten my details and rejoined under this moniker hence only looking like I've been here since April. (Didn't occur to me to try a password reset, alcohol fog!! Anyhow, old account blocked so just the one account :-D )
I am drinking virtually every day now (got through 2 weeks at Disney World with one drunk day but besides that two days with a single glass of wine with a meal) and I have to stop!
I have no self control. I can't regulate. I HAVE to stop totally.
My elderly parents live 30 miles away. My mum doesn't drive and my dads health is failing. I need to be able to drive over there at the drop of a hat.
My work is suffering (I work from home), my health is suffering, I'm due to start a distance learning degree in Feb (as well as dance lessons and sign language lessons in Jan). Basically I need a clear head.
My son deserves a better mother.
So, another day 1.
I'm hoping to be sitting here for Super Bowl 50 and watching it sober!!
Thank you for letting me self indulge with a 'me me me' post!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Welcome back VW 
you have a lot of reasons to stay sober...do you have a plan though? D
you have a lot of reasons to stay sober...do you have a plan though? DI think I've realised for me I need a long term goal and also hour by hour coping mechanisms. I need visual notes on doors, fridges ..... probably even in the car!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by awuh1
Consider doing what has worked for large numbers of other people. If one of those methods don't work then try another. I think this will increase your chances. All the best to you
I'm reading through lots of posts on SR and thinking about what I can take from them to help me
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Apologies for another post, just been pondering things.
I KNOW something grotty is going to happen in the next few days. It always does when I decide to stop drinking. I intended to stop last week and somebody broke into my car and stole the Christmas tree I had just bought. The week before my dad ended up in hospital and needed a stent put into an artery in his heart.
Well, this time I'm ready. I have a lot of tea 'pods' for my coffee machine, bacon in the fridge for sandwiches and will shoot out first thing for biscuits to go with my tea.
I'm sick and tired of feeling, well, sick and tired. I want to live, not just exist.
I KNOW something grotty is going to happen in the next few days. It always does when I decide to stop drinking. I intended to stop last week and somebody broke into my car and stole the Christmas tree I had just bought. The week before my dad ended up in hospital and needed a stent put into an artery in his heart.
Well, this time I'm ready. I have a lot of tea 'pods' for my coffee machine, bacon in the fridge for sandwiches and will shoot out first thing for biscuits to go with my tea.
I'm sick and tired of feeling, well, sick and tired. I want to live, not just exist.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
AND another thing that has just occurred to me, in fact horrified me, is how much money I have wasted on alcohol.
Yesterday alone I spent about £15. I must be spending £60-£70 a week. Flaming heck!!
I think I'm going to get a lockable money box, give the key to a friend and stick £50 in it each week!!!
Yesterday alone I spent about £15. I must be spending £60-£70 a week. Flaming heck!!
I think I'm going to get a lockable money box, give the key to a friend and stick £50 in it each week!!!
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Post away, Virginia! We're here for you.
Two of the big reasons why I got sober were so I could be a better mom to my daughter and because I was horrified at how much I was spending on booze and dinners out (an excuse to drink!), so I relate.
Glad you're back. Stick around, ok?
Delfin
Two of the big reasons why I got sober were so I could be a better mom to my daughter and because I was horrified at how much I was spending on booze and dinners out (an excuse to drink!), so I relate.
Glad you're back. Stick around, ok?
Delfin
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Location: Lincolnshire, UK
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Feeling a little guilty. Did some housework, took the dog out for a walk, little bit more housework. Now back in PJs, under duvet watching DVDs. And it's not even 2pm !!
I've turned my work phone off and emailed my manager to say I've got a migraine but will get my hours done this week (I work from home). It means I'll have to work Weds evening and Sat morning but just feel like I need to spend time getting inspiration from here!
I've turned my work phone off and emailed my manager to say I've got a migraine but will get my hours done this week (I work from home). It means I'll have to work Weds evening and Sat morning but just feel like I need to spend time getting inspiration from here!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Wow, can't believe how tired I'm feeling. I think I've mentally surrendered to the acceptance I can't go on like this and am just totally drained.
I don't mean too tired to work at staying sober, too tired of life being an alcohol induced drama.
This time it is IT. I have both a 2 legged and a 4 legged dependant so there's 8 legs in this household depending on me :-D
I don't mean too tired to work at staying sober, too tired of life being an alcohol induced drama.
This time it is IT. I have both a 2 legged and a 4 legged dependant so there's 8 legs in this household depending on me :-D
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