New here - need to connect
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 2
New here - need to connect
Hi Everyone!
I am brand new here. Day 4 sober. Here's a snapshot of my story:
I was sober for a year and a half and relapsed about 6 months ago. AA didn't work for me but when I stopped meetings I didn't have a back-up plan. I slowly began drinking a little at a time and that quickly turned back into binge drinking. I am a mother of young twins, I have a good, part-time career and I'm married to a wonderful man who unfortunately drinks as well. That's a big part of the problem. My husband and I have been drinking buddies for over 20 years. He thinks I'm fun when I drink and he doesn't quite see the problem. He is a binge drinker as well but can go much longer in between drinking than I can. I have been hiding the fact that I'm drinking heavily again. When I start, I can't have just one drink. It just doesn't work that way.
My family (mom, sister, etc) all drink occasionally and they don't see a problem with my drinking either. When I was sober before, they all continued to drink around me and it was hard. They are not responsible for me, I realize that. They have been verbally supportive and encouraging in the past but don't yet know I've again hit the realization that I simply Can. Not. Drink. At. All.
My hangovers are horrible, riddled with anxiety, dizziness, disorientation etc. The problem is, I start to feel better after not drinking for a few days and then having some wine begins to sound like a fine idea. I know I need to exercise as part of my sobriety as well as focus on healthy nutrition.
Thank you for listening. I finally realized I need support. I need to have contact with other people who are sober or trying to be sober.
Warmly,
Sunrise17
I am brand new here. Day 4 sober. Here's a snapshot of my story:
I was sober for a year and a half and relapsed about 6 months ago. AA didn't work for me but when I stopped meetings I didn't have a back-up plan. I slowly began drinking a little at a time and that quickly turned back into binge drinking. I am a mother of young twins, I have a good, part-time career and I'm married to a wonderful man who unfortunately drinks as well. That's a big part of the problem. My husband and I have been drinking buddies for over 20 years. He thinks I'm fun when I drink and he doesn't quite see the problem. He is a binge drinker as well but can go much longer in between drinking than I can. I have been hiding the fact that I'm drinking heavily again. When I start, I can't have just one drink. It just doesn't work that way.
My family (mom, sister, etc) all drink occasionally and they don't see a problem with my drinking either. When I was sober before, they all continued to drink around me and it was hard. They are not responsible for me, I realize that. They have been verbally supportive and encouraging in the past but don't yet know I've again hit the realization that I simply Can. Not. Drink. At. All.
My hangovers are horrible, riddled with anxiety, dizziness, disorientation etc. The problem is, I start to feel better after not drinking for a few days and then having some wine begins to sound like a fine idea. I know I need to exercise as part of my sobriety as well as focus on healthy nutrition.
Thank you for listening. I finally realized I need support. I need to have contact with other people who are sober or trying to be sober.
Warmly,
Sunrise17
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
hi sunrise and welcome. I think many of us have been down the road you're describing. We were fine drinkers and then it started to be a more common occurrence and then before you know it you're drinking alone and starting to minimize the problem until you just can't ignore it anymore. You might have to come clean and tell your husband and family just how bad it is and that you really need the support.
Good luck
Good luck
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
It's so good to meet you, Sunrise. The friendship and support I found here gave me the courage to stay sober. It helps to be honest with those who truly understand. Glad you found us, and congrats on Day 4.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Hi Sunrise,
Welcome to the family. Your story sounds pretty familiar. I binged on weekends and sometimes stopped after bad episodes for the last 25 years or so, and my wife was my drinking buddy as well for about the last ten years. Finally after a couple of episodes that gave me clarity I decided I would do what I had to do to get out of the rut and not live this any way any more. And having kids that are getting old enough to pick up on what's going on is a big part of it. Although not at first, my wife is now on board and glad to be done with drinking. But I'm not going to minimize that fact that changing the foundation under your relationship may be quite problematic. Still, I think we need to be strong in the fact of social pressures and do what we know needs to be done!
Hope to see you posting around and good luck!
Welcome to the family. Your story sounds pretty familiar. I binged on weekends and sometimes stopped after bad episodes for the last 25 years or so, and my wife was my drinking buddy as well for about the last ten years. Finally after a couple of episodes that gave me clarity I decided I would do what I had to do to get out of the rut and not live this any way any more. And having kids that are getting old enough to pick up on what's going on is a big part of it. Although not at first, my wife is now on board and glad to be done with drinking. But I'm not going to minimize that fact that changing the foundation under your relationship may be quite problematic. Still, I think we need to be strong in the fact of social pressures and do what we know needs to be done!
Hope to see you posting around and good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 2
wow! Thank you SO much everyone! Your replies and posts really have helped me. Glad to hear some stories that are similar to mine. I'm going to talk to hubby this weekend about the changes I need to make. Tonight was rough. The kids were irritating the heck out of me and then I realized that normally I would have been drinking some wine. Probably added to the irritability that I'm on day 4! I need to be gentle with myself! I'll be posting and reading as often as I can. Thanks everyone!
Sunrise
Sunrise
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Western NY
Posts: 125
Welcome Sunrise! Your story and concerns mirror mine - I find checking in here frequently and reading other sources of addiction info is very helpful to counter the fact that no one else thinks my drinking is the problem I know it is. By day, I am everyone's go-to person, I meet all my responsibilities, I appear put together and on top of things, and at 5 o'clock I plunge into a bottle of wine and I'm pretty useless till I've shaken off my hangover the next day.
Stay strong, and be selfish with your sobriety. My husband had worries that an essential part of our relationship was being lost, but in previous sober periods I've maintained, he found it wasn't the big deal he feared it would be.
Best of luck to you!
Stay strong, and be selfish with your sobriety. My husband had worries that an essential part of our relationship was being lost, but in previous sober periods I've maintained, he found it wasn't the big deal he feared it would be.
Best of luck to you!
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