Rip me if you want
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Rip me if you want
I just got home from two in town events. If you have read some of my posts from earlier this week, it has been a humdinger. People calling me from all walks of life and from different times in my past all screwed up, looking for advice. Then, I attended 2 funerals between yesterday and today. Felt it necessary to attend the celebration of life. Lastly I am a wrestler, high school and college. Our team celebrated its 50th year and I am an alumni. So yes, I went into town tonight and shook a lot of hands, hugged alot of people and had a few drinks. These were "life" events and I did not feel right sitting at home wallowing in my self pity of alcoholism, so I got myself cleaned up, dressed up and attended these events. I drank, I did not get drunk and felt proud that I attended. I'm coming clean, if you want to rip me for the fact I drank alcohol, go ahead. But at the end of the day, I'm not circling the drain and I feel good about attending.
Some things eclipse "a couple drinks". Tonight was one of them.
Some things eclipse "a couple drinks". Tonight was one of them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
I got to tell you Thomas; I didn't like reading you had a few drinks.
If you insist on going to these events you have to learn to do it sober...I go to a lot of events full of free booze, it is part of my job.
Your sobriety bank is running low and it needs work before it could end in a total relapse.
Give yourself a chance, get some sober time up and then reflect on your mindset today.
Denial and our AV can dictate a mindset that we think is ours..and then once we get a bit of sober time up, it's like "What was I thinking!!'...
...Take care of yourself Thomas, we about to go full on into the Christmas cheer and NY season.
If you insist on going to these events you have to learn to do it sober...I go to a lot of events full of free booze, it is part of my job.
Your sobriety bank is running low and it needs work before it could end in a total relapse.
Give yourself a chance, get some sober time up and then reflect on your mindset today.
Denial and our AV can dictate a mindset that we think is ours..and then once we get a bit of sober time up, it's like "What was I thinking!!'...
...Take care of yourself Thomas, we about to go full on into the Christmas cheer and NY season.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by thomas11 
It was social, and meaningful.
I'm not 'ripping' (?) at all - just think it was a crazy risk and 'social and meaningful' sounds like your addictive voice talking and justifying it.
Hoping that you manage to draw a line under it and get back to your recovery today rather than letting it go from a few snowflakes, to a snowstorm, and then a snowdrift, and obliterate all your work and get back to where you started (or deeper down).
Your call though. None of our business at the end of the day. YOU're the one in the driver seat. It's your life.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Well, maybe you are not an alcoholic in which case you are good to go.
If you are an alcoholic, you know where to find us when it blows up in your face. Hopefully, you will make it back...many don't.
Enjoy your holidays and best of luck to you.
If you are an alcoholic, you know where to find us when it blows up in your face. Hopefully, you will make it back...many don't.
Enjoy your holidays and best of luck to you.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
I don't think anyone's intention here is to rip you , Thomas.
And it's good that you are honest about this.
Anyway...
Sounds like you are justifying your couple of drinks. No? Drinks are never "meaningful". "Meaningful drink" it's just an oxymoron as it is. If you want to show respect to traditions, people, whatever - there are a lot of ways to do it without drink. And people get accustomed to this - I can tell from my experience - it just takes your willingness.
Putting "meaning" in a drink is a path of least resistance. It's what everyone does.
Where I am from they have this saying about someone drinking with you "do you respect me". Aha. Lots of respect for sure.
Do you really believe that by having a drink you will show more "respect" to people you are drinking with? I don't think so.
Ok, with all that being said, "social and meaningful" can go perfectly on their own without need to be accompanied by drink. Too bad that this society cliche makes people think otherwise.
And it's good that you are honest about this.
Anyway...
Sounds like you are justifying your couple of drinks. No? Drinks are never "meaningful". "Meaningful drink" it's just an oxymoron as it is. If you want to show respect to traditions, people, whatever - there are a lot of ways to do it without drink. And people get accustomed to this - I can tell from my experience - it just takes your willingness.
Putting "meaning" in a drink is a path of least resistance. It's what everyone does.
Where I am from they have this saying about someone drinking with you "do you respect me". Aha. Lots of respect for sure.
Do you really believe that by having a drink you will show more "respect" to people you are drinking with? I don't think so.
Ok, with all that being said, "social and meaningful" can go perfectly on their own without need to be accompanied by drink. Too bad that this society cliche makes people think otherwise.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Allentown,pa
Posts: 396
No one is here to yell at you. You're not court ordered to be here,you came here because you need support and help to quit drinking. And we're never going to give up on you. You're addiction runs you, like it did all of us at some point. It's time to fight back and do everything you need too, to get your life back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
nah, I'm not going to rip you Jeff.
you've had an amazing amount of good advice here but in the end, you're an adult and you can do what you want.
