Making a new start
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 165
Making a new start
Hi everyone. I am Kelly, a 30 yo high school teacher living in Auckland, New Zealand. I signed up to this forum years ago and have been off and on (mostly lurking) since then but have never managed to stay sober.
I had my first drink when I was 14 years old and I have always been a binger - drinking myself into oblivion most weekends for the majority of my teens and twenties. In the more recent years, I have noticed that my drinking is becoming much more of a daily habit and I use it to "cope" with life. My job has been a huge source of stress for me and I'd often come home with a bottle and drink it. I often catch myself justifying why it's ok for me to drink and I often think that it is the only time I ever feel "joy". I know the truth though - drinking has nothing whatsoever to do with experiencing joy and it has become the ultimate act of life avoidance and numbing. I know that I will not be able to make any headway in my life if I continue to drink. I need to learn how to BE and learn how to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin.
Today, I have had possibly the worst hangover of my life. It wasn't really a "hangover" but more like an exorcism. It has been really really rough.
I know I need to stop this so I thought I would come back on and just say that today is Day 1 (can I count the hangover day as Day 1?).
I hope that I can stay accountable and I look forward to connecting with you all.
I had my first drink when I was 14 years old and I have always been a binger - drinking myself into oblivion most weekends for the majority of my teens and twenties. In the more recent years, I have noticed that my drinking is becoming much more of a daily habit and I use it to "cope" with life. My job has been a huge source of stress for me and I'd often come home with a bottle and drink it. I often catch myself justifying why it's ok for me to drink and I often think that it is the only time I ever feel "joy". I know the truth though - drinking has nothing whatsoever to do with experiencing joy and it has become the ultimate act of life avoidance and numbing. I know that I will not be able to make any headway in my life if I continue to drink. I need to learn how to BE and learn how to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin.
Today, I have had possibly the worst hangover of my life. It wasn't really a "hangover" but more like an exorcism. It has been really really rough.
I know I need to stop this so I thought I would come back on and just say that today is Day 1 (can I count the hangover day as Day 1?).
I hope that I can stay accountable and I look forward to connecting with you all.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Here's some good threads to join:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5684559
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5685300
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
IMO Kelly it's time to develop a plan. There are any number of ways to stay sober but the most successful plans are a bit more detailed than just not drinking. I hope you don't mind me asking what yours is. I'd like to see you succeed.
If you don't have one, now is the time to think about developing one.
All the best to you.
If you don't have one, now is the time to think about developing one.
All the best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Posts: 165
Yes, you are right - I do need a plan. The only place I know to start is by journaling everyday as that helps keep me accountable. I have a book on my kobo about quitting drinking which I hope will give me some ideas for how to stay sober.
It is a tricky time to quit since Christmas and New Year is coming up and I am actually going away for a month tomorrow, travelling overseas back to my home country (England) a place holds a number of bad memories for me. It would be easy to drink my way through it, but I think I need to be sober and learn to deal with it somehow.
I plan on logging onto this site when I can while overseas and when I get back to NZ I will attend AA meetings.
Any other suggestions??
It is a tricky time to quit since Christmas and New Year is coming up and I am actually going away for a month tomorrow, travelling overseas back to my home country (England) a place holds a number of bad memories for me. It would be easy to drink my way through it, but I think I need to be sober and learn to deal with it somehow.
I plan on logging onto this site when I can while overseas and when I get back to NZ I will attend AA meetings.
Any other suggestions??
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
It's difficult in the beginning. Returning to England will make not drinking both easier and more difficult depending on the situation. I can imagine that you will be offered lots of drinks in the coming weeks. Have a way to refuse them, and an escape plan for situations you my find yourself in which might prove overwhelming.
You will likely have the opportunity to attend AA meetings while you travel. You can be totally anonymous. This could be a huge advantage in a way. Share a lot, be totally honest about your situation and get lots of input from people in meetings. Don't wait to attend till you return from your trip.
All the best in your journeys, both in your recovery and back to the homeland. Keep posting.
You will likely have the opportunity to attend AA meetings while you travel. You can be totally anonymous. This could be a huge advantage in a way. Share a lot, be totally honest about your situation and get lots of input from people in meetings. Don't wait to attend till you return from your trip.
All the best in your journeys, both in your recovery and back to the homeland. Keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Some excellent advice on plans here Kelly
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf
Glad to have you join us!
D
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf
Glad to have you join us!
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: South West England
Posts: 17
Hi Kelly,
I'm a similar age to you and I see myself in what you say about drinking being life avoidance, and needing to learn to love yourself. I hope you can make the changes you have planned out! Let us know how you're getting on
I'm a similar age to you and I see myself in what you say about drinking being life avoidance, and needing to learn to love yourself. I hope you can make the changes you have planned out! Let us know how you're getting on
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