I would recommend you look at some of your old threads tho... that almost goading, gloating voice your posts often used to have? It's back.
It wasn't a good look then - and it's not a good look now.
When you want to talk seriously about your problem and what to do about it, I and a lot of other folks will be here, no worries.
D
you've had an amazing amount of good advice here but in the end, you're an adult and you can do what you want.
I would recommend you look at some of your old threads tho... that almost goading, gloating voice your posts often used to have? It's back.
It wasn't a good look then - and it's not a good look now.
When you want to talk seriously about your problem and what to do about it, I and a lot of other folks will be here, no worries.
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
My experience was that these unmissable social occasions got more frequent over time and my consumption went up .
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
Eventually i made the step to i'll just have one with dinner and started at home again ,
a month later it was two very large glasses ,
a few weeks later why not finnish off that bottle seems daft to leave half a glass in the bottom ,
then i bought three bottles for the week and ended up drinking them in one night ..
then another 10 years went by somewhere .
My experience and understanding is if you leave the door open just a crack , it is still open ..
I closed the door , i'm never opening it again .
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: London
Posts: 122
I see youre a wrestler. Great sport! I know you will have heard of Gracie Jiu Jitsu. 99% of all the Gracie family NEVER drink. Hundreds of good men in that family and hundreds of thousands of students. NEVER drink. And all have great social lives, they are physically, mentally and spiritually strong. And extremely social, go to a Gracie wedding! 
It is your AV talking to you. IF you can sober up for 7 days, after the Methyl Ethanol has left your brain chemistry back to normal, you will see that very clearly and had a lucky escape from hell. Good luck my friend.
It is your AV talking to you. IF you can sober up for 7 days, after the Methyl Ethanol has left your brain chemistry back to normal, you will see that very clearly and had a lucky escape from hell. Good luck my friend.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 309
I've read your post a couple of times and to be honest, I want to give support as you're on a support forum, but I don't know what to say so I'll do my best!
I'm not sure what a meaningful drink is as I'll use any excuse to justify a drink and that sounds like the sort of thing I'd say, but I'm not here to judge. If you can moderate, and you sound quite defensive about it, then what's the issue? Good for you, maybe you don't have a drinking problem! But you are here, on Sober Recovery, so I'd encourage you to think about what brought you here in the first place.
We are all here to support each other and I doubt anyone is going to rip you apart for your own decisions, but if you're happy and confident in your drinking and there's no adverse effects and you have no desire to stop, then it's all good.
I'm not sure what a meaningful drink is as I'll use any excuse to justify a drink and that sounds like the sort of thing I'd say, but I'm not here to judge. If you can moderate, and you sound quite defensive about it, then what's the issue? Good for you, maybe you don't have a drinking problem! But you are here, on Sober Recovery, so I'd encourage you to think about what brought you here in the first place.
We are all here to support each other and I doubt anyone is going to rip you apart for your own decisions, but if you're happy and confident in your drinking and there's no adverse effects and you have no desire to stop, then it's all good.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
All I'd say is, if you have no problem with alcohol and can handle it, why come to a forum focused on sobriety and full of heartbreaking stories of alcoholism and post about it?
Best of luck to you if you can drink safely. It's a bit mean-spirited to others who are struggling here in this forum to boast about your great drinking experience then, isn't it?
Best of luck to you if you can drink safely. It's a bit mean-spirited to others who are struggling here in this forum to boast about your great drinking experience then, isn't it?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 73
So I will assume that either you have lost interest in sobriety, you think it's no longer a problem, or you just don't care.
How many drinks you had or didn't have doesn't define your alcoholism, the fact that you couldn't do this night sober does. Do you not see the problem?
Your post makes me angry, and it's misleading to new users.
I wish you the best, I hope it works out for you.
How many drinks you had or didn't have doesn't define your alcoholism, the fact that you couldn't do this night sober does. Do you not see the problem?
Your post makes me angry, and it's misleading to new users.
I wish you the best, I hope it works out for you.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Jeff, it'll just say what I did in your last post about your hunting trip. It's a slippery slope. Drinking like a normal person isn't that hard the first couple of times. But the old habits start to creep in. The last time I had any significant sober time was 10 years ago. I also thought a couple of drinks in social circumstances would be OK. Old habits die hard and time passes you by.
At the end of the day it's your choice and you know yourself better than I.
At the end of the day it's your choice and you know yourself better than I.
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